


Widowed

by TheBackgroundCharacter



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Affairs, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Cheating, Cults, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Eren is paranoid, Eren is very beautiful, Everyone Loves Eren Yeager, Everyone Wants Eren Yeager's Booty, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, Gang Rape, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Objectification, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Painful Sex, Paranoia, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Rape/Non-con, Pining, Pregnancy, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sort of AU, Unhappy marriages, Wakes & Funerals, slight AU, sort of cannon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:15:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 79,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29182377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBackgroundCharacter/pseuds/TheBackgroundCharacter
Summary: The Funeral of a soldier is usually not such a big deal in the country of Paradise, however one soldiers untimely passing was. The only reason that anyone held any interest in his death was because the Widow he left behind is said to be the most beautiful being behind the walls. And Levi wanted to see for himself if it's true.However, once he meets the grieving widow, the lovely face and emerald green eyes haunts Levi for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, in order to earn the broken heart he so desires, he must deal with the others who pine for the beautiful Eren.Dark Fic. Don't Like Don't Read. Mind the Tags. TW's posted at the beginning of every chapter.
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager, Zeke Yeager/Yelena
Comments: 250
Kudos: 263





	1. The Widow

**Author's Note:**

> Dark Fic: Warnings: Hints of past abuse. 
> 
> So this idea came to me and I couldn't let it go. It's slightly AU, as it takes place with Paradise and the walls, but dose not involve Marley. I don't fully have the universe worked out yet, but I will.

The streets were busy as always. Lots of people are going about their day. Heading to work, heading home, out visiting with friends, shopping, walking the dogs, blah blah blah… Levi Akerman, for one, absolutely hated the monotony of it all. Life was so goddamn boring, and there was nothing he could do to numb the boredom aside from a life of excessive drinking and drugs and promiscuity. However even that was beginning to bore him. Maybe he’ll die of boredom soon. 

These next few days were going to be especially boring days, as he was asked to accompany Erwin Smith to a funeral of all things. Today was the visitation, the next day was the funeral itself. Oh how he despised how boring funerals were, but he couldn’t deny a request of his oldest and closest friend. 

Supposedly the man that passed away was a coworker of Erwin’s and he needed to pay his respects. So he decided to drag Levi along so there was something to accompany this painful experience. However, there was one thing he was looking forward to: the dead man’s widow. Supposedly, the spouse he left behind was an absolute beauty, the gem of the city. Most of those who will be attending the funeral are actually attending with the intention of wooing his widow.  


Levi wondered how truly pretty this grieving widow was, he had a picky seance of beauty, so he doubted he’d find the widow as beautiful as the rumors claimed. He did still want to see for himself though. Hell, maybe if that widow was truly as lovely as the rumors say, Levi will weasel his way into the grieving spouses bed. He smirked at the thought, that would actually make the night almost worth it.

Finally the carriage Erwin and Levi took had arrived at their destination: a very large and extravagant house. One of the nicest places in the city of Shiganshina. Of course it was, the man whose funeral they were attending was a high ranking army officer, not to mention his spouse came from a wealthy family of medics. Supposedly the couple met on the battlefield, he was an injured soldier who fell hard and fast for his pretty nurse.  


“Say Erwin, why don’t you tell me about this guy.” Levi asked. It made sense, after all, Erwin was higher ranking than the dead man who they were honoring tonight, so of course Erwin would know everything there was to know. “I want to at least pretend like I knew him.”  


“No you don’t Levi. You’re so full of shit.” Erwin rolled his eyes at his friend's remarks. Erwin knew damn well that Levi was nothing but a spoiled rich kid who never had to work a day in his life, and never even bothered to act otherwise. “Reiner Braun. He was a lower-ranking soldier. Decent man, not a very good soldier though. Not much else to say about him though, I didn’t really interact with him. When not on duty he was either out drinking with the rest of the lot, or he was flirting with that one pretty nurse. Ah, what was his name? Eren. I remember it so clearly. Remember him so clearly.. I always liked that one, though he could have done better than Braun in my opinion.”

“Hm. That’s what a lot of folks say.” Levi remarked boredly. “You told me everything I already knew. Some help you are. Ah, tonight’s going to suck. I’m ready to get to the bar and drink.”

“Of course that’d be the only thing you care about, you sick, tiny, freak.”

“Shut up Shitty Eyebrows.”

By that time they had to quiet down and at least come across as respectable, as they were greeted and allowed inside the parlor. It was beautiful and adorned with proper decorations of black and flowers. Most of the space was cleaned to allow guests to wander through and interact as they saw fit. At the very back of the parlor, was the coffin, with piles of beautiful flowers resting on the lid. Right in front of the coffin, back turned and body covered head to toe in black lace, stood the widow.  


Alone. Still. And silent. He interacted with no one. Some people would gain the nerve to talk to him, only to be completely and utterly ignored. From where Levi stood, he could only see the man’s long, chestnut brown hair, and the slight glow of porcelain skin from the back of his cheek. Even that was tricky to see, as the veil atop his head, though not covering his face, still obscured him from sight. Levi vaguely thought about how he wanted to see the rest of his face, but the smell of wine distracted him.

Several butlers were walking around with trays of food and drink. Levi helped himself to a dark glass of red wine. He could down the whole thing in one gulp if he wanted, but decided against it. Choosing to stay somewhat decent. As the afternoon rolled by, many more guests showed up. Quite a lot of people showing up for this one mediocre dead soldier, Levi thought to himself, thought he knew, it wasn’t the soldier himself why they came, it was what he left behind.  


Before Levi knew it, Erwin left his side and approached Braun’s widow. Levi was stunned, he didn't think the man would make a move. Or at least, not this soon. Slightly more grump about being left alone with pompous strangers, Levi followed Erwin over. He had no intention of being at this drab fest without Erwin around.  


“It’s been a long time, Eren.” Erwin spoke as he got close, Levi just sat back and watched. “It’s been what, four years now?”

Levi expected Eren to completely ignore him, as he did with the other guests. To his surprise, the widow turned his head to look at Erwin. Slow movements picking up life and pace. “Commander Smith. What an honor for you to attend.”

Erwin chuckled and pulled the smaller man into a warm embrace, to which Eren carefully returned. “Of course I wouldn’t miss this for the world. My best nurse deserves everything in his time of mourning.”

Levi was shocked at how tender Erwin was. He was usually cold and calculating, hardly sparing anyone the time of day for anything. Not this young man, he was somehow special enough to earn the great Commander Erwin Smith’s attention.

Erwin turned to Levi and grinned. “Eren there’s someone I would like for you to meet.” Erwin gestured towards Levi and waved him over. Begrudgingly, Levi stepped closer. “Eren, this is my dear friend Levi Akerman. Levi, this is my finest nurse from the battlefield, Eren Jaeger-Braun.”

When Eren turned to face Levi fully the raven haired man was shook to his very core. Breath completely stolen. He felt weak. Standing right before him, was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

Eren was gorgeous, the rumors didn’t do him justice. He had long, chestnut brown hair that was slightly disheveled, but still elegant, framing a perfectly sculpted face. High cheekbones, a cute nose, porcelain skin that was probably softer than velvet to the touch. And the eyes. Bright emerald green eyes that held a warm ocean that Levi wanted to just swim in. Levi felt frozen in place and frozen in time. How was he supposed to go on with his boring life knowing something so exciting and beautiful existed? He understood now why he was the gem of the city. The gem of the nation.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mister Akerman.” Eren dipped his head slightly in a polite gesture. “I’m honored that you could come.”

Levi needed to shake his head to reset his thoughts. It was as if he was taken so aback, he had forgotten how to act. “Yes, well… My condolences, Mister Braun. I am sorry to hear about the untimely passing of your husband.” Levi reached forward and grabbed one of Eren’s gloved hands, placing a gentle kiss on the back of the glove, cursing it’s existence and the sheer fact that it kept Levi from touching Eren’s skin.

Eren gave him a polite thank you before turning his attention back to the coffin his beloved lay in, quietly mourning him. Back to ignoring the world around him and dutifully morning his husband, like a good widow should.  


Erwin pulled himself and Levi further into the parlor, as to not disturb Eren. Or rather, Levi, still in his stupified state, was dragged away by Erwin so Eren wouldn’t overhear their gossip.

“Well what was your impression of Braun’s widow?” Erwin chuckled, he knew already what was going through Levi’s head. “Do you see why I wanted you to accompany me?”

“He’s gorgeous.” Levi breathed out, looking up at Erwin. “I think he’s the most beautiful human I have ever laid eyes upon.”

“I know. You wouldn’t believe the excitement that ran through this city at the news of Braun’s death.” Erwin continued. Neither he nor Levi looked at each other, their attention was fixed on Eren. “Braun only ever had one thing of real value. And that’s sweet little Eren. Eren who used to make the whole army swoon and go mad with lust. Everyone wanted him, but somehow, Reiner of all people, one of the worst soldiers we ever had, was who won Eren’s hand in marriage. He had to have bought it, paid off the Jaeger family. How else would scum like Reiner wed a beauty like Eren.”

“Hm, that I understand. What I don’t is why you wanted to drag me into your military drama!” Levi was annoyed with Erwin, but now that he’s seen Eren, also thankful in a strange way. “You know I never was in the military and never will be. So what is the point of dragging me here?”

“Well Levi.” Erwin smirked at him. “I want you to be my best man for my wedding.”

Levi was stumped. Looking up at Erwin with a mix of confusion and disgust. “Come again?”

“Really, Levi. Pay attention.” Erwin sighed, annoyed at how childish his friend could be. “I am here to propose to Eren. What a wonderful trophy he will make. And I’m far superior to Reiner, there’s no way he’ll be able to refuse.”

“Erwin… We’re at the man’s funeral and you’re already planning on moving in on his widow?”

“Oh shut your mouth. That’s why most everyone is here.” Erwin reminded him. “No one ever cared about Reiner. No one really even liked him. He was a bastard. The reason everyone is at his funeral is because of Eren. Over the next few days he will have more marriage proposals than there are people of this nation. And I intend to be the one he chooses.”

Levi almost couldn't believe the words coming from Erwin’s mouth. He knew his friend was a bastard, but he didn’t expect him to go this far.  
“What a cheap trick you dirty bastard!” Levi almost laughed at Erwin. “Fine, I’ll be your best man.”

Levi agreed with Erwin, but it was only to make him happy. Not that Levi would call himself a good person, as he was clearly going to pine after Eren as well. At least he had some semblance of class that he could fabricate by not asking for the poor man’s hand in marriage so soon after his spouse's passing.

“I knew you would, old friend!” Erwin pat Levi’s back and made his way back over to Eren. Oh no, was he going to propose? Right here? Right now? Levi followed close behind.

“Eren,” Erwin once again was the only thing to pull the widow away from his beloved.

“Commander Smith…”

“Call me Erwin, Eren. We are on friendly terms after all.” Erwin chuckled and reassured Eren. The poor man looked confused, but unwilling to speak up.

“Say, I was thinking.” Erwin started. “It has been quite a journey to get here. Where I live is very far away. Traveled all the way from the interior to come here. I wouldn’t miss this funeral for the world, I just don’t feel like riding several days back home, only to do it again so soon, then so soon again is a waste of time and energy. Don’t you agree?”

Erwin bore his dark stare down into Eren, who only seemed to curl in on himself. He made no movements to speak. Only to sit and wait timidly to what Erwin had to tell him.

“Eren I’m asking if you would be so kind as to let myself and Levi spend the night with you.”

“Oh…” Eren started, he fidgeted uncomfortably. “Well, between my extended family and my late husband’s family I I don’t know if we have room.”

“Eren this house is huge. And we both know that neither you nor Reiner has an abundance of family.” Erwin continued to pressure Eren, he was going to get what he wanted, damnit.

Eren was silent for a long time, pondering what to do. Finally, he spoke. “Come with me.”  


The two men followed Eren as he led him through the large house. Levi admired very much how the black gown Eren wore curved perfectly to his shape, teasing Levi with flashes of his perfect back and hips. It flowed so elegantly around him as he walked.

Finally, Eren approached a room and opened the door, allowing Erwin and Levi entry. It was lovely. A large and beautiful guest bedroom with two large and luxurious beds. The walls were a deep green to match the drapes and the sheets of the beds. Two large wardrobes sat across from the beds, and one nightstand between them.

“I hope this is alright. This is all that’s available.” Eren snapped Levi out of his thoughts as he talked. “Down the hall my family will be staying. I apologize if my young cousins are… Rambunctious.”

“It’s perfect, Eren.” Erwin smiled. “Thank you for your generosity.”

Eren nodded and excused himself to return to the visitation. He needed to be at his late husband’s side, after all.

“What a weasel you are, Erwin.” Levi remarked as he paced around the room, looking at every crevice. “It took us not thirty minutes to get her by carriage from the inn Hanji rented for us.”

“You and I know that, but Eren doesn't have to.” Erwin piqued. “After all, being in this home will allow us more time to spend with him and get closer. I think he’ll appreciate having his future husband at his side.”

“Why do you want me to tag along in this sick little game of yours?” Levi asked bluntly.  


“Because I want my oldest friend to see my happiness.” 

Levi said nothing. By the Walls, he needed more drinks to survive these next few days. Thought he couldn't deny how… Interesting things are becoming now. “I’m going back down. I want more drinks.”

With that Levi made his way back to the parlor. Erwin stayed behind for Ymir knows why. Either way, Levi found he cared less for when Erwin was at his side anymore as he was more intrigued at the beautiful emerald that danced in his vision.

Back in the parlor, Levi scanned the room and quickly found Eren next to the coffin. He was now sitting in a chair, looking exhausted, as if he struggled to stay awake. Still, Eren stayed by his late husband’s side like he was supposed to.

Against better judgement, Levi finished his wine, then grabbed a few more glasses, downing them fully before taking one final full glass of the amber liquid and approaching the mourning beauty.

“You know that you’re allowed to excuse yourself to retire for the evening when you’re that exhausted.” Eren looked up at Levi as he spoke. “With all that you’ve been though, I think you deserve to rest.”

Eren looked back down. “No, Sir. I will not rest. I cannot rest without my husband.”

“Playing the mournful spouse so dutifully, huh?” Levi remarked. It came across as cold, nothing he ever said was warm or kind.

Eren glanced up at him, almost glaring. “What are you implying? Of course I’m in mourning. I tragically lost my husband, after all. How do you expect me to react?”

“You can say that and fool everyone, but in the past few hours you have not shed one single tear.”

“All of my tears have dried up.” Eren looked away from Levi again. “I’ve spent the last several nights doing nothing but cry. Last several years of my life.” He added bitterly.

Oh? What was this breadcrumb of a hit Eren gifted him. Levi wanted to explore it. “Trouble in Paradise?”

Eren didn’t answer, went back to silently ignoring the world around him. Shit, Levi wanted to keep talking. Keep grabbing his attention. Whether it was his drunken haze or his intense lust talking, Levi lowered his hand holding the red wine to Eren.

“No.” Eren glanced at it then up at Levi. “I’m not foolish. I know not to take anything offered to me.”

“Fear some poison huh?” Levi asked. “If I drink some to prove to you I’ve put no poison in it, will you accept?”

“It is not poison I fear. Poison would be an escape. It’s the other things I fear.” Eren confessed, his vulnerability clung to him. “I know how they talk about me, I’ve heard the rumors, I will never escape the endless cycle of harassment.”

“Rumors? Really? What rumors, I’ve never heard them.”

“Liar.” Eren was back to showing Levi genuine emotion instead of that perfectly prepared mask. “I know why you’re here, the same reason everyone is here. And I want none of it! Not you, not Commander Smith, not anyone else!” The flashes of anger that churned the dark green waters of his eyes fell back to quiet sadness, real sadness. “Oh how I wish my mother in law allowed Reiner a private burial. I hate how she invited everyone in the country.”

“Well it’s like you said so yourself, you’re never going to escape the cycle.” Levi took a long swig of his drink. “So what are you going to do about it, hm?”  


Eren once again turned away from Levi. “I think I am going to stop speaking with you.”

“Oh buy why?” Levi moved around so he was directly in front of Eren, kneeling down to look up into emerald eyes, and a hand placed in his lap, gracing one of his thighs above the lace, effectively trapping him. “You’ve invited me into your home, no? As well as Erwin. I know it’s just because you can’t deny Commander Erwin Smith what he wants, but while we’re here, why don’t we get to know each other. This little talk of ours has been the most exciting moment in my life.”

The two sat in silence for a short while, as Eren looked Levi over several times, deciding how he was going to handle this. One of his gloved hands pushed Levi’s hands off his lap as he stood up. “Do not touch me.”

Levi was going to protest, keep their banter going, but he was cut off by four young children running through the parlor and over to them. “Eren!” The little brunette girl and blond boy yelled out as they ran over, tackling Eren in a hug.

“Gabi, Falco!” Eren dropped down to his knees to embrace the two first, then the other two as they arrived. “Zofia, Udo. You all came?”

“Of course we did, Eren!” The burnet girl--Gabi--beamed up at him. “We’re family, after all!”

A few more people who seemed to be with the group of kids came over and started idly chatting with Eren, who seemed far more relaxed and actually enjoying his time, as if he were with old friends and family.

Levi decided to step away at this time. He wasn’t good with kids. In fact, he hated them. He’d get his chance to speak with Eren more soon enough. After all, the night had only just begun.


	2. The Visitation Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens later that night, when all the guests are gone and it's just Eren trapped in a world he wants no part of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of past abuse, mentions of past rape, Rape.

The rest of the evening was as dull as Levi expected. All he did was drink the day away and watch from afar as Eren entertained his family. Eren’s mother and father, Reiner’s mother, her sibling who was the girl Gabi’s parent, the boy Falco and his older brother, and a very tall blond man with a beard who seemed overly protective of Eren. Levi thought he kind of looked like a monkey.

One by one, the guests filtered out of the home and soon enough, the large building was devoid of guests except for Eren’s family, of course, and Levi and Erwin.

Dinner time was fast approaching, but there was no nightly feast, as there was a large lunch buffet for the visitation earlier. Most everyone had eaten their fill of the delicious foods. Everyone except Eren, who Levi now understood feared for his safety. Not even when a relative would offer food or drink did he take it. He must have been very worried.

Eventually, Erwin emerged from wherever he was hiding to greet the Braun and Jaeger families, most of whom already seemed to know him.

“Well well well, if it isn’t the great Commander Erwin himself.” The blond monkey-looking man remarked. “To what to do we owe the pleasure.”

“Zeke Jaeger! Been a long time old friend.” Erwin acted friendly enough, though there was a strange tension between the tall men. “I came to celebrate the life of my dear soldier. and check up on his family. You know that I always try to be there for my soldiers and their families.”

“Mn-hm. So do you make a habit of trying to fuck every one of your soldiers widows, or just the hot ones?” Zeke spat back.

“Brother!” Eren hissed and gave Zeke a dirty look. “Do not speak such debauchery in my home, in front of my guests and family!”

“I apologize, Eren, but we all know it.” Zeke swirled a glass of whisky in his hand and took a sip, holding it out to Eren, who only shook his head in response. “We’re all thinking it, I’m just saying it.”

“Maybe you should learn to keep your mouth shut more often.” Eren rolled his eyes at Zeke before turning to Erwin. “I apologize for the impudence of my brother, Commander.”

“It’s fine, Eren.” Erwin walked close to him. “I completely agree with your brother. I’m worried about your safety as well.”

Eren looked like he didn’t believe Erwin’s words, but he was too intimidated by the commander. The commander who held Reiner’s pension.

“Thank you, commander.” Eren decided to stay as polite as he could, hoping that the commander would leave him alone soon enough.

The weight of the heavy day and the past week was getting Eren down, he already wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating. He knew he’d feel better if he only took care of himself, but he didn’t have energy for that anymore. He didn’t have energy at all anymore. After all, sleeping, drinking, eating, being alone, all meant danger.

“Hm, oh I know. Why don’t we all sit down and have a drink together?” Erwin offered. “Eren you look like you could use to relax.”

“A kind gesture, but I think I will have to pass. I hope that doesn't stop you from enjoying the rest of your evening.” Eren tried to walk past Erwin, but the taller man snatched his arm and held a tight grip on him.

“Oh, but that would interrupt my evening though.” Erwin bore down into Eren. “Now please join me. If only for a few moments.”

Eren looked for help from any of his family, but Zeke was too busy nursing on more whisky, and everyone else was distracted with their own conversations. Finally, Eren turned his gaze to Levi. Eyes silently pleading him for help. Levi pulled his glass of wine slightly away from his lips, thinking of allowing himself to be beckoned to Eren’s rescue. However he decided against it. Now wasn’t the right time to swoop in and play hero. Now was the time to watch the distressed damsel.

“No, please,” Eren quietly begged Erwin. “I’m tired and my week has been long enough. Just let me rest with my beloved.”

“You’re not allowing yourself rest.” Erwin’s harsh words froze Eren in place. “You’re clearly exhausted. Are you sleeping well? Eating well?”

Eren stayed silent, only watching Erwin intelty, like a snake caught in a trap and preparing to strike. “I am sleeping and eating just fine, thank you.” It was a lie and they both knew it.

“Let me escort you to bed.” Erwin offered as he snaked a hand around Eren’s waist, practically dragging him away. “I’ll inform your family that you’ve retired for the night.”

Eren wanted to protest, but there was no way he could fight Erwin. The older man allowed Eren to point him in the direction of his bedroom, Eren didn’t even notice how fast and easily he found it. And of course, Levi trailed behind, far enough to not be noticed, but close enough to know everything. He was always good at weaseling his way into places he shouldn’t be. And of course one of those places was going to be Eren’s bed.

Once the doors were closed and they were alone was when Eren started to feel nauseous. He hated being alone. Especially when it was with someone he didn’t trust, which seemed to be everyone these days. Commander Smith was safe, he trusted him. Right? Between the nausea, the exhaustion, the hunger, the grief, and the fear, Eren felt like he was going to pass out and die right then and there.

Erwin seemed to notice his distress too, as he was practically holding Eren up at this point. “Eren are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, I’m just tired.” Eren forced out, trying not to vomit as he talked. Erwin took the liberty of removing the veil from his hair, which irked Eren. He hated when others took off his clothes, no matter how small the article was and no matter who it was. Eren took the veil back from Erwin. “Please don’t do that ever again.”

“Hm? Why not? I just want to see more of your lovely face.” Erwin reached up to cup Eren’s cheek in his hand, only for Eren to pull away almost immediately.

“Stop. Stop it. Don’t touch me. I don’t like being touched.” Eren protested, shaking his head away to get his face out of Erwin’s grip.

“Strange, you didn’t seem to have a problem with me holding you earlier.” Erwin remarked. “And you especially didn’t have any issues with it four years ago.”

“I--” How was Eren supposed to explain anything to Erwin? He would never understand. Explain how things were different four years ago, explain how nauseous he gets when human body parts grace his clothed body, not to mention how it burned when skin touched him. How he had to act normal, pretend he was fine in moments he clearly never would be again, and no one could understand. “Commander, what is it that you want from me?”

“Oh nothing much, really. I just want to share a drink and catch up. It’s been four years after all.” The master bedroom Eren used to share with Reiner was exquisite, detected out in all the fine luxuries Reiner indulged in in life. Now it was an enormous prison, and Eren hated everything about it. Adjacent from the bed was a small living area, with a few sofas and chairs, an expensive coffee table in the middle, and a cabinet to hold fine crystals and bottles of wine. That’s where Erwin picked out two crystal glasses and an unopened bottle of wine and set them on the coffee table. “From what I can tell, you prefer red.” 

The dark red liquid swished in both glasses. “No, I don’t drink at all. My late husband drank red and I haven’t gotten rid of it.”

“Reiner,” Erwin started. “Drank beer and hard liquors. Never something classy like wine. But I seem to remember some of the nurses enjoying wine and fruity drinks.”

“That was a long time ago--”

“You’re just scared, aren’t you.” Erwin cut him off and looked deep into his green eyes. “Because of what happened, back then. I know. I see it all over you.”  


Eren felt shock run though him. “You knew?”

“How could I not know. The safety of my military is my highest priority. And you always made me nervous.” Erwin led Eren to sit on one of the sofas and sat next to him, grabbing a glass of wine and drinking it. “Your safety was always my top priority, but I couldn't be there for you when you needed me most. And for that, I have never forgiven myself.”

Eren shook it off and looked at the full glass of wine. Oh how good a sweet drink sounded, but he wouldn’t allow himself to drink something anyone poured for him. The only one he’d ever trust to prepare his food or drinks was Armin, and he was currently traveling for work. Oh how he missed his friends. 

“Eren, it’s safe to drink that.” Erwin picked up the glass and handed it to Eren. “Please, you deserve it.”

“Tempering, but I really must pass.” Eren set the glass back down and turned away.

“Why? It is just the two of us.” Erwin pulled Eren to look at him again. “Do you not trust me?”

“I hardly trust anyone these days. Not even my own family.” Eren shifted a little further away from Erwin. “I never can be too careful about who slipped what in anything.”

“Your paranoia is killing you.”

“My _paranoia _keeps me from getting hurt again!”__

____

____

“You can’t keep going on like this. Living in fear of one incident that happened four years ago.” Erwin was starting to get more aggressive than he intended, and he was scaring off Eren.

“I think we’re done here. Get out of my room.” Eren glared daggers at Erwin and got up from his spot on the sofa, only to instantly be pulled back down and pushed against the furniture.

“And I don’t think we are.” Erwin shifted his weight so that Eren was pinned underneath him to the sofa, this action only exacerbating his fears. “You have a choice Eren: either have a drink and a friendly chat with me, or I’ll force you to.”

“Stop. Stop it, please!” Eren felt the onset of a panic attack. “Please, I I’ll have a drink with you. You you don’t have to do this.”

To his surprise, Erwin let go of him immediately and smiled warmly, handing back the glass. “Good. I’m glad you came to your seances.”

Eren was trembling when he sat up, for the most part he could hide it, he was good at that. Especially with the black clothes. However, holding the wine glass and watching the red water bounce around was harder to hide. Not to mention he had to drink it.

Slowly and hesitantly, Eren pressed the rim of the glass to his lips and took a sip of the wine. He had forgotten how much he loved the taste of alcohol, as soon as he had that first sip, he slammed the rest of it and shivered. He missed alcohol. Erwin seemed to notice and poured him another glass. Against his better judgements, Eren downed that glass too. Only for Erwin to refill his cup again.

“My, been awhile since your last drink, eh?” Erwin chuckled as he noticed Eren already beginning to sway in his spot.

“Mn, yeah. It it’s been a little while.” Eren was already feeling horrible, on account of having not eaten in several days and downing so much alcohol so fast. Not to mention, he knew the danger he was in, and he couldn't fight it sober. “Um, commander, I I don’t mean to be rude, but but I think I would just like to go to bed now.”

Eren dropped the glass he was holding and spilled the red wine over the carpet. Not that he cared, he hated that carpet. What he did care about how unsteady he was on his feet as he made his way over to the closest to grab his night clothes. A black night robe was what he wore to bed. It had to be black. He was in mourning so everything he wore had to be in black. Eren hated the damn color. It reminded him of the darkness of the night and all that krept in it. Still, he had to honor his late husband. Now came the chore of getting out of the black mourning garments.

Eren had completely forgotten about the other in the room with him until a pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind as he tried to undo his gown. Frozen in place, Eren was terrified. Everything about this situation was completely wrong: drunk and weak in his former commander's arms. What was he to do? He had no idea.

“I…” Eren started but was immediately cut off by hot lips locked onto his own. Oh Goddesses above, this was the first time he’s ever kissed someone besides his husband. Tears welled in Eren’s eyes and rolled down his face. Eren managed to twist his face away from Erwin. “Don’t. Stop it. Get off me!”

Erwin only chuckled and helped undo the gown. “Try to relax dear Eren, I'm just helping you at where you’re struggling. This gown is quite the chore, isn’t it?” With a few more loose stings, the gown had fallen off Eren’s thin frame. He hadn’t realized how much weight he had lost. Somehow his disgusting frame wasn’t the worst part, that was awarded to the plethora of unhealed bruises and scars that were left behind from his previous marriage. Erwin seemed to notice too, as he ran a finger over a particularly large scar on the back of his neck. “What’re these?”

Now more angry than scared, Eren turned around and slapped Erwin right in the face. Using the momentary shock the slap sent through Erwin, Eren broke away from him and quickly pulled the gown back up over his body, and held it tightly to his chest.” How many times do I have to keep telling you to stop touching me and leave me alone! What do you even want from me?”

“What do you think I want, Eren?”

“I will not sleep with you! I am no whore!” Eren hissed and backed away as Erwin kept advancing on him, eventually hitting a wall.

“I don’t want to just sleep with you, I want you to marry me.” Somehow Erwin’s actual intentions were far worse to Eren. He didn’t want to remarry, especially right now, so soon after Reiner’s death.

Eren shook his head. “No. No, I will not marry you. I don’t think I want to remarry at all.”

“Your previous marriage was not a happy one, was it?” Erwin was now pressing Eren against the wall. “You do realize if you don’t get married soon, you will be harassed or worse. Everyone has flocked here for a chance to wed you.”

“I know…” Eren breathed out and looked off to the side at the floor. “But I don’t care. I am my own person, and I know what I want and don’t want. And I don’t want you. Now please, leave me alone.”

Rage filled Erwin. This little brat told the Commander of the scouts that he did not want him. That was unacceptable. More than unacceptable, it was criminal. The back of Erwin’s hand collided against Eren’s cheek, the fat ring he wore hitting cheekbone. Eren let out a loud yelp and reached up to cradle his face as the pain bloomed. 

Eren didn’t get a chance to confront Erwin about it for as soon as he opened his mouth to tell him off, Erwin’s own mouth was against his. He used the opportunity to slip his tong past Eren’s lips and explored the hot cavern. Tong running all over Eren’s teeth and tong, as far back in his throat as he could. Eren tried to push him away but the large hand that held his jaw open trapped Eren in place. The other hand wrestled with the undone clothes Eren was clinging to, yanking theme out of his grip and off his thin frame.

_No, _Eren thought. _Don’t look at me. Not like this. Not at all.___

_____ _

_____ _

Eren was shameful of his body, though deemed beautiful by everyone he met, he thought the exact opposite. Over his marriage, Reiner had made him ugly, let lots and scars and bruises paint his skin, and now Erwin of all people will see them, as well as his thin frame.

When Erwin broke away to breath, Eren tried to worm out of his grip but he was held down too tightly. “Stop this, please! I just want to live the rest of my life in peace, why won’t you let me do that?”

“You could live the rest of your life in peace, with me at your side.” Before he could protest Eren was pulled away from the wall and shoved down on the bed. His heavy body pining Eren in place on the side of the bed. The goddamned bed where he was brutalized every night for four years that he was then expected to then sleep in. The fucking bed he hated so mcuh. “Perhaps you need more than words to convince you.”

With Eren naked and pinned down against the bed, holding his wrists agitans his lower back with one hand, with the other Erwin wasted no time unbuckling his belt and pants, allowing his already dripping erection to spring free. Eren glanced back in fear, Erwin’s cock was bigger than Reiner’s, of course this was going to hurt. Eren tried to squirm out of Erwin’s grip, but it was no use, and the struggling only made the pain of Erwin’s cock being roughly shoved into him worse.

Eren screamed at the pain, the forced entry tearing open barely healed and sensitive scar tissue. Of course, Erwin seemed to enjoy the pain he caused Eren as he made his thrusts intentionally rough, deeply groaning with every harsh movement. One hand holding Eren’s arms down and the other holding his hips in a grip that was sure to leave bruises. Beneath him, Eren whined in agony, he hated sex, and this was why. It always hurt and never felt good, like it was supposed to.

Eren was feeling nauseous again from the feeling of blood and precum running down his thighs. He hated the feeling of cum inside him more than anything, but protection was a luxury he was never allowed. Erwin’s pace increased, and so did the painful thrusts. 

Between the painful sex, the blood and cum, the rancid smell, the sounds they made, and the memories of an unloving husband who though of Eren as nothing more than a prized possession he could fuck whenever he wanted, it was all overwhelming. Sobs wracked Eren’s body as the pain only got worse with Erwin’s cock tearing apart his insides. He missed the past few quiet nights where he was allowed to not be forced to have sex when he didn’t want it. Surely, a life with Erwin would be no different than it was with Reiner. He was just an object to be admired and used whenever his spouse saw fit.

Finally after what felt like too long, Erwin seized up with a loud and long groan as cum shot into Eren and filled him up completely with the most uncomfortable and disgusting feeling ever. Erwin panted heavily above him as the high of orgasm cooled down. Once satisfied, Erwin pulled out and watched with pride as blood and cum leaked out of his soon to be bride.

Erwin cleaned himself off and redid his pants and belt before helping Eren up. He didn’t clean Eren off, wanting to leave the disgusting juices of their act to cling to him, but he did find his night robe and help him dress into that.

Eren sat back and quietly allowed Erwin to work on him. He was too tired to fight him off and Erwin seemed far more content this way. Eren was still sweaty, eyes puffy and red, with dried tears stained his face and loose strands of his long hair clinging to his face. Erwin loved the look on him and used the opportunity to kiss him. 

Eren felt dirty. He wanted to go bathe and wash everything off till his skin turned raw and painful. However he was patient, he could wait until Erwin was gone. He didn’t want the man to see him bathe. So instead he allowed Erwin to peel back the duvet on the bed and lay him down, throwing the covers back on him.

Erwin was more gentle now, lovingly caressing his cheek where he landed a blow and caused a large bruise. “I hope you have some time to think over my offer and come to the right decision.” The tall man leaned down and placed a chaste kiss onto Eren’s lips before getting up and leaving the room.

Once he was gone, the room, the prison, was silent. Eren was exhausted and wanted to rest, but sleep never came to him. After he was sure Erwin had been gone long enough and it was safe to move, he got up and carefully and quietly limped over to the door. His paranoia taught him how to be stealthy. When he cracked open the door so carefully as to not make a sound, he looked down the hallway. Empty, but some of the rooms he could faintly detect quiet chatter. His family must be preparing for bed.

Willing himself out of the master bedroom, Eren slowly crept downstairs back to the parlor. The room was dark and empty, the only light that illuminated the room shone through the windows and landed perfectly upon Reiner’s coffin. Slowly Eren limped over to the coffin, the closer he got, the more weak his knees became and he fell to the ground next to the coffin.

“You bastard!” He whispered. “You promised you'd be my armor and protect me forever. You lied! You lied then and you lie now! You never once protected me, and you never will.

Eren folded his arms on top of the dark wood and rested his head in his arms. Tears for a dead man he didn't love and refused to shed now flowed out of him like a river. The sounds of his own sobbing and the trembling of his body made him fail to notice the man standing right behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! Woo! I want to just leave this for a little while and see if anyone either actually likes this fic. If you're pissed at the cliffhanger, please let me know in the comments! :)


	3. Memories of the Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Date-rape drugs, rape, abuse

The ocean waves crashed against rocks, they were tall, fierce, and deep green. Eren stood atop the cliff and watched the powerful waters below. It wasn’t often he was allowed to leave the walls of Paradise, but the ocean was one of the few places outside the country he was allowed to visit. And he loved it. There was not much he loved in life anymore, but the ocean was one of them.

The white sashes and lace of his wedding gown blew in the breeze and made him look as if he were flying. He was half tempted to chuck his bouquet out to sea, as he’d rather the one to have it was the deep green waters. Or maybe he’d throw his veil? Or the garter belt? No, unfortunately he was not allowed to gift the sea anything on his wedding day. Everything already belonged to someone else. The gown was his mothers, the diamond ring was from his mother in law, the veil was going to be passed down to his and Reiner’s future children, and the garter bet was now Reiner’s possession. Nothing was ever truly his.

“Eren!” Reiner called out, and before Eren could fully react, he was swept up off his feet by his husband. “Darling, don’t stand so close to the edge of that cliff, you’re making me nervous!”

“I’m sorry dear, I just love looking at the sea.” Eren smiled as Reiner lowered him to the ground a ways away from the clift edge. “Trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I hope not! I’d hate to lose my beautiful husband so soon!” Reiner couldn't help himself, he leaned down to kiss Eren, who in turn only chuckled.

“Shut up, you’re just trying to sweet talk me.”

“Maybe I am, am I not allowed to?” Reiner playfully asked, messing with Eren’s short, fluffy hair. He loved to mess with his hair.

“Hm, maybe. Maybe not, depends what I’m in the mood for.” Eren teased back, leaning into his husband's warm embrace. So strong, so protective like he promised. He was his knight in shining armor who saved his life, his shield to protect him to the day he died. In turn, only asking for unconditional love and comfort. That was their promise.

This was all still so new to Eren, he was only eighteen and he was already married. Expected to spend the rest of his life with Reiner as his loving and caring husband. It overwhelmed Eren, but he was comforted by the fact that reiner was wholly devoted to him and loved him dearly. 

“Hey,” Eren smiled and ran a hand over Reiner’s broad chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Eren.” Reiner leaned down to kiss him again, soft and sweet. Gentle and loving. Eren thought he could stay like this forever, in Reiner’s arms on the happiest day of his life. However, life got in his way, and before he knew it, he was tackled by Reiner’s young cousin, Gabi.

“Eren!” She cried as she hugged his leg, a warm welcome to the Baun family. Eren couldn't help but love her immediately. “So like, are you and Reiner going to live together now?”

“That’s the plan!” Eren said as he broke away from both Braun’s to sit in front of Gabi. “From now on, you’ll be seeing a lot more of me.”

“Well good!” Gabi proclaimed. “I want to see you and Reiner every day! Hey your veil is pretty, can I try it on?”

“Sure,” Eren removed the white veil from his head and placed it atop Gabi’s. “Let’s go find a mirror so you can see it!”

The two got up and ran to find a mirror, the wedding ceremony had just ended and people were wandering about, making their way to the reception hall where the wedding feast was soon to be held. Eren and Gabi made their way into the fancy building, where everything was still being prepared for the reception. They found in the dressing room Eren had gotten ready in, a large floor mirror for Gabi to admire herself in the veil. She gasped and spun around, proclaiming she was the most beautiful girl in the world.

Eren chuckled and allowed her to keep it when she asked. Not like he really needed it anymore anyways. Gabi soon ran off to play with her friends and show them the veil. Eren smiled and decided to go find Reiner again, however when he turned around he gasped and jumped back, as he was now face to face with Karina Braun, his mother in law.

“Ah, Lady Karina, how can I help you?” Eren asked nervously, he knew the woman didn’t like him.

“You cheap little whore, my son should never have picked you!” The old woman angrily spat in his face. Ah, here they go again. “My son is a man of honor and you are a courtesan of disgrace! Reiner should never have chosen you! Did you lure him to bed with your voluptuous ways? You make me sick!”

“Yeah, and I can’t say I enjoy your company either, Lady Karina.” Eren rolled his eyes and tried to keep calm, he had a bad temper that lit off easily and his new mother in law was definitely one of his triggers. “If you hate me so much you should talk to Reiner about it.”

“I tried! But he won’t listen!” Karina rambled on. “He’s too indoctrinated into your succubus spell he won’t see reason!”

“Back to calling me a devil, I see.” Eren wondered how some of Reiner’s family could be so nice, and then Karina so hateful. Supposedly, according to Colt, Reiner was a momma’s boy and Karina hadn’t gotten over that he had turned his worship from her to another. Eren. He couldn’t hate her for how she was, she couldn’t help it. That being said, Eren still hated dealing with her. 

Thankfully, his own mother, who shared the same temper he did, and had less of a reason to pretend to be polite. She barged in between and called Karina out for her rude behaviour. The two women got into an argument that Carla, Eren’s mother, won. She was far strong willed and had the strength to match. Eren was so thankful he took after the powerful woman that was his mother.

Soon Carla and her husband Grisha were able to talk with Eren. “Darling we are so proud of you!” Carla exclaimed as she hugged her son.

Eren held her close. “Thank you, Mother.” Carla smiled upon him, wishing him the most happiest of marriages to which Eren assured her he would have.

Time passed, faces faded in and out, drinks were poured, people partied. Eren was enjoying his night, his wedding party. The love he and Reiner shared was genuine, and everyone could see that clear as day. This was the happiest Eren has ever been.

Life itself is not a perfect thing, more of a balance of cruel and kind, if one could even call it a balance. As the night dragged on and the party continued, Eren began to notice just how much his husband was drinking. He knew Reiner loved his beers and liquors, sure, but this was a lot. Eren tried to ignore the nagging feelings and nurse his own wine.

The wine was red, bittersweet, just how Eren loved it. And it felt wonderful and the bloom of alcohol spread through his body and relaxed him. However it also made him drowsy and wanting to sleep. It was late evening and many people have already left. Eren was tired and decided it was appropriate to excuse himself for the night.

“Reiner, dear,” Eren gently shook his husband's arm, who in turn looked at him and mumbled a soft “Eh?” back. “I think I’m going to go to bed for the night. I’m very tired, but don’t let that keep you from enjoying your night.”

To his surprise, Reiner rejected his request, pulling Eren to sit in his lap instead. At first, Eren giggled and kissed his husband’s lips, thinking he was only playing around with him. “Reiner, love, you’re such a tease!”

Hot lips made their way onto Eren’s neck, only making him laugh more. “Stop it! You dirty dog, there are people around!”

“So? We are married after all.” Argued Reiner.

“Public.” Eren reminded him.

“So what? Give them all a free show.” For some reason what he said did not sit right with Eren. It was… Disgusting. 

“No.” This time Eren broke away and quickly ran out before Reiner could pull him back down. 

Reiner’s “locker room” talk always used to annoy Eren, but he didn’t think a whole lot else of it. Now, it was really bothering him. He suspects it had something to do with when he was attacked, but he didn’t know. Not to mention his excessive drinking. Maybe Eren was overthinking it. He was tired and tipsy. Time to just go to bed and sleep it off.

However as he made his way out of the ballroom, he remembered. Oh yeah, they’re out of the walls of their country. And Eren had no idea where they were staying for the night, not like they were just going to ride several days back home. Why did he agree to get married so far away from home again?  


He sighed and slumped against a wall, he was tired. A pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and startled him, looking up only to realize it was just Reiner, who broke away from his friends to find Eren.

“Hey,” Eren smiled and leaned into his embrace. Something was different now, Reiner didn’t respond to his words or affection at all. He was colder, quieter. Eren looked up at him. “Hon are you ok?”

“Why’d you leave me?” Reiner leaned in close and whispered into Eren’s ear, his hot breath on his skin made him twitch.

“I didn’t mean to leave you, I just want to rest is all.” Eren turned to face Reiner and smiled up at him, but the look he received was dark and foreboding.

“You didn’t do as I asked.” Reiner started advancing on Eren, making the smaller one nervously back himself into the wall. A large had reached out and slammed against the wall by Eren’s head, making him flinch. “From now on, you do as I say. Got it? Don’t you ever say no to me!”

“Ok, ok! I’m sorry, Reiner!” Eren pleaded, he was scared. Scared of someone he shouldn’t be. Should he?  


Reiner didn’t speak, instead he grabbed Eren’s arm and dragged him back to the ballroom. Eren felt dizzy all of a sudden, between the wine, the activity, and now his usually caring and loving husband's strange behaviour was messing with his head. It was all too much, he couldn't think. He could barely respond when talked to.

Finally, his brother, of all people, shook his amr hard enough to rouse him. “Eren,” A concerned look showed in Zeke’s eyes. “Did you hear what we said? Are you ok?”

“Hm? Oh yes I’m fine!” Somehow Eren was more awake, and now he realized he was standing nowhere near the door he had walked out, and Reiner was back at the head table, drinking and laughing with his friends, like he never even left. Did he? Did their interaction just now even happen? Was he imagining everything?

“Ah, I must either be losing it or I’ve had too much wine.” Eren laughed lightly as he scratched in his hair. He surely made that up, there was no way someone as loving as Reienr would act that way towards him. “Anyways I did miss what you were saying, what was it again?”

Zeke’s face relaxed into a smile when he affirmed his brother was ok. “That’s it, no more wine for you tonight! Anyways we were just wondering how you’re feeling, now that you’re married.”

“I’m fine. Great, actually.” Eren smiled. “This is the happiest day of my life.”

From his side, his mother started crying and pulled him into a big hug. “My baby’s all grown up!”

“Mother!” Eren’s cheeks heated up. “You’re embarrassing me!” The banter with his mother and with his family lasted a short while. 

Eren didn’t even remember when it ended, all of a sudden, he was in the middle of the dancefloor back in Reiner’s arms, slowly dancing with him. Now how did this happen?

Eren glanced around at everyone, faces streamed passed him so fast and blurry Eren didn’t recognize anyone. He was starting to feel nauseous and tired again. The slow song they were dancing to picked up speed and now Reiner ws pulling him at a breakneck pace that he could hardly keep up with. As soon as it had started, it stopped. Now Eren was sitting in a chair, all eyes on him, as Reiner, between his legs pulled off the garter belt with his teeth, his face pressed against Eren’s bare thigh for all to see. The humiliation of a normal wedding event that was so simple but so intimate was terrifying. He couldn’t breath. It was horrible. Why did they do that?!

Eren didn’t remember what happened next. When he came to some of his seances, he was in an unfamiliar room and was laying in an unknown bed. What happened? How did he get here? Where was Reiner? He wanted to get up to investigate, but he was so lethargic he couldn’t get up. Was it lethargy? He could barely move, as if his body was made of pure lead, and his mind was spinning. What was going on? Why did he feel like this?

Suddenly, Reiner was at his side. When did he get there? Eren wanted to speak but he found he couldn't open his mouth. Reiner was on top of him now--literally. His large body pressed giants Eren’s as he kissed his neck. Oh yeah, it was their wedding night. Eren forgot tonight they were expected to consummate their marriage, and Eren was extremely nervous about it, after all, his previous experiences with sex were not great. 

Suddenly, he started to feel nervous and sick. He tried to push Reiner away, to tell him to slow down, but he couldn’t move and he couldn’t speak. Before he realized it, Reiner was between his legs, underwear long discarded, fat cock pressed up against his backside. 

He only had vague memories of what happened next: Reiner above him, holding him down, panting. The moans. The sharp pain that shot up through his lower back and legs. Powerful hands bruising his thighs and waist. The blood running out of him. The squeaking of the bed. The way his body thrust into the mattress when being thrust into. The sickly feeling of seminal fluids filling him to the brim. The smell of sex. The way darkness filled his mind.

When Eren woke up he had a pounding headache and had a hard time remembering what happened that night. Why was that? Then the rest of the pain kicked in. A stabbing soreness bloomed in his lower back, hips, and thighs. It hurt a lot. When Eren was more awake he sat up and looked around. He only barely remembered ending up in this room with Reiner last night. 

Reiner. Where was he? Eren looked around and noticed their bags off to the side. He threw on an old hooded sweater and some jeans. Nothing too formal, the problem was how sore he was and how much it hurt to move. Not to mention his head was still pounding. 

That was when he conveniently remembered that Reiner kept a lot of pain pills on him from when he was injured in the war. Eren sighed in relief and searched around Reiner’s bag for his medication bag. He quickly found it and grabbed some acetaminophen for the pain, downing it quickly without any water. That was when another little bottle caught his eye. It was a vial. Last he knew Reiner wasn’t on morpheme, he was trying to stay away from the harder stuff as long as possible. And he couldn’t drink while taking them. Eren suspected that to be the real reason for his refusal.

Curiosity got the better of him and Eren picked up the vial to read it. 

Flunitrazepam (Rohypnol).

Eren’s blood ran cold as he stared down at the label. He was a nurse, he knew what that was. The only question was why. Why would Reiner have a date rape drug on him? Was he planning on sleeping around with as many people as possible at their wedding? No, that wasn’t it, and Eren knew that. His night was a haze. Last night after he had that wine Reiner bought for him, that was when he started feeling completely off. Reiner had drugged him. But that still raised the question: why? Why Eren? They were married after all, why drug Eren? Did he do something after Eren had passed out? He didn’t know. 

Anger got the better of Eren and he ran to immediately dump the evil liquid down the drain. He would confront Reiner about this.

It didn’t take too long for Reiner to show back up in the room. “Hey, you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I suppose.” Eren started. He was beginning to rethink this, maybe confronting Reiner wasn’t such a good idea after all. “I just… Yeah I’m ready.”

Eren turned to grab his bag, but Reiner noticed something wrong and stopped him. “What is it Eren. What’s wrong. You know I can always tell when something is wrong.”

Damnit, he was right. Eren sighed and decided that maybe he could approach this calmly. “Reiner, why do you have Rohypnol?” Eren held up the empty vial.  


Reiner immediately paled, his blood running cold. He didn’t answer, so Eren continued. “What happened last night? I hardly remember anything after you have me that wine. Did you… Did you put Rohypnol in my drink?”

Reiner was still silent for a short while before he decided to speak. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I wouldn’t understand what?” Oh no, Eren was starting to let his temper take over. “I’m your husband! You don’t have to drug me! Why would you even think about doing that? We’re married! We’re supposed to have a relationship built on trust, right? How can we if you start out our marriage like this?”

Eren held the empty drug vial in Reiner’s face, a desperate plea in his eyes. Reiner groaned and snatched the vial from him. “I already told you, you wouldn’t understand.” He looked down at the vial and realized it was empty. “What? Did you dump it?”

“Yes!” Eren yelled out. “I don’t want my husband carrying around any damn date rape drugs!”

Before Eren could argue further, a fast fist slammed into the side of his jaw, he stumbled back and landed on the floor. Great, more pain! “What the hell, Reiner!”

Reiner leaned down and grabbed Eren by the neck. A large hand closed over his windpipe and Eren couldn’t breath, he pounded on Reiner silently begging for him to let go. Soon he was feeling light headed, his hand dropping from Reiner’s arm.

Reiner gave in and dropped him, Eren gasped for the first breaths of life that returned. Gasping and coughing, he held his throat and groaned. Reiner was suddenly pulling him back up to his feet. 

“You little bitch, I told you last night didn’t I?” Reiner hissed and threw Eren down on the bed. “You never say no to me. I own you!”  


Reiner ripped Eren;s pants back off and got on top of him again, this time, Eren was completely awake as Reiner thrust his cock into his backside. Loud screams echoed off the walls. Reiner was not kind, or gentle. He was not loving or caring. What he was was cruel and ruthless. Evil and painful. Eren sobbed as the motions of the thrusts into the mattress made him feel nauseous. It was a slow, throbbing shake.

His life with Reiner wasn’t the beginning of a dream come true, it was the start of a never ending nightmare… 

There he lay, the slow stiff motions of his limp body being thrust into the mattress. A distant voice calling out his name.

_Eren… ___

____

____

_Eren…! ___

____

____

_EREN! ___

____

____

His eyes shot open, around him were the worried faces of his family. His mother, father, and older brother at the edge of the bed. Gabi, Falco, Udo, and Zofia on the large mattress at his other side. His grandparents, Karina, and Colt off to the side. All watching intently at the widow laying in a sleep so tight it could have been death itself, on the morning of his husband’s funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again, just as soon as I promised! I hope everyone who even reads this enjoyed this chapter! I know it's probably not quite what you expected, but don't worry! All those questions will have answers coming up here shortly! Gotta keep you coming back to read this somehow! Also: sorry for no Levi in this chapter! I promise he'll return in the next! :)


	4. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of past abuse, mentions of past rape, unhealthy relationships.

Eren groaned lowly and slowly sat up. When had he gone to bed? The last thing he remembered was going down to the parlor and crying over Reiner’s coffin. Did he fall asleep? If he did, how did he get back to bed? So many questions flooded his mind.

“You’re awake!” Gabi exclaimed. “No matter how hard we shook you or how loud we called your name, you wouldn’t wake up!”

“We were worried you had died!” Falco added.

“I’m fine,” Eren assured them, pulling the two into a warm hug. “I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

The children bought the kind promises Eren gave them. It was the adults that he’d have a harder time convincing. His family, to whom he couldn't hide his pain from. 

His father, who used to come over in the middle of the night to treat his infected scars. His mother, who he cried to every day about his misery. His brother, who was one of the only people Reiner had still allowed into his life. His grandparents, who he tried to keep out of his drama, but who always knew something was wrong. Colt, who was once one of Reiners best friends and the first to notice his pain. Karina, who still openly hated him and revealed in the abuse he suffered. She would even help Reiner find new ways to torture Eren. One particularly awful night involving Reiner using a burning iron rod on Eren after he said no to sex was credited to her.

“Darling are you feeling ok?” Carla tried asking Eren as he got out of bed. He was stiff and sore from last night, but his family didn’t need to know that. Of course that didn’t stop them from catching on. “Honey you’re bleeding.” Carla pointed to the blood running down Eren’s legs and pooling at his feet.

“I’m fine, Mother.”

“Hey Eren, how’d you get that big bruise on your cheek?” Zofia innocently asked.

“Oh I fell and bumped my head last night as I was getting ready for bed.” A go-to bullshit excuse Eren has been using for years that absolutely no one, not even the kids, bought.

“Are you well?” Grisha asked. “If you’re not feeling well enough for the funeral today, we can work something out.”

Before Eren could respond, Karina butt in. “Absolutely not! We will not just ‘work something out’ on the day of my son's funeral because the ungrateful brat he married is ‘feeling a little down.’ No, Eren you are Reiner’s husband until he is laid to rest and you must honor him and be at his side until then!”

Oh how Eren had grown to truly hate the woman he called his mother in law. He wanted to throw her out of the house. Especially the time she fell ill, and Reiner had Eren treat her. Even as he nursed her back to health she still bitched and moaned about him. He was always entertaining the idea of putting poison in her medicine. He never did, as the punishment from Reinr would have been far worse.

Between the pain, the headache, the weight of his past, and his family's prying eyes Eren lost control of a bit of his temper. “By the Walls, Karina, I want you out of my bedroom.”

“Absolutely not!” Karina spat back. “I am Reiner’s mother which means I have a say in his life! Afterall, he will not let you throw me out--”

Karina realized instantly what she was saying, so did Eren. In the past he could never throw her out because Reiner wouldn’t let him. Well now, Reiner was dead and Eren was the master of that house. A small spark of pride and confidence filled Eren.

“Well Reiner isn’t here anymore, Karina.” Eren said darkly, eyes giving Karina a harsh stare. “It’s just me. And I can do what I want. And I want you out of this room!”

Karina was about to argue back, but Eren’s Grandfather grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the door, throwing her out. And that was it. He did it. He threw out his mother in law and didn’t get a beating afterwards. A small chuckle that developed into a harsh laugh erupted from him, which of course only made his family look at him with concern. 

“Brother are you ok?” Zeke reached out and gently touched his shoulder, he couldn't see Eren's face as his long hair veiled it from his view. His eyes went wide when Eren turned to him. A small smile upon his lips. This was the first genuine smile from Eren in four years.

“I’m fine, Brother. For the first time in a while I’m actually fine.”

The small moment of happiness was short lived as reality set in and he had overslept on the morning of his husband's funeral. Now he had to get dressed and actually go downstairs. In the very least, it was close to being over. Soon Reiner would be nothing but a bad memory. A nightmare. Then his next nightmare would start with Erwin.

Erwin… 

He really didn’t want to get married to Erwin. Especially not so soon after being freed from the shackles of his previous marriage. However he knew the consequences of saying no would be great, and he didn’t want to face them.

Everyone but his parents and his brother left the room and allowed Eren to get cleaned up and dressed for the day. Grisha helped treat his wounds. Carla didn’t stop asking questions about who hurt him, all of which Eren refused to answer.

Zeke helped him get dressed into the funeral gown, which was somehow more complicated than the ones he’s been wearing. Of course during the funeral ceremony he’d be forced to be as uncomfortable as possible. It was going to be a long day.

His moments of peace and privacy came to an end as he walked back downstairs and looked around. No guests other than those who were staying in his house were there. And of course, he was greeted right away by Erwin.

“Good morning, Eren.” Erwin crossed over from where he was standing to talk to him. “Did you sleep well?”

“Ah, fine.” Eren turned away from him. He didn’t want to look into his eyes. Instead he looked into a pair of pale silver eyes off to the side.

Eren and Levi held each other's gaze for a short while before Erwin grabbed back Eren’s attention. He reached out and pulled his face to look up at him.

“Have you thought about my proposal?”

“I…” Eren was floored. His head was spinning. Between Reiner, his family, Erwin, the new mysterious man Levi, he couldn’t think. “Not not yet. I just want to think about my husband’s funeral first.”

Eren pushed aside and made his way back over to Reiner’s coffin. At his side, where he belonged. He hated having to be the statue he was for Reiner. Even in death, Reiner controlled his life.

“Grief doesn’t suit you,” A voice for the side caught Eren’s attention, it was Levi. “That mournful look you wear drains the life from your face.”

“It’s supposed to,” Eren replied, wanting to look away from Levi but being unable to. “After all, my heart will be buried with him today.”

Levi snorted. “Fragments of a shattered heart maybe.”

“Why must you taunt me?” Eren was beginning to get annoyed with Levi’s antics.

“I mean not to taunt you.” Levi turned his body and stepped closer to him. “What I mean is you may think of yourself as a walking corpse, but I see a vibrant life behind your eyes.”

Eren stepped back. “You sweet nothings will not charm me.”

“Didn’t say they had to.” Levi yawned. “So are you thinking of marrying Erwin?”

“I don’t want to but I know I have to.” Eren’s stomach growled at him, he was hungry, and he hoped Levi didn’t hear but he most likely did. “Commander Smith holds Reiner’s pension after all, and I haven’t worked in four years, so I have no money.”

“But will that make you happy?” Levi asked earnestly.

“No,” Eren answered. “I don’t think it will. But there is nothing I can do about it.

“That’s not true.” Levi grinned. “You were a nurse, right? Why not go back to work. I understand that you didn’t work before because of Reiner, but he’s gone now.”

“I was thinking about that,” For some reason, the more he talked with Levi the more comfortable he was. Something about the raven haired man didn’t frighten him as much as the rest of the world did. “My father owns a clinic around here. I wonder if I could go back to work there. Not to mention I absolutely hate this house. I want to sell it and move to a smaller, simpler place. Afterall we, I, still owe an enormous debt, and this house is one of the reasons why.”

“Did Reiner acquire a lot of debt?” Levi asked. The more they talked, the more relaxed Eren became, he even didn’t even flinch or back away again when Levi inched closer and closer.

“Yes he did.” Eren breathed out. “He liked to live a life of luxury, so he bought the most expensive of everything, even though we couldn't afford it. Throw a love for gambling in the mix and I’m now in quite a lot of debt. I doubt I’ll ever pay it off.”

“Do you need help paying it off?” What was he saying? Was he really going to offer paying off Eren’s debts? “I have money, I could help you.”

Eren laughed and shook his head. “No, Sir, you don’t have to do that. It’ll just be transferring one debt to the next.”

“Who said I wanted you to be in debt to me?”

“I’m not stupid, I know that everone wants me to owe them something.” Eren sighed. “They would buy my debt and wipe it all away for the chance to collect one thing from me.”

A silence fell between them. Eren pondered what he was going to do next. He liked the idea of going back to work, liked the idea of selling the house and everything expensive in it, liked the idea of maybe moving in with his parents for a short while. He liked the idea of using his earnings, what he got from selling off, and even using Reiner’s pension to pay off his debt. Then maybe, if life was kind enough he’d move into a small apartment or condo. The thought of such a simple life almost brought a smile to his lips.

However his world came crashing down with reality. His debts were enormous and he’d never see enough money to pay it off, the house and everything in it were probably barely worth anything, and Erwin would most likely cut off Reiner’s pension to put extra pressure on marrying him. Oh that's right, he was going to have to get married again.

The moments of temporary happiness were dashed away. He would never be happy again and he knew it. He shook his head and told Levi. “No matter what I do I will just lose in the end. My money, my safety, my freedom, my body.”

“Who says you’ll lose all that?” Levi was still listening carefully. “You could be free.”

A quiet but harsh laugh bubbled in his chest, and without thinking, Eren placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder and leaned in close, his hot breath on his ear. “I will never be free, and I will never be happy again.”

Levi wanted to pull Eren into a tight embrace and never let go of him again. He even managed to carefully wrap an arm around his waist and pull in closer, their faces only inches from each other. Oh how Levi could lean in and kiss those perfect lips. Eren looked like he almost seemed to be thinking the same thing. The two slowly moved their faces closer to each other, and were just about to close the gap between them, but were interrupted by the sounds of people talking and entering the room.

Eren quickly pulled away from Levi, it would be improper to see the widow already trying to kiss another man. The priest who was to perform the ceremony, Pastor Nick, had entered wearing his funeral robes and greeted Eren.

“Pastor Nick, thank you for coming.” Eren shook his hand and bowed his head. 

“Of course, Mister Braun,” Pastor Nick placed a soft kiss on Eren’s gloved hand as he walked in.

The maids and butlers were busy setting up seats and the pulpit for everyone. More attendees of the funeral came, people filed in and took their seats. Eren sat at the very front, with his parents and mother in law on one side, and Erwin stealing the seat to his other side, and Levi next to him.

Pastor Nick started the service and everyone fell quiet. Occasional sounds of people shuffling around in their seats, and crying from Karina Braun and Reiner’s old military friends were all that were heard over the pastors words.

Erwin reached out and placed a hand in Eren’s lap and leaned in close to whisper: “How soon do we wait till we announce our engagement?”

“Have you no decency?” Eren hissed quietly. “My husband is not even in the ground yet!”

“I understand but I want to waste no time.” Erwin grabbed one of Eren’s gloved hands and gave him a soft squeeze. “I’m ready to take you away from this nightmare.”

“You bring me to my next.” Eren reached up and rubbed his bruised cheek. It was swollen and puffy now, burning red surrounding a big black mark. “You hurt me last night.”

“You needed some convincing.”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”Eren turned to look at Erwin but he locked eyes with Levi instead. The raven haired man was listening to everything they spoke of.

Silence fell upon them and Eren turned back to face the pulpit. He wanted this ceremony to be over. He was still tired, still hungry, and still hurting.

Carla reached out and pulled Eren close to her chest, to which he graciously accepted. In the comfort of his mothers arms like a scared child, he felt weak and vulnerable, but his family had never once judged him or hurt him. 

When he told his parents about how Reiner treated him, they were at his every beck and call when he needed them. Whether it was broken bones or the hemorrhaging, they were always there for him. Reiner hated it, wanted them gone and out of their private life, but he did need someone to treat Eren when he beat him up too badly. After all, the one time Grisha had attempted to stand up to Reiner on behalf of his son, Reiner threatened to kill Eren. Fearing for his son’s life, Grisha kept his mouth shut. 

Zeke had also wormed his way into their business, as he happened to be Reiner’s direct superior officer. From day one when Eren entered a relationship with Reiner he hated it. Tried to break them up and convince Eren to find someone else. Eren was blined at the time, and he told Zeke every day how he wished he listened to him, but Zeke never judged him. He decided to move close by so that if Eren ever did decide to run away, he could flee to Zeke.  


The service lasted an hour before it was finally over, and Reiner’s best friends from the army carried the coffin out to the wagon that was the hearse. The cemetery wasn’t too far, and those who wanted to be present for the actual burial walked there. Finally, Eren’s husband was going to be laid to rest into the earth, to never bother him again.

The burial was another hour, but the crowd was only the Braun family, the Jaeger family, and a few friends.

Once lowered into the ground, Eren was offered to be the first to throw a handful of soil on top of the coffin. He accepted, and with the dirt that scattered and fell on the dark wood, Eren imagined it was his heart.

It was finally over.

Eren wanted to close his eyes and pass out right then and there, but his parents pulled him away and started to lead him back to his house. As he approached the walls of his prison, the conversation with Levi rang fresh in his mind. Once they read the will and Eren is settled with all he has, he would start to work immediately on rebuilding his life. Or he would, if Erwin still wasn’t hanging around him.

Eren turned to Grisha. “Father, I want to go back to work.”

“Really? I’d be happy to have you at the clinic with me.” Grisha smiled and gave Carla a hopeful look, who also smiled widely. They were unaware of Erwin, and excited to get Eren back on his feet. Back to the wild fire of passion he used to be, that everyone loved so much.

Seeing his parents smile made Eren smile too as he held onto them. It’s best for him to reject Erwin and live his life on his own, how he deserves. He would rebuild himself, and slowly let his personality return.

When they approached the front door, Eren saw Levi smoking a cigarette outside. The smell of the nicotine was strong and gave Eren a headache. Levi offered him a drag, to which he refused. His head was starting to hurt more. Why? 

Flashes of the previous night and Levi’s face illuminated by the pale moonlight danced in his head. That’s right: he had been there last night. What happened? He could only remember vaguely of his interactions with Levi, but from what he did recall, the man never touched him and instead was the one to make it to bed safely.  


Eren smiled softly at Levi. He couldn't speak to him, but he did smile. Somehow, he felt more warm towards the stranger. Though Levi’s intentions were probably not pure, the man never acted upon them. Instead he sat back and waited for Eren to come to him.

“Go in ahead of me,” Eren broke away from his parents. “I’ll be in in just a moment.”

His parents seemed unsure at first, but Eren reassured them that he was fine. When they were gone, he approached Levi.

Eren was silent for a short moment. “I think I remember talking to you last night.”

“We talked once or twice.” Levi blew out smoke and glanced away.

“I mean after the visitation.” Eren stepped in front of his view. “Late in the evening, in the parlor, alone. That was you, was it not?”

“Yes,” Levi admitted. “You were pretty tipsy and exhausted.”

“What happened?”

“I found you crying over the coffin,” Lev snuffed out his cigarette and tossed it aside. “I asked if you were ok, you got angry at me, we talked for a bit, and you went to bed.”

“What else happened? What did we talk about?”

“You were upset because Erwin raped you.” Eren felt cold and stiff. “You told me about it and you cried in my arms for a bit.”

Eren groaned and rubbed his face. How embarrassing. “Did you take your turn with me?” Eren asked bitterly.

“No, I did not.” Levi answered, and it was the truth. He thought about taking Eren then and there, but that would only drive him away.

No. What Levi was going to do was he was going to let Erwin’s forcefulness drive Eren away and into the comforting arms of Levi. He would grow to care for Levi on his own, and then maybe, they could find a life together. Admittedly, the thought of a dull married life used to bore Levi, but he had a feeling now that he would never be bored of Eren. That Eren was the only cure to his dull and colorless life.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Eren said in a light voice. “I do not trust you.”

“I don’t expect you to trust me.” Levi grinned back, the two of them were slowly becoming more comfortable with one another. “And we did nothing last night. Believe that if you will or don’t.” Levi was the one to walk away. “See you around, Eren.”

Eren wanted to question Levi more, but he decided to let it go for now. He made his way back inside, there were few guests left. Not that it really mattered who was and was not there. It was time for the reading of the will.

Eren prayed that Reiner had some type of fund that he left for Eren, but he was doubtful. He was never allowed to look at their finances. The one time he did dare to sneak around and look at Reiner’s check book, when he got caught he was chained to the bed for a few days until he learned his lesson to not snoop around where he didn’t belong.

Eren went over to Darious Zakley, Reiner’s lawyer. Zakley was ready to read the will, To Eren’s annoyance, Karina was there with him and she wore a smug smile on her face that Eren didn’t trust.

“Well,” Zakley started out as he looked though the will. “So, I have some bad news for you Mister Braun.”

“Well what is it?” Eren needed to know what was wrong.

“So, all of your late husband's pension, he willed to be left to his mother. As well as all of the possessions. The house, his retirement funds, everything was left to Karina Braun.” Zakley started and Eren felt his blood run cold. “But that’s not all,” Zakely continued, as if this could get any worse. “All of the money Reiner had borrowed, he borrowed in your name.”

As if Eren’s life wasn’t horrible enough, Reiner had to find a way to fuck Eren over even in his grave. “So you’re telling me I’m inheriting all of Reiner’s debts and nothing else as Karina is getting my house and all of my late husband’s money?”

“Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do.” Zakley apologized and made his leave, he was going to bill Karina, but that bill was most likely going to be Eren’s problem.  


This was it. Eren had truly lost everything in his life. As if he hadn’t suffered enough, Karina’s smiling face and cruel giggles caught his attention. The grief he felt fueled a blind rage.

“You bitch! How dare you!” Eren shouted at her and everyone turned to watch. “How fucking dare you! As if you haven’t ruined my life enough!”

“You ruined my son’s life!” Karina fired back.

“He ruined my life!” Hot tears slid down Eren’s cheeks, the pressure of everything in his miserable life crashing down upon him.  


Eren wanted to beat Karina, but he was not Reiner. The old woman glared down at her son in law. “Pack your bags. I want you out of my house before the sun sets." She was clearly enjoying the payback from earlier. 

By now Carla, Grisha, and his grandparents had all surrounded Karina and were fighting with her about how much of a horrible woman she truly was. Even twelve year old Gabi shouted obscenities at her, as Gabi truly loved Eren and hated how her aunt treated him.

Eren hated having to have his family pick up after him time and time again, but they did, and there was nothing he could do. At least he had a loving family. That was his only saving grace in life.

Footsteps approached Eren and he froze in place as Erwin leaned down close to him and whispered in his ear. “I can cut off Reiner’s pension, that horrid woman won’t get a cent. I just ask one thing of you.”

The room fell silent and all eyes were at the center as Erwin dropped to one knee and held one of Eren’s hands in his. “Eren Braun, I know we only just buried your late husband, but I love you. Will you do me the honor and give me your hand in marriage?”

No one spoke a word, all waiting on Eren’s reply. His green eyes looked up and searched for Levi’s silver orbs. Green locked on silver. A silent conversation passed between them.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo this chapter was uh, intense! Karina hate squad, anyone? As always I really hope you enjoyed. Though part of me kind of wants to turn this into some type of Omegaverse... Anyone wanna see that? No? Just leave your comment if you wanna see that or not. Anyways, thank you for reading and I hope to get the next chapter out soon... Ish. Might be a few more days than normal.


	5. Loss and Lust

The bumps from the carriage as it rolled down the cobblestone roads shook the three of them where they sat. Erwin with his arms firmly around Eren, Eren who sat in his lap and rested his head on his chest, and Levi adjacent from them, pretending to stare out the window, but in truth his eyes were locked onto Eren’s green orbs the whole time.

They’d been traveling for four days now as they made their way to the interior of Wall Sina. They were close to reaching the capital where Erwin and Levi lived. Eren had never been to the interior before. He’d been a military medic, which meant he spent his whole life at the outermost walls or outside the walls during the war time.  


Eren groaned slowly and shifted in Erwin’s arms to try and get more comfortable. Erwin took notice and rubbed his side. “Tired, love?”

“Just a bit sleepy from everything that has happened in such a short amount of time.” Eren answered and nuzzled his face into Erwin’s neck, eraring a soft chuckle. 

“What about you? Are you not tired?”

“I’m fine, Eren.” Erwin was content with how obedient Eren was, especially after the fight that broke out between his family after their engagement. “Are you sure you’re holding up ok?”

Eren gave a little “Mn-hm” so Erwin decided not to push it too far, he was just happy how calm Eren was on his lap. Erwin decided to run a hand through his hair, it was softer than silk. He could almost drown in it.

Thoughts of ravishing his pretty little gem came to a halt when the carriage did. They must be stopping at the gate to the capital city, so Erwin had to get out to show his papers. Unwillingly moving his fiancee off his lap, Erwin got out to deal with the gate guard.

As soon as the door closed, Eren rushed into Levi’s arms and slammed their lips together. They didn’t have much time, so Levi ferociously returned the kiss and held Eren close. They knew what they were doing was wrong, but together they felt so right.

Levi, who was bored of life and loved nothing. Eren, with no heart left to love and a future of endless sadness ahead of him. Together they gave each other what they needed. Levi gave Eren a promise, and Eren gave Levi emotions he'd never had before. Now, the only thing to do was to keep moving forward.

Eren quickly broke away when they heard Erwin’s voice outside getting closer. The tall blond opened the door and made his way back over to Eren, who greeted him with open arms, to which Erwin immediately melted into.

Strong arms wrapped protectively around Eren’s thin frame and held him close to Erwin’s broad body. Eren leaned into the embrace, though he couldn’t deny he’d rather be in the arms of the raven man sitting next to them. 

As they entered the capital, Eren watched outside the window. The big city was nothing he was used to, and being in such a forgin place made him very nervous. Of course, that’s what Erwin wanted.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” The blond man asked and thumbed Eren’s waist. “The capital city is magnificent. In the very center is the royal family themselves. As the commander, I live only a stone's throw away from the palace. You’ll be able to see it every day. In fact, Levi’s uncle actually works directly for the royal family.”

“He’s the King’s personal bodyguard.” Levi clicked his tongue. “My mother died when I was young, and ever since I lived with my uncle in that palace. Grew up with the Reiss children. The king himself is actually a very nice man, I find I like him quite a bit. It’s his older brother who’s a pain in the ass.”

Eren hung onto every word Levi said, he couldn't believe Levi actually knew King Reiss personally. “So are you training to be the next personal bodyguard for the Reiss family? You must be filthy rich then! What’re the Reiss kids like? Why is the brother of the king a pain?”

Erwin laughed at the excitement Eren showed as he showered Levi in questions about the royal family. This was the first time in a long time he’d see Eren so energetic. It was almost as if he was back to his old self.

“Why bother asking. Why don’t you just meet them yourself?” Erwin asked.

“Pardon?” Eren looked up at Erwin surprised. “Me, actually meeting the royal family? What’re you talking about?”

“Well I am the commander of the scouts.” Erwin started. “So of course I work closely with the king. In fact, he’ll be at our wedding.”

Eren went quiet. He had forgotten that he was still to be wed to someone he did not love. His gaze turned to Levi, who still hadn’t answered his questions.

What was he supposed to say? Levi was not trained like his uncle was. Hell, He’d never even been in the military before, and didn’t plan on joining. Something about the stare he received from those green eyes told him that maybe he should join in on his uncle’s work, instead of just living off his money.

“I plan to train under my uncle as the next bodyguard, yes.” Levi admitted and grinned. Eren had a look of excitement, and Erwin looked shocked at his words. He never expected Levi to actually ever want to work! “I haven’t started my training yet because I’ve had no motivation, but now that we’re home I think I will start.”

His uncle, Kenny. had offered many times and even tried to force Levi to do something with his life before, but Levi was never responsive to it. Never had motivation or a reason to work. Now he found a reason: he was going to rescue Eren.

A smirk passed his lips as he thought about going over to Kenny right away and asking him to help with his training. He would be shocked, but delighted.

Eren seemed to catch on that Levi was going to be his bodyguard, and he let out a small smile. It was a good sight to see, a smile on Eren’s face. Erwin however, was the one to look more suspicious, even calling Levi out.

“Levi, you never once in your life ever wanted to actually work.” Erwin pointed out, he eyed Levi with an intrigued and untrusting gaze. “Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“Boredom.” Levi grinned. “The same reason I do anything.”

“You nobility really have an interesting way of life.” Eren remarked and went back to looking out the window. “I would love to work again. I used to love my job, but when I got married to Reienr, he forbade me from working outside of the house.” Eren turned to Erwin. “Can I go back to work?”

Erwin grinned. He had plans for Eren. Big plans. And they did involve a type of “work” so to speak. He could humor Eren for now. “Of course you can go back to work. I’d be happy to see you return.”

Soon enough, the carriage stopped and the three stepped out, Eren marveled at the giant buildings around that made up the royal aristocracy. And now he was entering that world? Reiner had only spent money to make them look wealthy, they were actually dirt poor. And of course he left all the debt to Eren. Which was now wiped away thanks to Erwin. As for Reiner’s pension, Erwin cut it off. Karina won’t get a cent of what Reiner intended to screw over Eren with. A part of him felt cathartic at that.

Erwin placed his hands on Eren’s shoulder’s and leaned close. “What do you think of your new home?”  


“It’s… A lot.” Eren answered bluntly as Erwin led him past the huge front doors. From one prison to the next. And to think, just a few days his life was so much more different…

***

There was silence in the room for a long time. A calm before the storm. Suddenly, there was loud arguing. Hands flying, people swarming, yelling and shouting. 

“Absolutely not!” Carla shouted and ripped Eren out of Erwin’s grip. “You are not getting remarried so soon, especially after a marriage as horrible as yours! What about wanting to go back to work?”

“Get your hands off my son, you bastard!” Grisha got between Eren and Erwin and shoved Erwin back. “I don’t care if you’re a commander, you are not taking Eren away! Hasn’t he suffered enough?”

“I knew it! I knew it!” Shouted Zeke. He slammed a full glass of whisky and chucked it against the ground shattering the glass. “I fucking new it! You sick fuck you’ve had your eye on my little brother for years!”

“Are we really going to argue about this now, Zeke?” Erwin barked back, he was about to get into a fist fight with him.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Krina came charging at Eren with a letter opener. “You damned Succubus, how dare you steal my son away from me then have the audacity to lure another man in with your spell!”

Before the weapon could land in Eren’s belly, where she had striked, Levi got in the way and grabbed her arm with a forceful grip. “Absolutely not, we’re not having another funeral.”

Eren gawked at Levi. The man saved him, and wasn’t even asking for anything in return. Their eyes met again and Eren felt his face heat up, Levi gave him back a smirk. The short man’s attention refocused on Karina and he ripped the weapon out from her grip and held onto it for safekeeping. 

Karina wanted to scream at him but the slap that came from Carla retook her attention. “You heartless bitch! I don’t care if your baby is dead, you will not take mine away from me!” Carla glanced back at Erwin. “And neither will you!”

“Mother stop it!” Eren snapped back to reality when he heard Carla's tone towards Erwin. “I know it may not seem like it now, but we’ve been talking about this for a few days now.” Eren shot a pleading look to Levi then to Erwin. “We really do think it’s best I get remarried. And to Commander Smith. Don’t you see what an honor it is?”

Eren felt like he wanted to vomit. What was he saying? He hated Erwin after what he forced Eren to do the previous night, but he couldn’t reject Erwin and he knew it. However, he could use Erwin. 

That’s what he’s going to do. This world is a cruel place, and it has been nothing but unkind to Eren. And it taught him how to live without a heart. He had escaped one horrible marriage, he would escape another. 

“Eren, you can’t be serious!” Grisha looked like he was close to ripping his own hair out. “No. No we won’t let you do this! Your mother and I were already planning on taking you in back home, we’ll help you pay off Reiner’s debts.”

“Father, the debt is enormous. There’s no way any of us would be able to pay it off.” Eren pulled Grisha close and kissed his cheek. “I promise, this is what’s for the best. I’ll be fine.”

No one believed when Eren said he was fine anymore, and they were not about to start, especially after something so serious. This time, he was. He was going to make it, whether anyone believed him or not. 

“I should get packing,” Eren broke away. “Karina did say I had until sundown to get out.”

The family had stopped fighting, they knew it was futile to try and argue now. Eren and his family moved to pack his bags, the only thing Eren wanted to take were his clothes, he didn’t care about his possessions. All of his clothes were packed, but only the black garments in the overnight bags, as he was still in mourning and had to wear only black for a full year after his husband’s passing, the only exception being he gets remarried.

That wasn’t the hard part. The hard part came when Eren learned that from now on, he was going to live in the interior. As far away from his family as possible.  


His family. His mother, father, borther, grandparents, little cousins. They were all so wonderful to him and cared deeply about him. He could live with moving from one abusive husband to the next, but leaving behind the people who never one hurt him and have always loved him unconditionally was what hurt the most. Not only for Eren, but for them as well.

His mother and father cried. Zeke wanted to hold his baby brother one last time. His grandparents wanted to smother him in kisses. Gabi and Falco each tightly hugged one of his legs and refused to let go.

Saying goodbye to the children who looked up to him was the worst. At least with the rest of his family, they were mature about letting him go. The kids couldn’t understand why the favorite cousin in the family, the one who always spoiled them with treats and stories, was leaving them. They didn’t want to say goodbye, and neither did Eren.

Eren dropped to his knees and pulled Gabi and Falco close, and of course Udo and Zofia came rushing to his side, to which Eren invited in too. 

“I love you guys so much.” Eren told them. “And I will miss you all so dearly, but right now, I need to get some things straightened out. I will write and visit whenever possible. I promise.”

Now the kids were crying and it made Eren tear up. He needed to fight it, needed to be strong. He kissed their cheeks and got up, turning back to his family.

“I’ll write everyday. I promise.” Eren told his parents.

“You better!” Carla warned. “Or I will hunt you down! I still don’t like the idea of you moving so far away.”

“I’ll get things ready while you finish up here.” Erwin stated as he walked out.

Levi was about to follow him but stopped when Eren grabbed his arm. He glanced back and Eren spoke. “Why did you save me?”

“Are you really asking that?”

“Alright, let me put it this way: what do you want as a ‘reward’ for saving me.” Eren had a hunch on Levi’s intentions, and he wanted to see if he was right.

“Oh I’m not done saving you.” Levi stepped closer so Eren only Eren could hear him speaking. “I want to help you escape from Erwin now, too.”

“Why? What do you expect from me?”

“I only wish to see you smile.” Levi was going to talk more fancy words but he was cut off as Eren grabbed his face and pressed their lips together. He was right, Eren’s skin was softer than the finest of velvet, and tasted sweeter than sugar.

Their heavenly kiss didn’t last however, as soon as it started, it vanished when Eren broke away to speak. “I do not believe your sweet words, but I can use you. Protect me.”

“You didn’t even have to ask.”

A few more sorrowful goodbye’s later, and Eren left the house that was his prison and embarked on his journey to the interior with Erwin and Levi.

Once the doors to Erwin’s carriage closed, Eren lost his composure and held his face crying. So much was happening in such a short time, he was overwhelmed. Erwin took the liberty of pulling him into his arms in an attempt to comfort him. Eren decided to let it be and let the man do as he pleased. Afterall, there was one shimmering speck of hope. That being the glint in Levi’s eyes when he looked into them

***

Eren snapped back to reality when he entered Erwin’s large home. It was far larger than any building back home in Shinganshia. It made Reiner’s large house look like a shed. And Eren couldn’t decide if he loved or hated how large his new cage was.

Levi was at his side. He reached out and entangled his fingers with Eren’s. Over their trip, the few moments of privacy they had from Erwin were spent in each other's arms. Eren couldn’t say he loved Levi, but he did feel a type of lust he’s never known before. A secret affair excited Eren. Even if he and Levi were just using each other, he somehow liked the blunt honesty in that. Eren would never be forced to pretend to love someone he did not, and Levi got to relish in the excitement that came with an affair with his best friend’s fiancee. 

Of course when Erwin returned, Levi had to let go of Eren. Levi thought about how he should return to his uncle and start his training. He bid his old friend goodbye, and to Eren, a chaste kiss on the back of his hand. No glove acting as a barrier between them.

***

When Levi returned to the royal palace, he found Kenny right away. His uncle was lounging on the elegant throne as their humble king, Uri Reiss, sat on the ground next to him reading a book. They were such an odd pair.

“Levi!” Kenny sat up and greeted his nephew. “Almost didn’t see you there on account of how short you are!”

“Quite.” Levi hated the jokes that surrounded his height, but there wasn’t much he could do about them.

“How was your trip to Shiganshina?” Uri asked as he put the book down. “You went to Braun’s funeral right? I’m surprised, he was never a very pleasant man. Though I guess I just didn’t know him real well.”

“Knowing you, you were probably bored to death over there.” Kenny remarked. “Find any good hookers to fuck? What’s the market drugs down there?”

“Actually, I had a good time.” Flashes of Eren danced around in his mind. “The reason I came to find you is because I want you to train me.”

Kenny looked over at him completely stunned. “Say what now?”

“I mean it.” Levi looked right into his uncle's eyes. “Train me. Teach me how to be a royal bodyguard.”

A silence fell between them for only a moment before Kenny burst out laughing. “You gotta be shitting me? You! Work ethic? Those words just don’t go together!” 

Kenny’s laughing irked Levi, but thankfully Uri was far more mature than him. “That’s wonderful. Any particular reason for your decision?”

“Bout time I start working or something,” Levi lied. “And I’d rather have the strength and title of royal bodyguard.”

“Uh-huh, I don’t buy it.” Kenny shifted and got up off the throne. “But I think I will take you up on that. If you’re ready for the intensity, that is, then, sure, I’ll train you.”

“Thank you, Uncle!” Levi grinned, he was ready for the misery Kenny was about to put him though. Ready to protect Eren. “Let’s start tomorrow morning at ten!”

“Oh no, if you’re going to be a royal guard, you’re going to be disciplined like one.” Kenny threw out. Time to break down Levi to build him back up. “We start at four. AM.”

Levi wasn’t particularly happy about having to be awake so early in the morning, but he had to remind himself that he was doing this for Eren.

“So where is this coming from?” Kenny asked. “What’s motivated you to get off your ass and decide to work for once in your life?”

“I already told you Kenny.” Levi hissed back. The relationship he had with Kenny was a strange one, to say the least. They both hated yet, in their own strange way, respected one another. 

“And I told you I don’t believe it.” Kenny walked closer to Levi. “So who are they?”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Who has caught the eye of the great Levi Akerman so hard that he’s actually going to start working?” Kenny saw right through him.

“You’re crazy, old man.” Levi turned around to leave. “No one has or ever will ‘catch my eye’ like that.”

And with that, Levi stormed out and slammed the enormous doors of the throne room behind him. Silence filling the large, empty area.

“So who is it?” Kenny turned his attention to Uri. “Surely you know.”

“Hn. I think it’s Braun’s widow.” 

“The widow!” Kenny shook his head. “That kid is really moving in fast, eh? Dead man’s widow huh? Must be something else.”

“Have you not heard the rumors?” Uri asked.” The rumors about the Gem of Shiganshina, the most beautiful creature behind the walls?”

“Honey, you know I only have eyes for you.” Kenny gave Uri a playful nudge in the chin, making the smaller man chuckle.

“Stop it, you tease.” Uri could act like he was annoyed with Kenny’s antics, but he never was. “Anyways Braun’s widow, his name was Eren Jaeger. He was one of the most skilled nurses in the army. I actually had plans to invite him to be on the royal medical staff. He single handedly saved the lives of several severely wounded soldiers. Extremely talented. It’s a shame that after he got married to Braun, he stopped working.

“But the rumors focus not on his skills with medications and bandages. They focus on how ethereal he is. If I had to guess, Levi met Eren and fell hard and fast for him.”

“Psht, I don’t believe it.” Kenny had a hard time wrapping his brain about the possibility of Levi loving someone. That being said, Levi was getting older every day, he was even thirty one now. Perhaps this beauty made him start to grow up. “Levi loving someone. Strange. Tell me, is this Eren really as pretty as they say?”

“Can’t say,” Uri shrugged. “My heart was long stolen by the time I knew him.”

Kenny chuckled at his words before his mind went back to his nephew. Levi. A pretty widow. A funeral. This was starting to get interesting…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still debating if I should add the Omegaverse plot I have in mind for this story. I don't mind changing the tags I just wanna know if it will advance or ruin this fic. I left the fic intentionally vague enough to include it and I already have the rules for it mapped out. I dunno! I'm still thinking about it.


	6. Secrecy and Royalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever! Well, forever for me, in actuality it's only been a few days. So, the real reason this took so long was not because of school or work, but actually that I kept rewriting this chapter about four or five times. Didn't like any of it but my first two drafts, so this is actually my second draft of this chapter, finished and this is this chapter, and my first draft for this chapter will actually be the next chapter. Hope you enjoy! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Screw it! I'm turning this fic into an Omegaverse! Here's the rules:  
> 1) Alpha and Omega are the secondary genders, but not a lot of focus is on them since it is a part of their everyday life.  
> 2) Because they are secondary genders they fall under gender stereotypes. That being that (even though there are the standard is that Alpha’s play the more stereotypical masculine roles and have more masculine qualities. Whereas Omegas, since they are the birth givers, take on more stereotypical feminine roles and have more feminine qualities. EX: Male and Female Alphas will have more masculine qualities, can’t give birth, and wear masculine clothing. Male and Female Omegas have more feminine qualities, can get pregnant, and are more often the ones wearing dresses and the “wife” and “mother” roles.  
> 3) That’s also why homosexuality isn’t frowned upon or treated differently, as it’s the secondary gender that is the primary focus.  
> 4) Because of all that, it never really has to be said too often who is Alpha and who is Omega, and when they fit the stereotypical role of masculine and feminine, it tells what secondary gender they are.  
> 5) This is a very atypical Omegaverse, as there are no pheromone scents, biting and marking, knotting, rutting, ect. Very almost-realistic Omegaverse.
> 
> TW: Mentions of past forced pregnancy, mentions of past abuse, abuse

Eren woke up late, he’d been oversleeping lately. He was still trying to recover from several long weeks of no sleep. And now, without a sex crazed Reiner at his hip all hours of the day, he was allowed to go to bed eary and sleep in as late he wanted. He was oversleeping and overeating. Ever since moving in with Erwin, his appetite came back with a vengeance and he was able to eat whatever he wanted. It was usually very good, and so far, he hasn’t been drugged.

Erwin himself still scared Eren, but he was kind behind closed doors, for the most part. He still hadn’t asked for sex since the time he forced himself on Eren at Reiner’s visitation. As relieved as that made him, it also worried him for when Erwin was going to demand sex next. As of right now, they slept in separate bedrooms and Eren thoroughly enjoyed that. He enjoyed the privacy that was given to him so he could hide the symptoms of his secret. It was hard to do when they were traveling to the capitol, but so far, neither Erwin or Levi suspected a thing.

As peaceful as his life had been as of late, he was bored with ever present anxiety of his current situations surrounding him. Not to mention the sickly feeling he’s had lately.

 _When was the abuse going to start?_ He thought.

When he finally started to stir, that was when the nausea hit him. He ran to the bathroom to throw up and heaved over the basen. The morning sickness was his least favorite part

Rising to his feet, he needed to stay calm and collected. He still had time. He could still hide it. He was already starting to show, his abdomen was now slightly distended. Thankfully, he was small enough that he could still hide it. The corset Erwin requested he wear alone did wonders, dark black with the rest of his clothes, it made him look like a black veiled bride. Or that was at least what Erwin told him at breakfast.

“You’re stunning,” The back of his hand stroked Eren’s cheek. “I truly am the luckiest man in the world to have you.”

Eren felt like he couldn’t speak, he merely smiled and nodded slightly. His nausea was back and killing his appetite. Erwin seemed to notice as he only picked at his plate instead of actually eating.

“Are you feeling ok?” 

“I’m fine,” Eren answered, he was starting to feel uncomfortable. “I’m just not real hungry this morning.”

“Hm,” Erwin seemed dissatisfied with Eren’s answer. “Well I suggest you eat something. We have a long day ahead of us.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have business at the royal palace today and I want you to accompany me.” Erwin got up and walked around his chair, he placed his strong hands on Eren’s shoulder.  


“I would like for you to accompany me. I want to introduce you to the royal family and the royal military.”

Eren’s eyes immediately lit up, finally, he was leaving his new cage, to do something interesting as visit the royal palace no less! “That sounds amazing!” Eren admitted, Erwin’s grin widened and he leaned down to kiss him.

“Glad you think so, I can’t wait for everyone to meet you.” Erwin was excited to show off his new prized possession. Meanwhile, Eren was looking forward to seeing Levi again.

***

Erwin’s mansion was enormous compared to his old home, but the royal palace was somehow even grander. Eren felt the sheer size of the palace was suited not for humans, but for titans of some sort. It was beautiful, too. Extravagant and elegant, just as he expected.

Eren didn’t have a whole lot of time to admire the building as he was quickly pushed into the large throne room and he walked arm in arm with Erwin over to the fairly small crowd at the back.

There was not an abundance of people. An older man in a fancy purple suit that Eren assumed to be the king, next to him was an older woman who he assumed was the man's wife.

To the king’s left was a shorter man with gray hair and much more plane looking clothing. Eren assumed he was a servant of some kind. Behind him, tall and proud, stood another man who looked very similar to Levi.

And sure enough, it didn’t take long for Levi’s eyes to stare directly into Eren’s. He wanted to smile, to run over and kiss the man, to tell him how much he’s missed him in the past two months. He never got the chance.

There were a few more people surrounding them. An old bald man with roses on his jacket, the symbol of the Garrison, the army behind the walls. A raven haired man who wore the jacket of a unicorn, the Military Police. And another tall bald man with a goatee and tanned skin of whom Eren immediately recognized as Keith Shardes, the drill sergeant of the military. Eren knew him from his days as an army medic.

“Erwin, you took your time getting here.” The king in the purple suit was the first to speak. “And who is this that you have brought with you?”

“Lord Reiss, good to see you.” Erwin was snide in his comments, with clearly little respect for the man. “I’m sorry if I delayed the meeting, but I want you all to meet my fiancée.”

Eren was nudged forward and he gave a small, polite little bow. “It’s an honor to meet you, my Lord.”

All eyes were on him. It was an uncomfortable feeling but Eren held his ground and hoped whatever meeting they were going to have was going to start soon. Instead of starting, the king stepped closer and circled Eren a few times.

“Quite the catch you’ve managed, Erwin.” The king remarked as he eyed every inch of Eren’s clothed body. He reached out and grabbed a chunk of Eren’s long hair, twirling it around in his fingers. “Pretty little thing.”

The more the king spoke the more uncomfortable Eren got. Being the object of attention was always what got him hurt and exactly what he hated. And with this man being the king, he theoretically could have Eren do anything. Nothing was more terrifying than that thought. Not even Reiner.

“Okay, I think that’s enough.” The shorter man who looked like a servant reached out and grabbed the king’s arm, urging him to let go. “We all know you’re a creep and a sex hound, Rod. No need to target someone else's betrothed. Again.”

The tall man in the hat burst out laughing. “So Rod’s thinking with his second head again. And we all act surprised at this why?”

“Shut up, Kenny!” The old woman who Rod stood next to, his wife, retaliated. “You know nothing, you’re just a bodyguard, so keep your mouth shut!”

“I know more than you,”

The old woman’s look of disgust turned from Kenny to the servant who pulled Rod away from Eren. He didn’t seem too bothered by it, he must be well beloved by the family.

“I think we've wasted enough time,” Levi was the one to speak next and he got closer to Eren. “Let’s get this over with. I’m bored and I still have training to do.”

“Levi, I still can’t believe you’re actually working now.” Erwin remarked.

“Neither could I, honestly.” Kenny chimed in. “Thought the runt was gonna drop out day one. To my surprise, he’s actually sticking with it. And doing a good job.”

“Wow, a compliment from you, Kenny.” Levi barked back. “This is a real treat. I intend to surpass you, old man. Anyways, can we get on with this so it’s over sooner!”

“Very well,” Rod Reiss turned his attention to the military commanders. “Dok, Pixis, Smith, Shardes. Are you ready for our meeting?”

The group of them left to go to an adjacent meeting room, leaving Eren behind. The queen herself walked out not long after, she clearly wasn’t enjoying being there. Eren was glad, as she glared at him the entire time. It didn’t take long for Levi to approach him. “It’s been a few months, my green eyed beauty.”

“Do not talk to me as if I am your lover.” Eren smirked and teased back. “I am an engaged man, thank you very much!”

“Well why don’t we celebrate with some wine, then.”

“I think I’ll pass. I’d rather celebrate in a different way.” Eren stepped closer to Levi and was about to lean down to press their lips together but was cut off as Kenny started laughing again.

“So this is the beauty that stole the heart of my nephew, eh?” Kenny stepped close and at first Eren went stiff with fear, but Kenny did not circle him or really even eye him up like Rod did. “Nice to meet you, Eren. The runt here is my nephew.”

Levi cursed at Kenny as the older man ruffled his neat hair into a mess. The friendly interaction relaxed Eren and even made him chuckle. 

“Eren, it’s good to see you again.” The short man with gray hair approached Eren with a warm smile, he had a calming aura that reminded him of Armin. “It’s been so long, how’ve you been? I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s passing.”

“Do I know you?” Eren blurted out and immediately he felt regret. “Ah, I, sorry I don’t mean to be rude.”

“You’re fine, Eren.” He chuckled and waved it off like it was nothing. “I’m Uri, Rod’s younger brother and the king of the walls. We’ve only met a few times back when you were in the military.”

“You’re the king?” Eren felt his gut sink. “I thought you were a servant of some kind!”

Eren was sure his rude remarks would get him slapped, but all Uri did was laugh. “Relax, Eren. I’m not a hard-ass like my brother. Besides, I’ve actually wanted to thank you for your service for quite a long time. You were an amazing medic, had you not gotten married after your draft, I was planning on inviting you to work among the royal medical staff.”

Emotions swelled in Eren. The king was a kind man whose praise brought back pride in him, but also shame. To think that if he had not married Reiner, had not lived four years of hell on earth, he could have lived in the palace. Safe and taken care of, respected and happy as a nurse for the king himself.

“Your words are too much, I wish I had not married.” Eren admitted. “To be a nurse for you would have been an honor, I would have loved it.”

Uri seemed to sense the sadness in his voice and reached out to comfort him, but dropped his hand. “Then let me formally offer: if you would like to, I’d love to hire you as a nurse for the royal medical staff.”

Eren smiled at him, the offer was tempting, and he really did want to take it. He wanted to work again. He glanced at the Akerman’s, Levi watched him intently, as Kenny seemed focused on Uri. Eren thought he could get used to the three of them.

“You don’t have to make a decision now.” Uri added. “Take all the time you need to think about it. In the meanwhile, Levi, why don’t you show Eren around a bit.”

“I’d love that,” Eren took Levi’s arm and the two wandered around together. “You’re right Levi, the king is very kind. Your uncle is an interesting fellow as well.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Levi groaned as Eren chuckled at the thought. As much as he hated it, he really was the spitting image of Kenny. “You seem well, how are you?”

Eren’s mood immediately darkened as he avoided looking at Levi. “I’m fine,”

“No one ever believes when you say that, so don’t expect me to.” Levi stopped and looked at Eren. “What’s wrong? Does he hurt you? Force you?”

“No, it’s not that.” Eren shook his head. “He’s fine to me, and he only ever forced me once. The night before Reiner’s funeral.”

“Then what’s bothering you?”

“It’s nothing, Levi.”

“It’s something!” Whatever was bothering Eren, he was going to find out. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Eren was now his life’s obsession and he needed to know everything. “Eren, what’s going on.”

“I already told you I’m fine.” Eren was getting irritated at how pushy Levi was. Though he did debate about telling him. “Why don’t we forget about it for now and enjoy the short amount of time we have together.”

Levi immediately forgot about pestering Eren for information as he brought him over to the empty guest bedroom they were close to. He tossed Eren on the bed.

“Don’t tease me with a good time,” Levi got between Eren’s legs and ran his hands over the stockings he wore. “I’ve been dreaming of this.”

Eren shuddered at the touch, it’s been a long time since he’s been able to tolerate others touching his skin, and in such an intimate way no less. He couldn’t decide if he loved it or hated it. What he did like was how gentle Levi was. How slow and careful he was as he pulled off Eren’s underwear and stockings, hands that ran over his thighs and backside never bruised.

This was it, the moment Levi had been waiting for. The past few months of Kenny’s hellish training, and the late nights of touching himself to the thought of Eren’s body. It was all worth it right now to have Eren underneath him, soft plump skin against Levi’s careful hands. He was worried if he was too rough, he’d break his green eyed beauty.

Desperate to finally fuck Eren, Levi hastily undid his pants, his cock already dripping wet. But before he could put it in, Eren stopped him. “W-Wait…”

“Really, now? What is it?” Levi groaned, but he stopped for Eren.

“Can you uh,” Eren started, he looked flustered. “Can you use protection? You know, it’ll hide the evidence better. If Erwin wants sex later tonight and he notices…”

Protection was absolutely not what Levi wanted at all, but Eren did make a good point. They didn’t need to get caught. So Levi accepted the request. The only time he was ever thankful for his uncle budding into his life, he gave him condoms to carry around.

When Levi put the condom on, Eren seemed to relax greatly, the small smile on his lips alone was worth it. The fact that Eren grabbed Levi’s face and pulled him into a passionate kiss was the cherry on top.

With their lips still entangled, Levi pushed Eren onto the mattress and climbed on top of him. Eren wrapped his legs around Levi’s waist and that was all the encouragement he needed to shove his cock right into Eren. 

Eren gasped out and clawed at his back, he didn’t seem super comfortable, so Levi waited for him to adjust, and he didn’t mind at all. He felt magnificent, even with the condom on, the way Eren’s walls pulsed around him was exactly what he dreamed of.

When Eren gave him encouragement to move, Levi started out slow, thrusting in and out, groaning all the while. Eren seemed to adjust well, as he was moving his hips to match Levi’s pace, little whines escaping his lips. Levi loved the little sounds he made. He leaned down to plant kisses over his neck, which earned him an extra sweet whine but also a warning to not leave a mark.

It was a hard thing to do, hold back from sinking his teeth into Eren’s perfect skin, but he held his urges. After all, he was finally having sex with Eren. That was good enough.

As he slid is cock deep into Eren, the intense heat built in Levi’s gut, his pace quickened and his panting got heavier and faster. One hand was holding Eren’s waist and he rammed his cock inside, the other hand was on Eren’s shoulder, holding him down so Levi could look into his lustful face.

A few more slams and he seized up, and with a loud groan, he reached his orgasm and shot what felt like his largest load. Eren was panting underneath him, his hair a mess and sticking to his sweaty forehead. He looked beautiful. 

Levi was leaning down to kiss his lips before pulling out when Eren shoved him off and got up, running to the toilet to upchuck his guts. He spent a few solid minutes puking.

“Oh come on, was it really that bad?” Levi was almost offended as he tied off and discarded the condom. Walking over to Eren, he noticed how pale and sickly he was, his domineer had changed. “Eren? What’s wrong?”

He dropped on the ground next to Eren and pulled him close. Eren was now crying and clinging onto Levi. “He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me when he discovers my infidelity.”

“He will not hurt you,” Levi assured as he ran a hand through Eren’s long hair. “I promise he will not hurt you!”

“He will! He will kill me!” Eren had broken away and was now running to the door, Levi chased after him and yanked him close. “Let go of me! He will kill me! He will kill us both!”

“He won’t find out and he won’t kill us--”

“Not you! You’re safe! You will always stay safe because you’re strong!” Eren hissed, he was now completely erratic. “I’m not! I’m weak and now I’m chained down with--”

Eren stopped talking, eyes wide and dilated. He realized he screwed up when talking and almost let out his secret.

“Oh goddesses, you’re with child,”

Now Eren was crying, sobbing into Levi’s arms. All Levi could do was hold him close in an attempt to comfort him. Questions rang through his mind, he was sure Eren had even more.

“How uh, how long?” The words that left Levi’s mouth were stiff and awkward.

“I'm about three months. I found out just before Reiner died.” After his crying fit was done, Eren pulled away and wiped his face. “I still haven’t told Erwin, he doesn’t know.”

“It’s Reiner’s?” Levi was floored, this entire time Eren has been pregnant and completely hiding it. “Did he know? Does your family know?”

“I had not gotten a chance to tell Reiner before he passed away.” Eren started and thought back. “And I’ve only ever miscarried, so I didn’t bother telling my family as I knew I would lose it soon enough. And an inhospitable host.”

“I think I have a guess at why you’ve never carried to term, and it’s nothing to do with you being inhospitable.” Levi remarked. “And now that reason is gone! I don’t see why you’ll lose this one. Say, how did Reiner die anyways.”

“What are you implying, Levi?” Eren gave him a suspicious look. “Cardiac arrest. My husband died of a heart attack in his sleep the night I found out.”

“Did you kill him?”

“Of course I didn’t kill my husband!” Eren gasped in mock offence. “Besides, that is a question you do not need to know the answer to.”

“Save yourself and save your child, you think anyone would judge you if you did kill him?” Levi questioned. “I think most would have insisted you kill him, or they’d do it themselves.”

“Like I said, cardiac arrest in his sleep.” Eren turned away. “I woke up to him cold and stiff.”

“What a shame, leaving behind a beautiful spouse and an unborn child.” Levi moved to get in front of Eren’s face. “Tell me, will you tell Karina?”

“Oh fuck no!” Eren almost laughed. “And have her hunt me down and try to take my child away from me! I’d sooner die. I never want to see that vile woman again.”

“That, I understand,” Levi’s memory flashed back to when Karina tried to stab him with that letter opener. “Funny, she almost murdered her own grandchild.”

“Ah, you’re right.” Eren had almost forgotten about that. “Ha, I almost wish she did so that could hang over her head for the rest of her life.”  


Levi laughed at the cruelty of Eren’s words, he almost wished he didn’t stop her either. “Do you want this child?”

Eren fell silent, lost in thoughts for a few moments. “I don’t know.” He answered truthfully. He both did not want this child, but they were successfully saved from Reiner, so why not enjoy finally being able to care for his baby?

He knew why: he was now engaged to Erwin. And that alone scared him. He couldn’t tell Erwin no that night when the man forced Eren to drink that wine and to have sex with him. What would he say if he found out? When he finds out.

“Erwin does not know and I’m afraid to tell him.” Eren looked deep into Levi’s eyes. “What do I do?”

“I don’t have the right answer, Eren.” Levi took his hand in his, holding him close. “Are you showing?”

“Just starting to, but these clothes keep it even more concealed.” Levi reached out and placed his hand over Eren’s waist, thumbing over the hard bones of the corset, imagining how the skin of his belly felt. How it would feel if it were his child in there.

Eren broke away and pulled his underwear and stockings back on. “We should get back. The meeting’s sure to be over soon, if it is not already.”

Levi sighed and pulled his own pants back up as he walked out with Eren and brought him back to the throne room.

Sure enough, only moments later the meeting ended and everyone filed out of the room. Eren headed straight for Erwin but was cut off by Shardes.

“Eren, by the walls it’s you.” Shardes pulled Eren into an embrace. “Oh how I’ve missed you. You’ve really grown up.”

“Comodon Shardes, good to see you.” Eren really didn't want to spend a whole lot of time with a man whom he knew lusted after both of his parents, the two people Eren was the spitting image of. “I’d love to catch up, but I really think I must go.”

He tried to separate from Shardes, but the man held a tight grip on him. “I’m so sorry to hear about Braun’s death. If you want my opinion, you could have done far better.”

“Ah, is this really the place and time for--” Eren was cut off as Shardes leaned closer to him, but he was stopped by Erwin tugging on his arm.

“Do you mind taking your hands off of my fiancee?” Erwin and Shardes glared at each other for a time before Shardes let Eren go.

Eren ran to Erwin’s side and latched onto his arm, following his betrothed out. 

Once they were safe behind the doors of Erwin’s home, Eren knew had to tell Erwin, and he should not delay. He started to get nervous, started shaking. Erwin noticed right away.

“Eren, love, are you alright?” Images of his positive pregnancy test, his last fight with Reiner, the funeral, Erwin on top of him, Levi and their infidelity, it all played in  


Eren’s mind and he doubled over trying not to vomit. “Eren!”

Erwin held tightly onto Eren as he sank to the ground, giving him a concerned look, bombarding him with questions.

“Erwin, I ah, I have something I need to tell you.” The unreadable look Erwin gave Eren made him panic, but he had to tell Erwin. “Erwin I’m pregnant. I found out I was the day before Reiner died. I’m three months along now.”

There was a silence between them. As panic rose in Eren, all he could seance was the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ear.

The next thing he knew was a hand in his hair and a loud bang as his head was smashed into the marble floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did the Omegaverse completely ruin or enhance this fic? Who knows, lest of all I!


	7. Unsuitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot. I mean a lot. I fully expect to lose readers for this. Mind the tags, mind the TW. Once again: MIND THE TAGS, MIND THE TW!
> 
> TW: Rape, abuse, graphic descriptions of miscarriages, threats of killing, alcohol abuse/Alcoholism

The sun beamed through the windows, rousing Eren from his sleep. He overslept again. He’d been doing that a lot lately. Now that he wasn’t working anymore, he would sleep in late while Reiner was away at work. He hated it. He missed his job, loved it. He was a pretty good nurse, too. However Reiner decided that he would not be working anymore. Now his new job was to give Reiner children and raise them. 

The truth was, he didn’t want to. He and Reiner had only been married for a year now, and Eren learned fast at how different Reiner’s true nature was behind closed doors. He demanded sex almost every night, and when Eren refused, he was beat. He was also a drinker, and overall just very unpleasant. How could he be expected to bring children into this home? 

Reiner was always making rude comments about Eren and his appearance. Right now, his favorite go-to insult was about the amount of food Eren had been eating lately. Reiner pointed out that he was gaining weight and demanded he go on a diet. Now only allowed to eat once a day, trapped in Reiner’s large house, bored and always lethargic, Eren thought he was surely dying.

It wasn’t the boredom that was the worst part, the worst part was how lonely he was. How he longed for Reiner to stop beating him and to only hold him close. Was that too much to ask for? Was this really what marriage was all about? Was he going to spend the rest of his life this miserable?

Eren was pulled from his depressing thoughts as a wave of nausea sent him running for the toilet. How the hell was he so nauseous? He was only eating one meal a day and now every morning for the past week or so he’d been upchucking it. Perhaps being starved was messing with his body. He should be losing plenty of weight by now, why isn’t Reiner ever happy?

Slumped against the bathroom wall, Eren debated if he should just go over to his parents and ask them to give him something to eat. He didn’t have to be super in depth about his situation, he wanted to leave his parents out of his horrible new home life. He just wanted something to eat.

Reiner wouldn’t be home until late in the evening anyways, he told Eren last night as he complained about his disgusting cooking that he was so sick of him, he was going out drinking with Bertolt and the guys. Not that Eren really cared, any time away from Reiner was a relief. He truly was a horrible husband to be thinking that about his own spouse.

Sighing, Eren stood up when his stomach settled and he made his way to get dressed. He threw on a thick and long fur coat over his baggy sweater. It was the very start of winter, and already it had been a blizzard out for the past few days, so it was very cold outside. Thankfully, the tread though the snow to his parents home wasn’t a horrible one, as they lived nearby. 

Eren knocked on the door and was soon greeted by his mother, who welcomed him in with open arms. “Eren! It’s been awhile! How have you been?”

“Oh I’m wonderful!” Eren lied, he had gotten very good at lying lately. “I was just thinking it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you or Father. Can I visit for a bit?”

“As if you have to ask to visit your own parents!” Carla ushered him in and took his coat. “We were just finishing breakfast. Care to join us?”

“Yes I’d love to!” Eren was certain he sounded too eager for something as simple as breakfast, but his mouth watered at the smell of it. His mother had plenty of leftovers, as always.

It didn’t take long for Eren to make himself a large plate and he scarfed it down as fast as he could. The joy of having a full belly was almost immediately killed, as he was not even done with what was on his plate and he was already running to the toilet to vomit again. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Honey are you ok?” Carla carefully walked over to him and rubbed his back. “Are you feeling alright.”

“I’m fine,” Once the wave of nausea was over, Eren walked out of the bathroom and went back to his plate of food, finishing it and praying it would stay down.  


Eren was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t even notice his parent’s eying each other from across the room. Carla grinned and sat down next to Eren.

“Eren, have you been feeling well recently?” Grisha put his newspapers down and focused his attention on Eren. “Have you been nauseous like this a lot lately? Any weight gain? Polyuria? Fatigue?”

“Why are you asking?” Eren thought about it, and lately, everything applied. “Well, yes.”

Carla giggled and pulled him to a warm embrace. “Congratulations, love!”

“What’re you--?” Eren was almost annoyed about how strange they were acting, until the realization hit him. “No. No I I can’t be!”

His gut dropped and his head was swimming. He can’t be! He probably was. How could he bring a child into his cruel home? To Reiner. His imagination showed him vivid images of the horrible life they would both suffer at the hands of Reiner. The man took delight in beating and raping his own spouse, who’s to say what he’d do to his own child. His parents seemed to notice his distress.

“Honey this is exciting! You should be happy!” Carla tried to cheer him up, but it was wasted effort. Eren was a wreck with the thought. “What’s wrong? Why is this bothering you so much?”

“It it’s nothing, Mother.” Eren really didn’t want his parents to find out about how truly unhappy his marriage was, as they’d immediately demand for his divorce and return home. He’d be viewed as weak. He already was weak enough. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.”

“Of course it’s the right time!” Carla reassured, “You’ve been married for a year now, now’s a perfect time to grow your family!” 

She reached over and placed a hand on Eren’s abdomen, he hated the gesture. It was making his worst fear a reality he didn’t want to face.

“I don’t care, I don’t want to--!” Eren got up and started digging around Grisha’s supplies for a test. He needed to know right away. He found it in no time, and not five minutes later, the positive result stared back up at him, insulting him. “Oh Goddesses, this can’t be happening!”

Waves of only negative emotions flooded Eren and he couldn’t hold back the tears that flowed so freely down his face. His parents rushed to his side and bombarded him with questions that he just couldn’t answer.

Slowly, Eren eventually calmed down and Carla brought him into the living room. Eren sat in silence as he debated what he was going to do next. He can’t have a baby. Reiner will hurt them, probably kill them before they’re even born on account of how much he beat Eren.

Eren spent the majority of his day in the safety of his parent’s house, only leaving when it was dark out and he was tired enough to want to sleep. He debated if he should make Reiner dinner, he hated his cooking and made sure to tell him every night. Besides, he was out drinking at the tavern with his friends, maybe he ate there.

Deciding to just cook for himself and go to bed, Eren did just that. He was halfway through his pathetic dinner when Reiner barged through the door. Barely able to stand, and reeking of alcohol.

Reiner stood in the doorway and watched him. “S’fer dinner?”

“I didn’t make you dinner tonight because you hate my cooking.” Eren realized his temper was going to get him beat, but he’s had enough bad news in his day, he could live with a beating. “Besides, weren’t you out with the guys? Didn’t you eat at the tavern?”

“S’gonna, but I thought I’d be nice ‘n pretend I like my useless husband’s burnt slop.” Reiner fired back and dropped into a chair next to Eren. “Thought you’d like that.”

“Well I don’t!” Eren hissed back at him, he wasn’t going to cook for him anymore tonight. “If you hate my food so much, cook for yourself! I find I actually like my cooking!”

“Yer supposed to be my husband,” Reiner reminded him. “Your job is to cook my food, clean my house, spread your legs for me, and give me children. So far you’re bad at all of that!”

“If I’m such a horrible housewife, why don’t you divorce me then--!” A loud crack echoed as Reiner’s hand collided with Eren’s face.

“Don’t talk back to me you bitch.” Reiner reminded him, Eren sighed, he was tired. “You know I will never divorce you…”

Reiner slipped a hand between Eren’s legs and groped his thighs. He could belittle Eren all he wanted, hurt him, beat him, but he would never get rid of Eren. He would die before someone else took his magnificent trophy, his favorite toy. He craved his body, and Eren knew it was the only reason he was not dead yet.

“You’re so beautiful…” Reiner whispered into Eren’s neck as his hands roamed his squirming body. “I want you.”

“Reiner,” Eren breathed out as he was trapped against his seat. “Can can we um, not for tonight? I uh, I have something to tell you.”

Reiner sat back to glare at him, but he listened for what Eren had to say. Eren was very nervous, and didn’t even know if he should tell Reiner, but he’d find out sooner or later, better he found out now, from him. “If I find out you’re cheating on me, I will kill you.”

“Reiner, I’m pregnant.” His words hung in the air as Reiner stared down at Eren. He was sure he’d get beat.

To his surprise, Reiner backed off and sat back. “Really?” He asked. “When did you find out?”

“Just this morning. I went to visit my parents because I wasn’t feeling well.” Eren admitted. He was worried Reiner was going to find something in there to get mad at, somehow knowing he snuck out for the food he wasn’t supposed to have. “And you know my father is a doctor, he found out right away.”

Reiner slowly started to chuckle, then it progressed to a loud laugh that made Eren anxious. “No way! You’re finally knocked up now, eh?”

Reiner was on him again, holding him close in the most warm gesture he’d done since they were married. “I take that back you are good at taking my cum and carrying my kids.”

“What a disgusting way to put it, Reiner.”

“What a disgusting mouth you have. Maybe instead of talking back, you should put it to good use and suck my cock instead.” Reiner grabbed Eren’s face and forced him down between his legs, he unbuckled his pants and pulled out his erection, rubbing the tip against Eren’s cheek. “Suck it.”

Eren groaned, he hated having to suck dick. It was uncomfortable at best, painful at worse, and the taste of urine and cum always stuck to the back of his throat. And that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was being forced to swallow all that damned fucking cum. He usually puked it up right afterwards, which was always followed by a beating and painful sex.

“No.” Eren slapped Reiner’s hand away and got up to his feet, only to be picked up and thrown agitans the kitchen counter. 

Eren yelled out loudly as he crashed against the counter. Reiner was on top of him again, this time, he grabbed Eren’s neck and forced him against the kitchen cabinets. Reiner wormed his thumb in Eren’s mouth to pry his jaw open. As soon as Eren’s mouth was open, Reiner stuffed his cock all the way back to his throat.  


Reiner groaned loudly as he slowly bucked his hips against his husband’s mouth, his cock choking Eren, he enjoyed the pathetic gasps for breath he made. It didn't take long for Reiner to release his load and try to drown Eren in cum. 

Eren couldn’t even attempt to swallow his cum, he gagged and coughed, trying to catch his breath, even with the mess over his face and chest. Eventually, his breathing returned to normal and he relaxed, slumped against the kitchen cabinets.

As soon as he had a moment of peace, Reiner hand scooped him up and threw him over his shoulder, carrying him away. Eren was dizzy, felt he could lose consciousness right there, but that would be a blessing. A blessing Reiner refused to give him.

Instead, Reiner brought Eren back to their bedroom and plopped him down on the mattress. Laying on the soft mattress, Eren remembered how tired he was, and now with a pounding headache, Eren closed his eyes and almost let himself drift to sleep. The rhythmic pace of Reiner’s hips thrusting agitans his, fucking him into the matress, was enough to pull him into an uneasy sleep.

***

It had been five months since Eren had found out, and of course everyone knew and had to be in his business about it. His father was obsessed with his health, while his mother was obsessed with the idea of having a new grandbaby. Zeke was already bragging about how much he was going to spoil his new niece or nephew, and of course the kids were thrilled.

As much as everyone needing to know his private business annoyed him, he could put up with it for his family. For the most part they meant well. Besides, Reiner had stopped beating him altogether and was actually very loving as of late. Bruises disappeared, he would hold Eren and tell him how much he loved him. He’d help out around the house, would cook, and even slowed down on the drinking.

As nice as everything was as of late, there was still one thing that just never went right: Karina. At first, Karina was overjoyed at the news and even praised Eren. Showering him with kisses and affection. However that quickly faded into an unbearable attachment to her unborn grandchild, her hatred for Eren returning rather quickly. 

As if things couldn’t get any worse: she had recently caught a nasty bout of the flu. She demanded to be cared for in Reiner’s home, near her son and her grandchild. At first Reiner refused, not wanting Eren to get sick, but he could never deny Karina. So now Eren was stuck caring for her, pregnant, and always on her bad side.

“Are you eating well?” Karina asked Eren one day out of the blue as he prepared her medications.

“Yes, I’m eating fine.”

“Really? Because you’re putting on a lot more weight for someone of five months.” Karina snickers and pretend to go back to reading her book.

Eren debated if he could get away with poisoning her medications. “Maybe we’ll have twins.”

“You're big even for twins. Maybe quads?”

“Ok.” Eren put down the antibiotic he was holding. “Do you want my care or not? Because if you’re just going to sit there and snark at me, I can stick this syringe in a far less pleasant place for you.”

“Reiner would never let you get away with that.” Karina’s words were dripping with malice. “You have a bad mouth, Reiner should teach you manners. Now be a good little whore and do one of the only three things you’re useful for.”

“Gossesses, I hate you.” Eren mumbled quiet enough to himself that Karina couldn’t hear and he drew up the medication in the syringe. “Alright, I’m going to give you this antibiotic. You can either have it in your arm, your hip, or your outer thigh.”

“Hm, you know what, I don’t want an injection. I don’t trust you to do it properly.” Karina waved him off. “Order me a pill or syrup or something.”

Eren sighed and reached back into his medical bag. He knew what she was doing, stalling for time so she could stay longer in their house. Thankfully, he prepared and ordered her medication in every form available. 

“Ok which do you prefer: pills or liquid form?” Eren held up a bottle of the little pills as well as a bottle of the liquid medication. “It also comes in a suppository form, too! You know medicine is actually absorbed far faster in the anus than by taking it orally.”

Eren chuckled at the upset expressions Kariana made when she realized he was one step ahead of her, like a toddler who had been outsmarted. And her reaction to comprehending a suppository dose was an image Eren wanted to engrane in his memory forever.

“You absolutely will not be giving me a suppository!” Karina hissed at him, of course, she still had to decide how she wanted to take her medications. “Fine I, I guess I will get the injection.”

“Great! Where do you want it?” When given directions, Eren disinfected her arm and gave her the shot.

“Ow! You’re horrible at giving shots!” Karina yelled loudly and jerked when injected, clearly trying to spook him.

“Yeah, all injections hurt.” Eren gave her the medication and pulled out the needle, safely destroying it and cleaning up the area, “Your arm will be a bit sore for a day or two.”

“Knowing your horrid aim, it’ll be painful for weeks!” Karina rubbed her arm and shivered. “I’m amazed you’re actually a nurse you’re so bad at what you do.”

“Uh-huh, and what did you do again?” Eren spat back. “Oh that’s right! You never had a job. You live with your siblings.”

“I had no job so I could be a proper housewife!”

“You were never married.” Eren reminded her.

“At least I was a better mother than you’ll ever be!” Eren stopped what he was writing for a progress note and looked up at her.

“I think I’m done here.” Eren packed his medical bags. “You had your medicine now go rest.”

And Eren left. Even though she was under his care and living in his home, he didn’t have to be with her at every given second. And he was going to talk to Reiner about her, she was awful to him and there was nothing he could do to please her but carry her grandchild for a few months. In a rage, Eren went straight to Reiner, who happened to have the day off.

“Hey, Reiner,” Eren walked right into his office. “We need to talk. It’s about your mother.”

Reiner looked up at Eren from his paperwork. “For the last time Eren, she’s sick and she’s excited for her first grandchild. I know she can be mean, but trust me she means well.”

“No, Reiner, she doesn’t mean well!” Eren stormed over to Reiner and slammed his hands on the desk. “She’s a cruel, sick, selfish little woman that gets off on belittling me!”

“Well do you give her a reason to hate you?”

“She hates my existence!” Eren backed away and faced away from Reiner. “She’s hated me from the moment we met! And before we were married, she tried convincing you to dump me! Why didn’t you?”

Reiner got up from his desk and went over to Eren, pulling him into a gentle embrace. “She’s a tough lady, I know. Think about where she came from, her ex left her pregnant and she’s been broke and living with my uncles and aunties ever since. Just try to remember she’s had it rough.” 

Eren felt guilt at his anger as he melted into Reiner’s arms, pulling his husband into a kiss. “I’m sorry. I… I guess I overreacted. Still, you should have found someone else. Someone your mother would have liked. Why me?”

“Eren, you know I could never love someone besides you.” Reiner returned a few more quick kisses. “You’re the only one for me, you know that.”

Eren was silent, thinking. Reiner was calm right now, and talking to him normally. Eren could confront him about his abuse, but that would probably flip his mood on a dime. So Eren opted to stay silent and give his husband a few more loving kisses.

“I do not want your mother in the delivery room.”

Reiner laughed loudly, almost scaring Eren. “Can’t say I want her there either!”

They both laughed and held each other close. Reiner’s hand lovingly gliding over Eren’s distended abdomen. Moments like these reminded Eren that despite all the pain and the fighting, Reiner still loved him. And he loved Reiner just as much.

***

Eren was now seven months along. He was big and miserable, but things were also great. Reiner was kind to him, his family was always there for him, even Karina backed off a bit. Things were finally looking up for him. Or so he thought.

It was early evening, the setting sun flooding through the window. Eren was laying in bed on his side, hand on his abdomen as his mind drifted into a haze. Reiner was lying behind him, holding him. Before he could completely fall asleep, Reiner was telling him something.

“Hm?” Eren blinked a few times and looked back at Reiner. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“Oh nothing,” Reiner assured Eren as he broke away to get up. “I’m just going to grab a beer. I’ll be right back.”

Eren frowned, he hated when Reiner drank, that was when he became mean, and beat him. He’d cut down on his drinking lately and it was like he was a whole new person. Eren didn’t want the old, cruel Reiner back.

“Reiner, wait.” Eren sat up and grabbed Reiner’s hand before he was too far away. “Can uh, can you not drink tonight?”

Reiner stopped to look back at Eren. “Huh? Why?”

“It it’s just that you um,” Eren was at a loss, he didn’t know if he should confront Reiner about his cruelty, but now he was calm, now he had to try. “You get very mean when you drink. I know you love it, but it really hurts when you do. So can you please stop drinking. For me, for our baby.”

Eren took Reiner’s hand and placed it on his abdomen, he could feel kicking and he was sure Reiner could too. Reiner was silent for a few moments, hand gliding over Eren’s stomach.

“I’m not going to stop drinking.” Reiner finally brought his gaze up to look at Eren. “I promise I won’t hurt our baby, but I can’t live without alcohol, it helps with the pain.”

“I can get you pain medicine!” Eren was now pleading. “Reiner, I don’t want you to drink anymore, I don’t want you to beat me, but most importantly I don’t want you to hurt our baby. Imagine how horrible you’d feel if you accidentally killed our baby because you were drunk!”

“Eren, I won’t hurt our baby!” Reiner was starting to get angry and get aggressive. “You’re different, you need to be put in your place sometimes. I won’t hurt my child.”

“Reiner that’s a horrible thing to say!”

“Oh be quiet! You’re my spouse and I own you, remember that!” Reiner broke away and went over to the wine cabinet in their bedroom and pulled out whiskey, pouring himself a glass.

Eren frowned more. He had asked politely for Reiner to stop drinking, only to be rudely rejected and ignored. Anger flared in him, and now, he was going to do something about it.

Reiner approached the bed to lay back down with him, but Eren got up and went to their closet, grabbing his thick long coat and putting it on.

“What are you doing?” Reiner asked angrily.

“If you can’t respect my one wish for the safety of my child and myself, then I’m leaving you until you can.”

“What? No!” Reiner got up and grabbed Eren’s arm, yanking him away from the door. “Don’t you dare leave! That’s kidnapping!”

“It’s not kidnapping if my baby isn’t born yet!” Eren ripped away and walked towards the staircase so he could go downstairs and out of the house. He was going to stay with his parents until Reiner could clean up his act.

“Eren! Wait!” Reiner ran after him and pulled him close. “You can’t leave! Where where are you going?!”

“Away from you until you can learn to stop drinking and start caring for your family!” Eren shoved Reiner away. “If you can’t learn that then well, you’ll get the divorce papers served!”

Eren was certain his threat was perhaps a bit too far, but if it gets Reiner to get it together then it would all be worth it. Eren turned away from Reiner and was about to walk down the stairs when Reiner lunged forward and slammed him into the wall.

“You are not leaving me! Not ever!” Reiner screamed in his face and grabbed onto his neck, crushing his windpipe. “You will never divorce me, you will never leave me, don’t you dare even think about walking out!”

Eren couldn’t breath, his vision was going dark and his body slowing down, but he refused to give up here. He had a child to care for and he was going to give them the best life he could, even if it was away from Reiner.

Eren lifted his swollen leg and kicked Reiner right in the shin, making him lose balance and dropping him. Once dropped, Eren gasped for air and grabbed the staircase railing to get back onto his feet and run away. However his kick wasn’t very hard, and Reiner recovered almost immediately. Reiner was fast, and he gave Eren a rough kick in the side.

The next moments were a blur, all Eren could recognize was pain and his own screams before he blacked out. 

When Eren came to, it was completely dark outside, the moonlight illuminating the parlor. Eren’s mind was blank for a moment as he tried to remember what happened. It didn’t take long for the memory and the realization to hit.

Eren was at the bottom of the house's large staircase, laying face down on the ground in a pool of blood. The pain came though and it was debilitating, Eren suspected he was hemorrhaging and hypovolemic at this point. 

However he was still alive, and he prayed to the goddesses that his child was too, despite his rational mind knowing the truth.

Eren slowly rose to his feet, more blood flowed out from him when he stood, and he knew he was running out of time.

Eren waddled to the front door and opened it, the cold air bellowing around him, causing him to shiver, he was cold, and his vision was darkening, he must be dying. Giving up, Eren’s eyes slid closed as he collapsed onto the front porch of his own home.

***

He was in so much pain. His head was spinning and his lower half was on fire. Eren moaned in pain as he shifted, his consciousness slowly returning. When he opened his eyes, he was in his bedroom. Was he alone? No. Reiner was slumped against the side of the bed, arms folded and face in his arms. Eren reached out and slowly ran a hand through his blond hair.

Reiner looked up and gasped, sitting up and grabbing Eren’s hand, holding him close. “Eren! You’re awake! Oh goddesses Eren I’m, so sorry!”

Reiner was now kissing and sobbing over his palm. Eren was confused. What was going on? He turned his head to the side, in his other arm was an IV of blood flowing into his arm. He focused to in front of him on his abdomen, his abdomen was smaller than it was last he remembered. Had the child been born while he was asleep? Eren slowly sat up, moaning in pain and looked around.

His father was in the room, off to the side working on something Eren couldn’t see. Aside from him and Reiner, his mother was also sitting next to his bed, crying. When she noticed he was awake, she started sobbing even harder. 

“Where where is my baby?” Eren looked between his family, which only brought more tears to their eyes. “I need to see them."

He knew the truth, he knew it when he woke up face down on the ground in his own blood. He still needed to see for himself. Eren pulled the blankets away from his body and tried to stand up, only to be pushed back into bed by his father.

“No, you can’t stand.” Grisha told him and helped him settle back in. “You were badly hurt, and lost a lot of blood. You’ll be on bedrest for a while.”

“Father, I’m fine!” Eren lied, he was in immense pain and his legs felt weak and sore. “I need to see my baby. Please!”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do!” A few moments of intense silence, and Eren stared down Grisha, eventually getting his way.

Grisha walked over to the table with all of his supplies and grabbed a covered basin, bringing it over to Eren. What Eren saw would haunt him for the rest of his life. He lost his child. Eren forced himself to stare down and engrave the horrors into his mind before it became too much and he broke down sobbing.

The pain in his body was nothing compared to how his soul shattered. His first child, his baby, was taken away from him by the cruel husband who only moments before had promised to never hurt them.

It was overwhelming, Eren fell back in bed and buried his face in a pillow, sobbing. Reiner had crawled into bed with him and curled around him in an attempt to comfort his grieving spouse as together they mourned the death of their child.

Eren’s parents stepped out to give the couple privacy in their moment of grieving. Once they were gone Eren sat up and stared Reiner down.

“You bastard, you murdered our baby!”

“I know.” Reiner admitted painfully. He had clearly regretted what he did, but it was too late. Their child was gone, Eren was badly injured, and he didn’t miss the suspicious nature that Eren’s parents exhibited towards him. Grisha paying close attention to the bruises around Eren’s neck, he clearly didn’t believe Reiner’s story about how Eren “fell” down the stairs on accident.

“Get away from me you sick fuck!” Eren hissed. “I asked only one thing ever of you! That you stop drinking! What did that lead to? You drank and you threw me down the stairs and now I miscarried! This is all your fault!”

Reiner was back to sobbing, holding his face in his hands. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. Eren I am so so sorry!”

“No.” Eren rejected his apology. “Sorry doesn’t bring our baby back to life! We’re getting a divorce! I’m done with you!”

Reiner was crushed, he tried to cling to Eren, but Eren only shoved him away. Agents his father’s wishes, Eren got out of bed. He instantly regretted it as he moaned in pain and more blood started seeping from between his legs.

However, he pushed it aside. His baby was in more pain than he was, and he was alive hooked to an IV, unlike them. Grabbing the IV and wheeling it out, Eren stepped out of his bedroom into the hallway where his parents were talking.

“Eren I told you, you’re on bedrest now.” Grisha grabbed one of Eren’s shoulders and tried to lead him back in the bedroom. “You can’t be up like this.”

“Reiner killed my baby.” Eren cut him off and stared at his parents with a stern expression. “Reiner threw me down the stairs. It’s his fault. He’s a drinker and he’s horrible to me. He beats me and rapes me every night. Hell, on our wedding night he drugged me. I asked him to stop drinking for our baby and we got into a fight, I told him I was going to leave him until he cleaned up his act and stopped drinking, but he didn’t. It’s all his fault. I’m miserable and I didn’t want to bring a child into this home for exactly that reason. I want a divorce. Please, Mother, Father, help me.”

At Eren’s confession both his parents were crying again and clinging onto him for dear life. They agreed immediately to take him in and help him with the divorce process. However what he wasn’t planning on was that Reiner was standing at the door and listening to every word.

It was only a moment and Reiner’s arm was around Eren’s neck, holding him close to his body. The barrel of his pistol pressed against his temple. “What did I say about leaving me.”

Eren’s eyes blew wide as he stared in horror at his parents, silently begging them for help.

“You are never going to leave me, my darling Eren.” Reiner nuzzled his face in Eren’s hair. “Fret not my love, I will put as many children as you wish inside you.” Reiner kissed at Eren’s face as tears streamed down his cheeks. His gaze and his gun then turned to Eren’s parents. “As for you, don’t you fucking dare take Eren away from me. Go to the police and I promise I will kill Eren and then you.”

The Jaeger’s were silent, sitting in fear of the violent man who held their son’s life in a terrifying grip. They were frozen in fear, they’d love to go to the authorities, but now was not the right time. Right now Eren was in danger, and the only way to ensure his safety was to keep silent about his abusive husband.

Reiner yanked Eren back into the room and closed the door, dragging Eren back to bed and laying him down. “You need your rest, darling.”

Eren was forced back against the mattress, he knew what came next. Eren was sobbing again, but the pain in his lower half as Reiner forced him to take his cock right after having a stillbirth was nothing compared to the realization that his life would never get better. He was doomed to life un unhappiness, and he would never be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I lost readers for this one. Shame, I actually think this was my best chapter so far. All I ask is that you're not too harsh on me in the comments, I did post the TW's and I always do.


	8. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little taste of Freedom goes a long way...

Eren laid in bed awake all night. Even with his head pounding from a concussion, he was not tired. Quite the opposite in fact, adrenaline was coursing through his veins. After he confessed to Erwin, he got a painful beating. Not that he expected anything less. 

As soon as he had told Erwin of his situation, the man's mood changed on a dime. Instead of malice lurking behind a friendly exterior and gestures, he was cold, rude, and seemed to truly care little for Eren. Only wanting him for his body, just like Reiner had been.

However, now Eren was free. Free of the shackles of his previous marriage, and he decided he would be free of Erwin, too. After the wound on his head was treated, Eren was sent back to bed as Erwin returned to his work. When he was supposed to be resting, Eren quickly prepared two letters, one for his brother, the other for Levi. He would send them out as soon as he was outside.

Tonight, in the dead of early autumn, Eren was going to run away. He didn’t bother packing a bag, it would only slow him down. So instead he grabbed some easy to move in clothes and a dark, long length and hooded cloak. He was going to save himself and save this baby.

Amazingly, his temporary bedroom was on the ground floor, so he used a window to crawl out into the garden and scaled the house until he reached the manor gate. It was a moonless night, and he knew when Erwin’s staff’s shift change was, so when he was certain no one was looking, he slipped past the opened gate. Leaving the manor was surprisingly easy, but it would only get harder from here. 

Thankfully, they were in the heart of the capital city, so his walk into town wasn’t long. Once he reached a mailbox, he dumped the letters in. That was one part done, now to get out of the city.

He imagined getting out of the city would be difficult, as he had no money, he was planning on probably stealing a horse and taking off. Perhaps he could make a bargain, he already had something he knew most wanted.

The city was alive at night in it’s own way, not terribly busy, but the night brought a new crowd that wandered the streets. Eren was worried he looked out of place, with his cloak’s hood over his head. Yet hardly anyone seemed to spare him the time of day. To that he was thankful for.

Wandering the city streets, Eren came across a back alley bar. His rational mind knew how dangerous it would be for him there, but he was already in danger as it was.  
Taking a deep breath, Eren pushed open the door and looked around inside. The bar was dim and smoke hung in the air. In the back there were a few people playing pool, the loud crack from their game echoing. Eren slowly walked in and sat at the bar, looking around at the few people that were in there. Maybe someone would be kind enough to point him in the direction he needed to go. 

Sitting, mulling over how he was going to approach this, Eren almost didn’t notice the bartender ask for what he wanted to drink. Eren wasn’t sure what to say, that he was pregnant, had no money, and was running away from one of the most powerful people in the country? Eren settled on asking if he could just sit for a little while, out from the cold. He feared the bartender getting angry and kicking him out, instead she just told him that if he changed his mind to hollar for her as she went back to her work.

Eren sighed as rested his head against the counter. This was a mistake, what was he thinking? He wanted his baby to be safe, but that wish would probably never be granted. It was either this or wait on Erwin’s decision on weather or not he’d have an abortion forced upon him. He didn’t want that, he got this baby away from Reiner, that alone was an accomplishment.

Lost in his own madness, Eren almost didn’t notice when the bartender sat down a glass of wine in front of him. “Gentlemen in the back bout this for you.”

Eren was stunned, he looked back, and sitting at a circular booth with a few friends, was a tall man with sandy blonde hair under a hat and a very long face. He almost reminded Eren of a horse. Well this was his one opportunity, Eren picked up the drink and walked back over to the horse-faced man. 

“May I sit?” Eren approached the booth and Horse Face nodded eagerly. Eren sat right next to him. “Thank you for the drink.”

“Sure thing, darling.” Horse Face slung an arm around Eren’s shoulder. “Haven’t seen you ‘round here. New to the area?”

“Sort of,” Eren was slightly uncomfortable at the touch, but he knew what he was getting himself into. For his baby. “I’m actually trying to head back home. 

Unfortunate circumstances brought me to the capital and now I’m trying to leave.”

“If you’re trying to leave, why stop at a bar?”

“I don’t have any money.” Eren was certain he was that he was coming across as pathetic, perhaps a whore.

“Kinda hard to do stuff without money, eh?” Horse face readjusted his hat. “You look like you’ve seen better days, too. Where are you headed?”

“Shiganshina.”

“Really!” Horse Face was about to sip his beer when Eren told him, he looked like he was in shock. “Damn! That’s a trip! You are far away from home.”

Eren nodded pathetically and looked down. What was he doing? Maybe he could sneak back into Erwin’s? He doubted it. Doubted he’d even find it in the dark. Maybe he could go back in the morning and confess to Erwin? Also no, he’d get another beating. Either way, he was hopeless.

Horse Face watched him intently. “So what’s your story? If you’re from Shiganshina, what’re you doing out here? How did you get here?”

“My story is not that important,” Eren looked up into Horse face’s warm eyes, he was probably making a mistake, but he had nowhere else to turn. “Please, help me out of this city.”

Horse Face put his beer to his lips, finished it, and went to the bar to pat off his tab. Then he crossed back over to Eren and helped him to his feet. “Let’s bring you home.”

“Really? You’re really going to help me?” Eren felt like he was going to cry. “You don’t even know me.”

“Well what if I want to know you.” Horse Face grinned and helped Eren up. “I’m Jean Keirstine, nice to meet you.”

“Eren,” Eren started and he thought about how it probably wasn’t smart to give out his real name, no matter how trustworthy Jean seemed. He decided to use an alias from an old family friend. “Eren Kruger.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Mister Kruger.” Jean smiled and walked outside with Eren. Eren smiles, he felt more relaxed.

“You can just call me Eren,”

Jean grinned and led him to a stable with some horses that were housed. “So, all I have is a horse. I hope that’s ok. I work in a few days, so I can only take you to Wall Sina.”

“I appreciate any help I can get,” Eren nodded and let Jean help him onto the horse. “Thank you, Jean.”  


“No problem!” Eren missed the red tinge on Jean’s cheeks as he hopped up on the horse in front of him. Eren wrapped his arms around Jean’s waist to hold onto him. 

***

The ride to the gate of Wall Sina wasn’t all that bad, it was just long. It took a day and a half alone to reach the gate. Once they reached the gate, Jean paid the toll for Eren to pass though. This was where they said goodbye. Strange, Eren found he didn’t want to leave Jean behind so soon.

“Here,” Jean pulled out a small coin pouch and handed it to Eren. “You need some money. It’s not much, but it’s enough to get you some food and a ride further out.”

“Jean, you don’t have to do this.” Eren tried to refuse Jean’s gift, but he just kept handing it back to him. “I owe you so much as it is.”

“Nah, you don’t owe me nothing.” Jean smiled at him, his face was tinged red as he looked down at Eren. “I uh, I just hope you make it safe.”

“Are you sure I can’t give you something?” Eren felt his cheeks flush as he reached out and placed his hand on his groin. Jean shifted, he was already half hard, but when Eren touched him, his erection filled out.

“I keep telling you, it’s fine.” Jean pushed Eren’s hand down, rejecting his advance. He looked pained as he refused something he clearly wanted, but he didn’t allow himself to take advantage of the situation. “I promise you’re fine Eren. Pay me back by making it home safe, ‘kay?”

A calm warmth that Eren hadn’t felt in years spread through him. At first he didn’t trust Jean, but he proved himself to be a good guy. Eren grabbed Jean’s face in his hands and pulled him into a deep kiss. Jean didn’t refuse the kiss. He placed his hands on Eren’s waist and leaned into his kiss. Warm and slow.

After a few wonderful moments, Jean slowly pulled away and set Eren back down. “Go south to the very next town, look for a farmer named Connie Springer, he’s an old friend of mine. He can help you through Wall Rose. Tell him Jean sent you.”

Jean placed one more chaste kiss onto Eren’s forehead before they parted ways. Now Eren was alone again, but not empty. Jean had shown him kindness and wanted to lead him to someone else he would suspect would show him kindness as well. He even had a little money. Eren made a note that when he returned to his family, he would repay Jean and send him twice the amount of money Jean loaned to him.

Eren walked down the dirt road headed south. He knew he should probably buy a horse or a carriage ride to the next gate as Erwin had to have known he was gone at this point. He was surely looking for him. Which meant he was running out of time to get to the safety of his brothers. It didn’t help that he was tired and hungry. Perhaps he should buy food first? No. He needed to keep moving forward.

Rounding close to the village Jean directed him to, Eren walked over to the local stable, hoping he could find Connie. A farmer man with short buzzed hair greeted him.

“Howdy stranger!” The farmer leaned against his shove he was using. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Are you Connie Springer?”

“Who’s asking?” The farmer looked him up and down a few times. “I don't recognize you, you from around here?”

“Jean Keirstien sent me,” Eren admitted. “I’m just trying to get back home to the outer wall and he helped me.”

“Ah, I see.” Connie set down his shovel and walked over to Eren. “Well believe it or not but I’m actually headed out to Trost for work. This is perfect! If you’d like, you can tag along.”

“Alright.” Eren agreed. “How much do you want?”

“I’m ok.” Connie smiled and prepared his wagon for his trip to Trost. “By the way, what’s your name?”

“Kruger.” Eren helped Connie load up his cart, he had to be useful somehow. “Eren Krugar.”

“Where’re you from, Eren?”

“Shiganshina.”

“That’s a ways away!” Connie laughed. “Makes seance I guess. So how do you know Jean?”

“We met in a bar and he helped bring me to the Wall gate.”

“Jean helping out a stranger, strange.” Connie looked closely at Eren. “Yeah, I can see why he helped you. You’re hot.”

Eren rolled his eyes. “It always goes back to that.”

“Hey don’t worry about it.” Connie grinned and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Go sit down, I’m almost finished.”

The ride to trost was also a rather easy one. Connie was a very talkative man, he talked the entire time about anything and everything he wanted. Eren felt relaxed, Connie seemed trustworthy enough, if a little dimwitted.

Connie didn’t ask much about Eren’s situation, and for that he was thankful for. He really didn’t want to talk about it at the moment. He just wanted to keep moving forward.

Another day and a half and Eren was behind the gate of Wall Rose and in the city of Trost. Once in the city Eren wanted to relax, he was close to being out of the confines of Wall Rose. And he was making good time too, he would be home in no time at this rate.

What did worry him was that it was now three days since he'd been gone, and Erwin had to be looking for him at this point. He had eyes everywhere, he was sure he was being hunted. He couldn't be an easier catch, either. Pregnant, no money, a fish out of water.

“Well this is where I have to leave you,” Connie got his attention when he parked his wagon and helped Eren down. “I’m afraid I can’t make it back with you to Shiganshina, but one of Jean and mine's friend is also doing business up in Trost, and she’s from Daupper Village! Why don’t we see if she can bring you the rest of the ways to the walls, yeah?”

“That would be great,” Eren smiled and let Connie pull him into a loose hug. Connie was also trustworthy. “Thank you, Connie.”

“Hey don’t worry about it! This just gives us an excuse to add you into the group!”

“Group?”

“Yeah, you know, like friends.” Connie looked at him stunned. “We should all get together and spend some time, you look like you could use some new friends, so consider me, Jean, Sasha and Niccolo your new friends.”

Eren smiled more and tackled Connie in a tight hug. “Thank you, truly.”

Connie laughed and patted his back. They soon unloaded his cart to where he was selling his goods, chatting the entire while.

It was rounding early evening and Connie led him to a local inn where they met a blond man and a woman with long brown hair.

“Connie! Hey buddy, how’s my favorite idiot!” The woman ran over and hugged Connie. She then noticed Eren and looked at him. “Who’s this? New friend?”

“You got it! Sasha, Niccolo, this is Eren, he’s a friend of Jean’s.” Connie pointed to Eren and the two looked at him. “Eren, this is Sasha, my other half, and the idiot she married named Niccolo.”

“Hey!” Niccolo glared at Connie who only laughed at him. “At least I have more brains than the two of you combined!”

Eren started to feel timid all of a sudden, but he was cut off by Sasha tightly hugging him. “Hi Eren! Nice to meet ya! Are you hungry? Because Niccolo here can cook you the best meat you’ve ever had!”

“That sounds nice…” Eren’s stomach growled, he’d hadn’t had much of an appetite now that he was on the run from Erwin. He was too sick with worry to think about eating. “I guess I am hungry.”

“That’s the spirit!” Sasha laughed and led them to the porch of the inn they were staying at. Niccolo fired up a grill and started cooking. Sasha and Connie sat and chatted casually with each other, so Eren decided to sit and wait patiently.

He was amazed at how fast he had found such kind people. He deemed Sasha and Niccolo trustworthy immediately. How strange, in his world where he was given nothing but cruelty, he met some truly wonderful gems in the darkness.

“So what’s your story, Eren?” Sasha asked and Eren turned to look at her. She and Connie were watching him, waiting for his answer. “You told us where you’re from, but what else about you?”

“Oh, uh,” Eren was at a loss for what to say. How could he tell them about his situation? Between Erwin and Reiner, and now being pregnant again. “I, ah, well, I used to be a nurse. Army medic with the scouts during the war. That was years ago, though.”

The three of them hung on his every word, listening intently to all he had to say, so Eren kept talking. “It was about four years ago. I got married soon after my draft, and was supposed to be a full time caretaker of the house and children. However the Goddesses did not bless us with any children, so I was just alone. Recently I've been widowed.”

“You say the Goddesses did not bless you, yet you are with child now.” Sasha reached out and placed a tender hand on his abdomen. “Congratulations. Is this the child of your late husbands? Have you found a new man? Unfortunate circumstances?”

“All of it.” Eren admitted and looked at her. He didn’t elaborate further, didn’t have to. The mood of the room went silent for a while, but Sasha snapped Eren out of his thoughts with an offering of some wonderful smelling meats.

“Eat up.” She smiled and handed him the tray. “You’re eating for two, afterall.”

Eren smiled and thanked her. She was right. The food was delicious. When they were finished, Eren lay on the inn bed tired and ready to fall asleep.

“We leave in the morning.” Sasha told him. “We depart early and get a good head start. You’ll be home in no time.”

With her kind words, Eren allowed himself to drift off. He was surrounded by trustworthy people who had no intention of hurting him, only helping him. Already he was beginning to feel free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter started out good, but as we reached the end it is not to my level of quality. Some pretty bad stuff hit me recently so I'm trying to cope with that. Anyways, you're not here to read my sob story, you're here for Eren's sob story! So because things are not great for me right now, the next chapter may take a while for me to upload. Longer than normal. Even this chapter took longer than it should have. Anyways I promise it's not dropped or on hiatus! Updates just won't be as fast as normal.


	9. Sasha  Brous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really don't want to post the TW because it will spoil this chapter. However, it's still not as bad as chapter 7 was, so I think if you're here by this point, you have a vague understanding of what TW's there are. But just to be safe:
> 
> TW: Read the paragraph above. Read. The. Tags!

Eren woke up in the same bed he slept into early afternoon. When he woke up he was alone, and started to panic. Had Jean’s friends abandoned him? Sold him out? Eren bolted up in a panic and ran to the door. Right when he threw it open, he came face to face with Niccolo and made them both flinch.

“Oh good you’re awake!” Niccolo smiled, he was holding a plate of steaming food. “I know we said we were going to leave early in the morning, but when we got up you were still fast asleep. You looked so tired, we didn’t want to disturb you.”

Eren breathed out relaxed and smiled. So they hadn’t abandoned him, they just let him sleep. “Oh, well thank you. I woke up worried you had left.”

“Nah, we wouldn’t do that to you.” Niccolo led him in and had him sit down to eat the breakfast he prepared. “Eat up and take your time. We’re really not in all that much of a hurry. Unless you are, that is.”

Eren was in a hurry to get to his brothers. His brother would keep him safe from Erwin. However Niccolo and Sasha treated him so kind and truly seemed to care about his wellbeing. He couldn’t refuse them, so instead he graciously ate what was given to him.

“Thank you.”

After Eren ate and freshened up, he confronted Sasha and Niccolo about leaving. They nodded and loaded up their wagon with their goods and what they purchased. The trip to Daupper Village was also a long but easy one. Eren got to know Sasha and Niccolo well, how they met, loved, married, and lived.

“I have to admit,” Eren spoke almost as if without thinking. “I’m so jealous. You two seem to love each other very much. Are you happy in your marriage?”  


Sasha looked at him confused. “Of course we love each other very much, of course we’re happy! You were married once, don’t you know?”

“My marriage was an unhappy one.” Eren shook his head. He thought back to Reiner and all the animosity they had. He wrapped his arms around his stomach. “My husband did not love me. He only loved my body. He was cruel and unpleasant! I know it’s a sin, but by the walls I’m so happy I’m widowed!”

All of the memories of Reiner’s abuse and the loss of his first baby flooded his mind. The sight of his stillborn baby was forever burned into his memory, clear as it was that moment. Why had he been so unlucky? Why had he been chained to Reiner while most people got to love normally.

Sasha’s next words ripped him from his thoughts: “You were married to soldier Braun, weren’t you? You’re the Gem of Shiganshina.”

“Don’t call me that!” Eren’s words were more forceful than he intended them to be. “I hate when people call me that! I’m only thought of as an object, something to be bought and sold, gawked at or fucked.”

“Oh no Eren, I’m so sorry!” Sasha was besides herself, trying to comfort him and assure she had no intention of objectifying him. “I didn’t mean it as in that’s all you are, I meant it more as like, you’re kind of a celebrity, you know? Word about Braun’s death and how you’re now single again spread fast.”

The more she spoke, the larger of a hole she dug for herself, and Eren grew increasingly more upset. She only felt worse.

“It's fine, Sasha.” Eren placed a hand on her arm and tried to comfort her. “You’re right, that is the truth. An unfortunate truth of a sad reality. I just don’t like being reminded of it.”

“Still, it was wrong of me not to ask.” Sasha leaned close and hugged him, to which he accepted. He trusted her, after all.

The ride to Daupper Village was also an easy let long one. Finding himself increasingly more tired, Eren slept most of the time, sandwiched between Sasha and Niccolo, who didn’t seem to mind as they talked most of the time. Eren would start to listen to their conversations, but he would never focus on what was being said, more that there was a comfortable noise that surrounded him.

It was late evening when they finally arrived, and Eren was gently shaken awake from off Sasha’s lap. “Good morning, sleepy head!”

Eren chuckled and yawned, sitting up and looking around. He was almost in shock to realize that they were in a forest. Daupper was in the middle of the woods, he’d seem to have forgotten. Not that he’s ever been there.

Eren was brought to the Braus family home, where his new friends lived. While there, he was introduced to Sasha’s father, a prominent hunter in the area. Reserved man, but he was respectful to Eren.

“Have you ever had venesion?” Sasha asked him. “Deer venison?”

“Huh?” Eren felt he was still half asleep. “No, I can’t say I have.”

“Well you’re in for a treat tonight!” Sasha laughed and pointed to the freshly hunted deer that her father shot. “Niccolo! Fire up the grill! It’s venison night!”

“You seem to love your food, huh?” Eren chuckled jokingly with her.

“To say she loves food is the understatement of the milenia.” Niccolo had a tone that seemed annoyed, but Eren didn’t miss the smile and red coloring to his cheeks as he talked about his wife. “She will eat you out of house and home if you are not careful.”

Everyone laughed, even Eren. For the first time in a very very long time, he felt a sense of ease, as if he were at home. Things finally felt right. He almost thought he could stay with the Braus family forever.

However, as with anytime he was finally feeling well, his mood turned immediately sour at one of the residents in the village shouting at him. “You! It’s you! How dare you come to plague our peaceful town! Do you know what you did? You will have the MP here in no time and we will all be dead!”

Eren had no clue what the man was talking about until he thrust a flyer in his face: WANTED Alive: Eren Jaeger-Braun on account of murder in the first degree, treason in the first degree. Underneath the writing was a sketch of Eren’s face and a large sum of reward money for whomever turned him into the scouts.

Fuck.

Erwin had moved fast. He falsely labeled Eren as a criminal so that he would be caught in exchange for a handsome reward. And of course it would not be the Military Police he’d be brought to, it would be Erwin.

Panic plagued Eren as he paced around. Sasha was looking at him worried. So he showed her the flyer. “I am innocent. I did not kill anyone and I did not commit treason! He wants me. He knows I left and now he;s hunting me. I am his prey.”

“Who?” Sasha brought him inside of her home so they could have some privacy from the hungry eyes of the villagers. “Who is hunting you?” She looked down at his stomach. He wasn’t showing much, but she knew. “Eren we can protect you here. Whoever it is won’t think to come to Daupper of all places! We can keep you and your baby safe.”

“It’s the commander.” Eren looked at her with wide, terrified eyes. “The commander of the Scouts, Erwin Smith. He wants me to marry him, but I don’t want to. That’s why I ran away. And he knows, and now he’s after me.”

“Did he do that to your head?” Sasha never missed the bandages underneath his hair.

“I need to get out of here.” Eren looked at the door. “I need to leave Daupper before you and Niccolo are hurt! I I need to write to my brother, he can help me. He’s the only one I know who can stand up to Erwin.”

“What you need is to calm down and realize that you’re safe, Eren.” Sasha was dragging him away from the door and had him sit on the couch. “We can get a note out to your brother, but in the meantime, you're safest here. In the middle of the woods.”

Eren didn’t want to, but he let Sasha calm him down. His anxiety never truly went away. Even as he enjoyed deer venison for the first time, slept in a warm bed, was surrounded by protecting woods, he never truly felt safe. 

Now he knew the true danger he was in, and not just him, everyone in the village. That one man had freaked out on him and showed him the true consequences. Staying with Sasha ment danger for everyone. No matter how she tried to convince him that he was safe, that she was going to make sure no one ratted them out, or that she would make sure he made it home safely. His fears never ceased.

Never ceased, but as time passed, it did get easier.

Sasha and Niccolo had decided with Eren that it would be best if he didn’t travel to his brothers, as Erwin would no doubt figure out his intentions. Instead he wrote a detailed note to Zeke, and had it delivered by mail. He also wrote to Levi.

His letter to Levi was no love letter, nothing to beg for his forgiveness and rescue. Levi could never rescue Eren, he had been foolish to think that. He may have lusted after the man, but he could not love him. He could never love again. 

Or so he thought. Jean, Connie, Sasha, and Niccolo had all shown him love. And of course, parents always loved their children. And he loved his child even if they were not yet born. Everything he was doing was for them.

Sasha had not lied when she said Daupper was safe. Hardly anyone from any branches of the military came by, and those who did, were from the Garrison visiting family. Even so, Eren couldn’t be too careful. He would stay cooped up in the house and do work there as Niccolo and Sasha did their own work. When outside of the house, he always wore a hood. Hardly anyone saw his face, and fewer knew anything else.

One evening, about a week after taking up residents with the Braus family, a teenager was out hunting with some friends and got wounded. There was no doctor in Daupper, so Sasha had volunteered to ride to the next town to fetch one.

Curiosity got the better of Eren and he went to see the damage. An arrow shot right into his shoulder. He was bleeding profusely, but the wound was relatively superficial. Eren had treated similar on the battlefield.

“You don’t need a doctor for a wound like this.” Eren knelt down next to the boy to inspect the wound closer. “No major arteries were hit. I can remove the arrow head and give him stitches.”

Amazingly, they had the supplies and sterile water he needed. It wasn’t an hour and the boy was sent home with instructions to keep it clean and report to Eren in the next week or two so he could monitor for infection. 

The mother was unbelievably grateful for his work, and asked if he was a medic. He told her, and soon Eren became the town nurse. He saw everyone for every little thing, and he loved it. To be able to finally be working again was a wonderful feeling. It brought him money to give to Sasha and Niccolo, helped solidify the townspeople's wishes for him not to be arrested, and kept him busy as the months passed.

Before he knew it, word was spreading of the Gem of Daupper village.

***

It was around noon, Levi had been up for hours training with Kenny. He was getting stronger by the moment, and Kenny noticed, saying he’d soon surpass him. Though they were equipped with guns, Kenny insisted on fighting with blades. Daggers, no less.

Levi found it immensely pointless, but he kept up at it as he thought of Eren. Their conversation from the previous night weighed heavily on him. Eren was pregnant, vulnerable, and scared of Erwin.

Levi had no idea how Erwin had reacted when Eren told him. If Eren told him. He thought a lot about that. Erwin was possessive, and obsessed with complete ownership of all he desired. And Eren’s fertility was no doubt something he desired. Levi could not imagine him raising the child of a dead whom he hated, even if it was for the parent of the child he did desire.

Levi was ripped from his thoughts when a knife flew next to his face and landed in the wall only centimeters away from him. He looked up to see the disapproving expression on his uncle.

“Hey Runt, you’re distracted.”  


“Tsk.” Levi pulled the knife out of the wall and chucked it back at Kenny. “Shut the fuck up, old man.”

“What’s on your mind?” Kenny seemed less upset, more curious. “Is it that pretty little Eren again?”

“I said shut up!”

Kenny laughed as Levi charged at him, clearly he struck the very nerve he was looking for. “Alright, so it is Eren! What’re you gonna do though? He is engaged to your best friend, afterall. Are you going to swoop him off his feet and steal him away?”

Kenny’s taunting was now angering Levi. He stopped their little dance and threw down his weapons. “I’m done talking to you!”

When Levi left, Kenny surprisingly didn’t chase him down. Tired, angered, and covered in disgusting sweat Levi headed straight for the nearest bath. However he was stopped before he reached his destination, two of the royal princesses spotted him and flagged him down.

“Lord Levi!” The eldest, Frida, called out to him. She was walking hand in hand with one of the middle children, Historia.

“Your majesty.” Levi saluted and bowed. He usually hated these formal gestures, but the majority of the royal Reiss family were very tolerable, so he didn’t mind. All except for Rod and his wife, that was.

“How’s training going?” Freda asked when they were closer. “I still can’t believe it took you this long to finally start working for the royal guard. Tell me, are you going to be my personal bodyguard?”

“I don’t know yet, princess.”

The two princesses laughed and Historia was the next to speak. “Anyways, we were actually looking for you. The mail came today and you have something.”

“I have mail?” Levi asked, baffled.

“We were thinking the same thing.” Historia reached out and handed Levi a letter. “You actually having a friend outside of Erwin and Hanji is a strange thought!”

“Boy don’t I know.” Levi couldn’t help but agree with her words. He did hate most people, afterall. He ripped open the letter and scanned the page.  
The letter wasn’t long, but it still managed to sink Levi.

_Levi, ___

____

____

_I am leaving Erwin behind. I do not love him. I cannot love him. His reaction to beat me when I told him about my pregnancy put me off the edge. I’m sorry, I know we had an agreement to wade it out and for you to help me escape, but if I don’t escape now, my baby will die. I do this not as your secret lover, but as a parent. I need to protect my child. ___

____

__

_Sincerely, Eren ___

____

____

Eren left. Erwin must be in a rage if Eren is gone. If he even escaped. Either way if he did or didn’t, it was going to end oh so horribly.

Before the princesses could question him further about his letter, Levi was already running down the hall, bolting through the door. He needed to do a lot of things: most of them included making sure Erwin didn’t act irrationally and figuring out how to find and protect Eren.

However he never left the castle. Or he didn’t have to, as right when he was walking through the front door, who stood there but Erwin. He looked disheveled and furious.

“Levi!” Erwin lunged forward and grabbed his shoulders. “Oh thank the Walls, I found you! I need your help.”

Levi knew exactly what Erwin wanted, but he knew if he made it known, Erwnin would suspect their affair. He better approach this carefully. “What do you need now, Erwin?”

“Eren is missing.”

“Eren is gone, huh?” Levi clicked his tongue and acted as if he were annoyed as usual. “Well did you look behind a door? He’s so skinny, he’s easy to lose.”

“His window was open this morning and he was gone!” Erwin hissed, he was starting to become angry. “I’m not sure how, but he’s gone! He left, escaped!”

“You make him sound as if he was your prisoner. Maybe that’s why he left.”

“Shut up, he willingly accepted my proposal.”

“Well did something happen?” Levi knew why Eren ran away, he wanted Erwin to admit it aloud. “Do you know why he was suddenly so uncomfortable around you that he took off?”

“I…” Erwin sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “He never told me that he was pregnant. It’s Braun’s, too. I guess I got a little upset.”

“You guess?” Levi exederated. “Please tell me you did not raise your hand to a pregnant, abused, and terrified Eren!”

Erwin was silent, his silence spoke volumes in a truth Levi was already privy too. He scoffed and turned around. “Well congratulations Erwin, even to this day you still drive people away.”

“Help me find him.”

“No.”

“Help me find him, damnit!” Erwin grabbed onto Levi’s arm and yanked him back. Levi just ripped away and stepped back. “I know you’re strong, you’re the new royal bodyguard!”

“What do I get out of it?” Levi asked as he stared Erwin doen. Or, up. “What do I get if I bring back your precious little trophy wife?”

“You can fuck him.”

“Excuse me?” Levi felt like he was slapped in the face by Erwin’s words.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Now it was Erwin’s turn to stare down Levi. “I see the way you look at him, notice how you act. You can pretend you don’t lust for Eren, but I know you well enough. You’re completely smitten with him.”

“You have the wrong idea.” Levi spat back. “And even if I did, Eren would surely choose me over you. Afterall, I didn’t beat him after I discovered the pregnancy.”

“You knew?!”

“Not the time Erwin.” Levi paused. “But do know, Eren can do better than you.”

Levi angered Erwin, yet he still needed the help. Levi agreed, but only so he could be the one to save Eren and whisk him away from danger. For the next two months they dedicated everything to steal back their precious Gem. 

However, nothing worked. Not the wanted ads, not the gossip, not the eavesdropping. Eren had somehow successfully completely escaped Erwin.  
Or so they thought.

***

The past two months had been the best Eren had ever had. He was working again, his passion for medicine revitalized. He was living with Sasha and Niccolo, who were now the best friends he’s ever had. And most importantly, Daupper was safe.

It was a small village so everyone knew everyone. As much as it first bothered him, he now realized how safe it made him feel, as he would walk around town without his hood and without fear. Everyone was very kind to him, and accepted him with open arms. For the first time, things were feeling right!

It was late evening, and Eren sat with Sasha and her family by a bonfire on the cliff next to their cabin. as Niccolo cooked their dinner. Sasha’s father had gotten into an accident at work, and his hand needed stitches. So Eren stitched him up and afterwards, they decided to have dinner.

Before the meat was even finished cooking, Sasha was stuffing her face with the potatoes and vegetables.

“Damn woman, do you ever stop eating?” Her father shook his head as he watched her.

“No.” Sasha, Niccolo, and Eren all answered together, laughing.

“She eats twice as much as the pregnant person around here!” Niccolo flipped a burger. “Now that I think of it: Sasha we are never having kids. I don’t want to think about what you’d eat in a day if you were pregnant and I don’t know if I could keep up with a second of your mouth!”

“You act like I care!” Sasha gulped down a steamed potato. “Besides, I’d rather just play Auntie to Eren’s baby.”

Eren laughed as she pulled him into a hug and laid her head on his abdomen. He patted her head. In truth he’d love to have his baby in Daupper. Safe in the woods, with Sasha and Niccolo to help him. As much as they never said it, they were excited for it too. They constantly talked about what it was going to be like with a child around.

“You seem, pretty excited Sasha.” Eren pointed out with a chuckle.

“Well I am!” Sasha admitted. “I think it’ll be great having a kid running around and causing trouble. I’m gonna give him so much sweets when you’re not around!”

“Of course you will.” Niccolo shook his head.

“Really, I’d think you’d eat all the sweets before they did.” Eren teased.

“Eh, you’re probably right.” Sasha sat up and looked at him. “So what genders are you hoping for?”

“Healthy.”

“Oh, come on, every parent wants that!”

“I mean it,” Eren sighed. He thought back to Reiner and all the pain he suffered at his hands. He just wanted his baby to be free. “I just want them to be happy and healthy.”

A comfortable silence fell upon them. Eren stared into the crackling flames, lost in thought. 

That was when they noticed it. A few loud bangs echoing from somewhere behind them. Everyone looked up and around.

“Probably just some kids hunting.” Sasha’s father assured.

“I don’t know Pops,” Sasha’s demeanor seemed to shift. “Those sounds were from closer to the center of the town.”  


“It’s still probably nothing.”

They tried to ignore it, but the echoing kept getting louder and closer. Sasha was still on edge. “That sounds like guns firing. Is something happening?”  


The four of them were now tense and silent. The gunshots louder. Too close to be hunters and too many to be just a few.

The next moment there was a flash, and suddenly members of the Military Police and Scout Regiments were upon them. One of them shouted: “Eren Braun! Stand up and surrender immediately!”

Panic fired in Eren, and he could not move. The was firing again, an MP had the barrel of their gun trained right into Eren, but his shot never hit him.

It was suddenly slow. Everything seemed to drag on as Eren watched Sasha jump in front of him and change at the MP, the bullet landing in the center of her chest. 

There was screaming. Eren was sure it was him, but as he reached out for Sasha, Niccolo shoved him out of the way, right over the cliff the house was near. He had saved Eren as he reached for his wife.

As Eren fell down the rocky ledge, he could hear Niccolo and Sasha’s father screaming her name. He was certain he was too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all really expected me to let Eren be happy for too long? Don't worry, it will only get worse before it gets better!


	10. Captured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I do not want to put TW's because it will spoil this chapter so I will post this warning instead:
> 
> TW: Check the tags! Very VERY graphic chapter! I fully expect to lose more readers for this! Very dark, very graphic!

Eren crashed to the dirt floor with a loud thud and a pained groan. The cliff was not very large or steep, and he landed on his back. It hurt, but he was just grateful that he didn’t land face down. That had happened once while pregnant, and the results were devastating. 

At the pain in his back, Eren wanted to lay still until it numbed, but the sound of bullets and more shouting above him reminded him that he had to get up, keep running, keep fighting. Keep moving forward.

Eren scrambled to his feet and started running into the woods. He threw the hood of his thick coat over his head as he ran. Unfortunately, even with the adrenaline coursing through his veins, forcing him forward, his body slowed him down and tired him out.

He was five months along now, getting bigger and getting slower. Not to mention becoming increasingly more top heavy. Still, he pushed himself forwards.

Pretty soon, Eren could hear the sounds of soldiers jumping down the cliff he fell from. He had no idea where he was going, and knew that being pregnant and out of shape, Eren could never outrun the soldiers.

However he could hide.

Eren searched around and managed to find some large rocks, he ducked down behind them, but knew that wouldn’t conceal him, even in the dark, the soldiers had torches. So he dug under the dead leaves and dirt, trying his best to crawl under the ground to hide better.

He froze when he heard footsteps approaching. Soldiers walking around the woods, searching. Eren held his breath. He couldn't breathe, lest he be heard. Even with his breathing stopped, his heart beat so loudly he was sure the soldiers heard it.

Footsteps got closer, light from a torch came into his peripheral vision. He willed himself not to look. Not to move. He would stay still as long as humanly possible. It was what he had to do for his baby, what he had to do to repay Niccolo for pushing him off the cliff and giving him a head start, and Sasha sacrificing her life to save them.

Eren felt tears well in his eyes. Whether it was from the pain of knowing that he killed Sasha or the petrifying fear of being caught, he did not know. He held his hands tightly over his mouth to muffle any sounds.

The soldier began to approach him, he was on the side that Eren was on, and Eren prayed that he bought his rock disguise. The soldier stopped right next to him. Panic was all Eren knew as he willed him not to see through his flimsy disguise.

“Find anything!” A soldier from a distance away called out.

“Nothing yet!” Called another soldier, who was closer, but not the one standing right next to Eren.

Then, all of a sudden, the soldier next to him walked right past him and into the woods. Eren felt as if he could jump for joy. He had been spared. 

However his moment of joy was quickly squandered when another soldier walked close, very close, was even closer to where the last stood. 

Time seemed to stop, seconds felt like hours as he waited for the soldier next to him to do something, anything to signal he wasn’t waiting to pounce on Eren. He never did.

Slowly, footsteps got louder and louder, closer and closer. Eren’s heart sank. _Please no. Oh please Dear Goddesses above no! ___

__His prayers fell on deaf ears, as a soldier knelt right in front of him, ran a hand under the dirt and under his coat hood to grab his hair, and pulled him up to look eye to eye._ _

__“Good evening, pretty little Emerald.”_ _

__Eren was beyond mortified as he stared right into those dilated and hungry eyes. He was already tearful, but now they were streaming down his cheeks, matting the dirt and grime to his face. He had been caught. And now, he was going to be taken back to Erwin to be beat and possibly forced to have an abortion. That was, if Erwin was kind._ _

__“Please…” Eren’s voice was but a whisper. “Please don’t do this.”_ _

__“Don’t do what, Emerald?” The soldier snickered, there were now about a dozen or more other soldiers surrounding them, trapping Eren._ _

__Eren whimpered, he wanted to talk but found he couldn’t utter a word. The soldier with his hand in Eren’s hair laughed loudly._ _

__“Hey boys! Come take a look at this catch!” Eren’s head was yanked back by his hair and the other soldiers all took a close look at him. “Mighty pretty if you ask me. Really more pretty than the rumors spoke of! Guess I know why you were referred to as the ‘Gem’ of Shiganshina. Well honey, you’re not in Shiganshina anymore. So why don’t you share a little bit of that priceless quality to the rest of us hard working folks, eh?”_ _

__Eren was beyond frightened as the two soldiers at his side each grabbed one of his arms. The one in front of him let go of his hair at that point, but the relief of his hair being let loose was forgotten as Eren yelped when the man grabbed his groin and groped him_ _

__All the soldiers laughed at Eren’s humiliation. Why were they doing this? Weren’t they hired to just capture him and drag him back to Erwin?_ _

__“Well we have more time than I expected to take you back.” The soldier chuckled and started fondling Eren far more roughly to the point of pain. “Why don’t we have a bit of fun before we head back.”_ _

__The man let go of Eren but his hand immediately moved to unbuckle his own belt. Eren knew what was happening and he jerked in fear as a few other soldiers that surrounded them yanked his pants down._ _

__“No, stop!” Eren yelled out and shivered at the chill of cold air against his bare skin. The next thing he knew, he was forcibly bent over the rocks he was hiding agents.  
__

__The soldier laughed and the next thing he knew, the disgusting soldier’s erection was forcibly shoved into him, eliciting a loud drawn out scream. Eren was now sobbing, unable to contain himself. The pain was too much to bear._ _

__He was held down by the two soldiers who held his arms and the disgusting man behind him was moaning as he thrust his cock in and out of Eren. Every thrust was horrid, every movement radiating nothing but unpleasantness._ _

__The soldier’s breathing and pace began to quicken. He was soon moaning loudly and crashing his hips against Eren’s as he fucked him mercilessly. However instead of just reaching orgasm and getting it over with, the man pulled out of Eren and flipped him onto his back against the rocks._ _

__“You’re a good little cum slut, huh?” The soldier taunted as different soldiers moved to grab Eren’s legs, forcing them apart. “Looks like you’re knocked up like the good little breeder bitch you are.”_ _

__His cock was once again forced into Eren’s sore entrance, eliciting a scream. He was in so much pain as the man above him stretched him out past the point of tearing. The sound of skin peeling and ripping was far more brutal than the pain that seared though Eren as his walls were destroyed._ _

__The soldier was back to forcing Eren to take his cock. Thrusting in deeply and groaning louder and louder with each gyration of the hips. He didn’t last long, and pretty soon he spilled his disgusting seed into Eren._ _

__Painting above him, the soldier eventually pulled out and redid his pants. Eren meanwhile, breathed a sigh in relief. The sex was over. Exhaustion krept up upon him.  
__

__However his nightmare was not over. As soon as Eren rested his head back against the stone he was forced agents, he heard the first man shout: “Who’s next?!”_ _

__All of the men spasmed and demanded that they be next. Eren was in a daze, completely out of it. He only woke up to reality when another cock was being slammed into him. This time, a new disgusting face beaming down upon him as he was fucked into the stone._ _

__There were about a dozen men, those who weren’t balls deep into Eren, yelled from the sides as they all waited to take their turn with Eren._ _

__So many peinises shoved into him, so many shouting faces, so much happening at once. It wasn’t long before Eren was full on sobbing once again._ _

__The sex was brutal. At first, Eren thought if he could shut off his mind, he would reach peace as he waited for the gang above him to quit. As soon as he tried though, more things ripped him from his thoughts._ _

__The rest of his clothes were pulled over his head and discarded, leaving him bare naked against the cold earth. More hands roamed his body. At some point, he was sure every set of hands was on his skin, fighting for an opportunity to caress his bruised flesh._ _

__Eren tried to cover his upper body when exposed, but a mouth came from behind and clamped down onto the skin on his neck. Eren screamed but it was not just one mouth that came for him. Other mouths were kissing, liking, sucking, biting all over his skin. The first soldier from before even stealing the opportunity to place his own lips agents Eren’s._ _

__Eren was sure he was dehydrated by now from the amount he had been crying. He didn’t kiss back the soldier, instead he looked away as he waited for the soldiers to take their turns with him._ _

__It felt like it was forever before every man who tormented Eren was satisfied. Eventually, Eren was shoved away and dropped naked on the cold ground. Blood and cum gushing out of him like a volcano. Bruises and cuts littered his skin. His backside completely demolished, torn to shreds and spewing large amounts of blood._ _

__Eren felt like he was going to die right then and there. Yet death and life were cruel mistresses, as the next thing Eren knew, the soldiers who just finished brutalizing him were shoving him back into his clothes._ _

__Now fully dressed again, another hand was in his hair, yanking Eren to his feet. He groaned, he was so weak he felt he could hardly stand, but he was given no option. Forced forward Eren followed the soldiers and they dragged him back into the heart of Daupper Village._ _

__Daupper. How at peace and at safety Eren had felt staying there. Alas, all good things must come to an end. Or at least, Eren was not allowed to relish in any good things. He was forced forwards and shoved into a carriage. It wasn’t long before some soldiers cuffed his hands behind his back, and each sat at his sides as they made their way back to the capital._ _

__The entire time, Eren was not given anything to eat. He was thankfully allowed the toilet when they stopped. The throbbing pain never went away. He even started to feel guilt as blood would pool around where he sat, seeping through his clothes. He would feel dizzy, and completely out of it._ _

__Eren was convinced he would succumb to his wounds, but somehow, he survived all the way to the capital and back in front of Erwin Smith._ _

__Eren was dropped onto the marble flooring of Erwin’s lavish home. Blood and other fluids still leaked out of him through his soaked pants. He could barely keep awake as he laid on the ground in unspeakable pain that throbbed through his lower half._ _

__He heard the clicking of Erwin’s shoes on the polished floor approach him. He didn’t have to look up and he knew Erwin was soon kneeling next to him. A hand ran through his matted hair and forced him to look up at Erwin._ _

__“My, you don’t look too good.”_ _

__Eren’s breath was raspy. “Fuck you.”_ _

__“Oh I will, don’t you worry.” Erwin clicked his tongue and scanned over Eren. “You know, this would never have happened if you didn’t attempt to run away. Why did you even try?”_ _

__“I needed to protect my baby.” Eren focused his eyes to glare up at Erwin. “You would never understand.”_ _

__“You did all of this for a brat Reiner Braun put in you?” Eren stood up and towered above him. “You ran away, got one of your dear little friends killed, the rest arrested, and then you let yourself get gang raped, all for Reiner Braun’s spawn.”_ _

__“I told you that you would never understand.” Eren closed his eyes. He was tired, and he had lost a lot of blood. “I didn’t do anything for Reienr, I did it all for _my _baby. To save _my _child from _you _.”_______ _

________Eren wasn’t sure if Erwin even heard all he said, as his last words died on his lips when darkness clouded his mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________***_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A clue came from Daupper Village. A small hunting village in the middle of the woods. A rumor was spreading of a new nurse in Daupper, one who would treat all the townsfolk best he could so they could avoid having to travel for a doctor. Ordinarily, that wouldn’t raise suspicion, but the details that he was very beautiful and expecting a child was what solidified it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Levi had received another letter from Eren. It also wasn’t long, it was a goodbye and reassurance that he was well wherever he was. That didn’t stop Levi from being determined to find him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________However, it was Erwin who got a hold of the rumors first and sent a squad out to Daupper. He instructed them to arrest Eren and those who had been housing him, if anyone resisted, kill them, but not Eren. Eren was to be taken back alive, even if he had to be beaten up and brutalized, bringing Eren back alive was all that was required._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And they did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eren was badly wounded and severely hypovolemic when returned, so Erwin immediately sent for the best doctors and medical staff to work on Eren round the clock. Eren was out cold for a few days as his wounds were treated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Levi was in the basement cellar of the palace where Eren was still housed for arrest. All the medical supplies he needed locked away with him. He sat in a chair next to the bed, staring at all the tubing that Eren was hooked up to. His face was still filthy and matted, no one had bothered to clean off his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Levi got up and grabbed some wet washcloths before going over to Eren and gently wiping off his face. Levi was impressed that even in his worst state, Eren was still so goddamned Ethereal. Levi suspected he was a type of celestial being of some sort._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Once his face was cleaned off, Levi felt somewhat satisfied. However he was in a rage at what Erwin allowed the military to do to Eren. Were he able to, Levi would sweep Eren up right away and escape out of the country. Never to be bothered by Erwin again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m sorry Eren,” Levi leaned down and whispered. “I couldn’t protect you…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Levi gently placed his lips agents Eren’s. His lips were no longer soft, they were coarse and chapped, and tasted like stale whisky. Levi’s hand moved to cup his face and thumb over the bite marks that littered his neck. The sight enraged Levi and made him want to hunt down every soldier who hurt his precious Eren and chop their dicks off. He would too. For Eren._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That was when a dreaded realization hit Levi: did he love Eren?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________No. No. He couldn’t. He couldn’t love, he knew that from day one. He was in love with how damn sexy Eren was, was in love with that marvelous face and those outstanding emerald eyes. He could never say he was _in love _with Eren. He dreamed of only his body.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He pushed aside the intrusive thoughts of wanting to see Eren smile for the first time, wanting to see the relief in his eyes as he held his child, wanting to hear Eren laugh. Wanting to watch him fall into a comfortable sleep on the couch, his head in Levi’s lap as the shorter man would comb his fingers through his long hair.  
__________

___He pushed those thoughts away, but they were persistent, and never gave up. And all hours of the day Levi would have different images of Eren in his head. He wanted to stare at them all forever._ _ _

__________Oh goddesses, was he in love?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Levi was snapped from his thoughts and he let go of Eren when he heard the door open. He looked back to see Erwin and the tall, blond, monkey-looking man he met at Braun’s funeral: Zeke Jaeger._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fucking hell I knew this was going to end badly!” Zeke approached his brother and shoved Levi out of the way, angering the shorter man. “Lookit my darling baby brother, look at what you did to him!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I didn’t do a thing to him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Bullshit!” Zeke fumed at Erwin. “Even if Eren had not written to me, I would have come to his rescue regardless. I knew there was no way you could treat him good. And now look at what you allowed to happen to him!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“He brought this upon himself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh really?” Zeke was now in Erwin’s face, only inches from him. “Wanting to escape a second abusive relationship that threatened the life of his child is his fault? Eat my ass!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh shut up!” Erwin groaned. “You know nothing. You’ve been divorced twice, and if you knew about Eren’s situation with Braun, why didn’t you do a thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I don’t have to answer to you.” Zeke ran a hand through Eren’s long and tangled hair. “My sweet Eren. This is just like last time. This should never have happened.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Get out of here, Jaeger.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Not without my brother.” Zeke moved to sit in the chair Levi was in and crossed his arms. “I’m never leaving my brother with you again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fine, you want to play this game?” Erwin threatened. “You’re under arrest for trespassing, breaking and entering, and attempted kidnapping.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Psht,” Zeke snorted. “You think that will stop me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Levi got sick of their arguing and grabbed Zeke by the shoulder. “Let’s go.” Levi shoved him out of the room kicking and screaming. Once outside the cellar and a ways away from it, Levi whispered to Zeke: “Play along and I will help you get Eren out of there.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________All of a sudden Zeke’s domineer changed. He wasn’t happy about the idea of cooperating with Levi, but he would do everything in his power to save Eren. Even it meant being locked up in a jail cell for the time being._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________***_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Eren groaned in pain as he slowly came too. His head was foggy and he couldn’t remember where he was or what was going on. All his brain would register was that his lower half felt like he was on fire. He shifted and tried to move, but was so lethargic he could only roll his head from side to side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When he opened his eyes and got a good look of his surroundings, he noticed he was in a jail cell hooked up to medical equipment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________At first he wondered how he got there, but the memories soon flooded back. Of his escape, Daupper Village, the Brous family, Sasha, Sasha getting shot to save him, being shoved over the edge of a cliff, running away and hiding from the Military Police. Getting caught. Raped. Shipped back to Erwin.  
__________

___Erwin._ _ _

__________Eren gasped and tried to sit up, but the mix of pain and soreness kept him down. He reached down one hand to his abdomen. He needed to know. Dear Goddesses, he prayed that they were still alive._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The stillness of his abdomen was tense, but finally, Eren could recognize movement. Slight kicking against his insides. He gasped in relief and immediately broke down into tears again. They were alive, his baby was still alive._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Now having enough strength to roll over to one side, Eren curled around his abdomen. A soft chuckle bubbled on his lips. He may not have achieved his goal of escaping and living free with his baby, but they were alive._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re a fighter, huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who's actually still here? Why didn't I completely scare away? Like four people? OK. This chapter was dark as hell but you know what, NOW it's time for things to pick up for Eren! I said before it'll only get worse before it gets better, maybe we're moving towards the better!


	11. Prisoner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long as is not up to my usual standards of quality. It's exam season and I have two finals back to back next week so I haven't had a lot of time for writing. 
> 
> TW: Mentions of past abuse, mentions of past gang rape, kind-of emotional manipulation

It was raining out and Eren could hear the tapping of the water on his jail cell window. He used to love sitting out in the rain as a child. He thought back to when he and Zeke were younger, how they would play out in downpours, angering their parents when they would then go back inside, dragging mud everywhere. Even as an adult Eren would love to sit out in the rain. It was usually so cold, but it felt refreshing. In the summertime, warm downpours were heavenly. 

Reiner used to call him weird, until one wonderful night, in the late summer heat during a sudden onset of downpour, Eren dragged Reiner out to enjoy the warm rain. Sure enough, Reiner loved every second of it. The two of them ran around their backyard, in a playful mud fight when Eren chucked a chunk of dirt at Reiner. 

By the time their little game was done, they laid on the wet grass laughing at how filthy they got and how much fun they had. Reiner was gentle and loving when he pulled Eren into a kiss, and Eren reciprocated it just as kindly. It was probably one of the only times in their marriage that they actually made love instead of just fucked.

Eren smiled at the warm memory. Wanting to be closer to the rain, he got up from where he sat and reached up for the cellar window, trying to see if he could get it open, even a crack, just to feel the cold water dripping on his skin.

However the chain and cuff around his swollen ankle kept him from getting further than just touching the window. Eren groaned, he was completely caged. Locked in a jail cell, chained by an ankle cuff, still hooked to IVs and a catheter, and unable to move more than a meter.

Eren was ripped from his thoughts when his cell door was unlocked, allowing Erwin entry into his cell.

“Eren,” Erwin started as he approached Eren. “How are you feeling today.”

“Better whenever you’re not around.” Eren backed back, he had no intention in being nice or compliant with Erwin anymore. “If you’ve come to fuck me, you can’t. Doctor said my stitches still need a few weeks to heal. Although, not like that will stop you.”

Erwin sighed and sat a dinner plate on the table next to Eren’s bed. “You have an attitude. Now I understand why your previous husband had to punish you so much.”

“And you are a spineless, sad, little rapist man with eyebrows bigger than your dick.” Eren stared right up into Erwin’s eyes. His insults only earned him a slap on the face. “And you wonder why I don’t love you.”

“I’m starting to wonder if dealing with you is worth my time.”

“Good!” Eren laughed a little. “Why didn’t you come to that conclusion sooner?”

Erwin didn’t have anything to respond with, so instead he picked up an apple from the plate he brought Eren and held it in front of him. “Are you hungry?”

“No.” Eren lied.

“Well you will be soon.” Erwin set the apple down and approached Eren. “You’re still so beautiful…”

“I hate it when you call me that.”

“Why? Don’t lose little bithces like you enjoy being called pretty?” Erwin said in a snarky voice as he tried to pull Eren close to him.

“That. That is exactly why. The way you talk, the way you refer to me.” Eren tried to shove Erwin off, but he wasn’t strong enough. “You speak of me as if I am only some object. Well I am not just some object made only for your enjoyment."

“Really? Because I beg to differ.” When Eren tried to pull out of his grip, Erwin grabbed his jaw and pulled his face to look up at him. “We could have had a happy marriage. We could be a great couple. We could be so much, but you just don’t listen. You keep defying me.”

“The only thing I ever did in defiance besides tell you no when you violated me was trying to save my own child from your wrath.” Eren yanked his face away. “I wouldn’t call that defiance.”

“You realize you can’t live without me, right?” Erwin finally let Eren go, and he scrambled as far away from Erwin as all his chains and tubes would allow. “You still have Reiner’s debt and I won’t give you his pension if you leave. Now, trying to be a single parent and raise a child on less than squalor is impossible, you understand that, right?”

“I don’t care.” Eren faced away from him. “You are cruel and will not treat me or my child well. I will not abort them and I will not give them up for adoption.

“If you truly loved me like you said you would not have hit me when I told you I was expecting. If you really do want me to be cooperative to your taste, then treat my baby as your own.”

Erwin was silent for a while before he sighed and walked out of the cellar, leaving Eren alone. Finally he was alone again. Eren sat in the chair at the table where his dinner was set. He didn’t trust what Erwin might have put in his food, but he was hungry.

Before Eren could reach for the apple, he was startled by the noise of the doors opening again, and a member of the Military Police approaching him.

“What the fuck do you want now?” Eren confronted the MP. “Get out! Leave me alone! Haven’t I suffered enough?”

“Yes you have, and for that I am so so sorry.”

Eren gasped and got up, he recognized that voice, that sandy hair, that horse face. “Jean!”

Eren ran over to the cellar doors and reached beyond the bars as Jean grabbed his hands. “I didn’t know you’re an MP.”

“I didn’t know you’re pregnant.” Jean looked at him distraught. His face was pale and he looked sickly. “Oh goddesses Eren, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” With the arm not chained to any IVs, Eren reached out through the bars and cupped Jean’s cheek. “You couldn’t have known. I didn’t tell you that I was on the run from an abusive relationship. With Commander Smith no less…”

“It’s not that.” Jean bit his lip and looked away. “Some of the other MP’s, men I work with, I heard them talking. About what they did. To you. I heard those pigs brag! Brag about what they put you through before bringing you back to the commander!”

Jean was rambling and Eren hushed him. “Shhh… It’s ok. You didn’t know that would happen. None of us did. Besides, Sasha’s dead because of me.”

Now it was Eren’s turn to be shameful as Jean comforted him. “It’s like you said, we didn’t know. None of us did! It’s not your fault, Eren.”

There was now a silence between them as Eren and Jean stared into each other's eyes and held hands through the cell bars. Jean held Eren’s hand up to his face and nuzzled and kissed over his palm. Eren in turn thumbed his face.

“I wish I didn’t leave you alone.” Jean whispered, looking right into Eren’s eyes. “I’m partly to blame. Can you ever forgive me?”

“There’s no need to ask for forgiveness for something you can’t control.”

Jean kissed Eren’s hand a few more times before he excused himself to return to work. Eren smiled after him. He hoped Jean would forgive himself.

***

More monotonous hours passed and Eren laid in bed, bored, staring out his tiny window. He could almost fall asleep, if not for another visitor making their way to confront him.

Eren looked up to face Levi.

They were silent for a while, watching the other through the cell bars. Finally Eren spoke. “You must be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry, Eren.” Levi assured him. “I do wish you had reached out to me first, but I understand why you ran.”

“So then what do you want from me?”

“Eren.” Levi looked into those green orbs and felt vulnerable as he spoke. “When I first met you I was blown away. You’re so gorgeous I couldn’t get you off my mind. I still can’t. I wanted to sleep with you, but just sex wouldn’t be enough. Eren I… Really like you. I want to see you smile, I want to hear you laugh, I want to know that you’re at ease. Eren, may I court you?”

There was silence. Then a soft giggling came from Eren. It soon erupted into a light chuckle then a loud and harsh laugh.

“You want to court me huh?” Eren laughed. “Oh what a joke! You already admitted that all you want is to sleep with me, so just admit that’s still all you want.”

“It’s not! Eren I swear--”

“Oh shut up!” Eren had gotten up from his bed and paced back and forth in the tiny area he was confined to. “You can’t fool me, that’s all anyone wants from me! Let’s face it, I’m just an object! A pretty doll to show off as a trophy husband, a fuck toy, a breeder bitch. Nothing more.”

Eren wrapped his arms around himself and his abdomen, holding his unborn child close. That was when it hit Levi, what he was going to do. Eren’s broken heart was what he desired, but just asking for it alone he’d never get. He would earn Eren’s love.

As much as Levi wanted to just tell Eren how much he loved him right then and there, he stopped himself. He backed away from the cellar and Eren glanced back at him.

“You do not want to hear what I have to say right now.” Levi told him. “Just know this: your brother is here and also locked up. He wants to take you away from Erwin just as much as I, but he’s also been arrested for his efforts. I’ll make sure you get to speak with him.”

With that, Levi turned on his heel and walked out. Eren called out to him, but he ignored the one he loved. Right now he had a mission.

Walking out of the cellar and over to where Erwin was reviewing paperwork, he approached him. “Erwin. We need to speak.”

“What now Levi?” Erwin didn’t bother looking up from his work. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“I want to adopt Eren’s child.”

Erwin dropped his work immediately and looked up at Levi. “What the fuck.”

“You clearly do not want to raise a child that is not yours,” Levi crossed his arms. He was adamant about this. “Well I do. I want to adopt Eren and Braun’s child that Eren is carrying right now.”

“Absolutely not, you will not adopt Eren’s child.” Erwin spat back vehemently. “You hate children. I see right through you, you’re just trying to steal Eren from me!”

“Alright! You caught me!” Levi held up his hands in defeat. “I think I would make a better husband to Eren than you.”

“You fucking trator.” Erwin stood up so he could tower over Levi. “How dare you. How fucking dare you. Eren is mine, so don’t even get any funny ideas.”

“Too late.” And with that, Levi turned on his heel and left.

***

It was about two weeks after Eren’s strange encounter with Levi, and Eren couldn’t get the man out of his mind. What was he planning on? Eren didn’t know yet he fantasized about many things. All of them centering around Levi being his escape from Erwin’s hell.

Oh goddesses, was Eren falling in love with Levi?

No. No, couldn’t be. His heart was long shattered and the fragments buried with Reiner. Yet Eren found he couldn’t deny the warm feelings he got when Levi talked to him so earnestly. He couldn’t deny that aside from his escape, his only comfort was in Levi’s arms.

Perhaps his romanticized mind was overreacting to what Levi had said earlier. The genuineness of his words were not lost on Eren. However he wished they were. He wished he could be cold as ice as he pushed everyone away. It was always the people he loved, like Sasha, Niccolo, and Jean that were hurt. Surely, his misfortune would hurt Levi too.

No. Eren did not love Levi. Eren could not love anymore and refused to believe otherwise. Yet he still couldn’t deny, a life with Levi would be less painful than a life with Erwin. They had only known each other for only a few months, yet Eren felt as if he could trust Levi wholeheartedly.

Did he love Levi?

The emotions that swelled in Eren’s head were giving him a headache. He already wasn’t feeling well. He was sweating profusely despite being freezing cold, and he was so nauseous nothing that went down his throat stayed down.

Eren curled up on the hard mattress, he felt as if he were spinning. He wished he could just sleep, but sleeping was all he did as of late as he was confined to his jail cell.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard footsteps approach his cell. It was either Erwin, Jean, or Levi. Well, he was partly right, as the bodies of Levi and Zeke came into view.

“Zeke!” Eren got up and ran to the cellar door to hug his caring bother through the metal bars. To his surprise, Levi used the key to open the door and allow the siblings to hold onto one another. “Oh Zeke, I’m so happy to see you.”

Eren buried his face in Zeke’s chest as his older brother pulled him into a gentle embrace. “Oh Eren, how I’ve missed you so.”

Eren smiled and pulled away slightly, he had known Zeke was arrested and he would be seeing him soon, he just hadn’t known when. “What are you doing here?”

“I want to help you.” Zeke looked back and nodded at Levi. “We want to help you.”

Eren looked at Levi, his dull eyes entranced by Levi’s silver orbs. Maybe it was the swell of raw emotions that plagued him, maybe it everything else. Either way, Eren found himself breaking away from the arms of his brother and crossing over to Levi, embracing him next.

“Tell me,” Eren whispered. “Why is it that I cannot hate you like I want to. Why do I actually believe the lies you tell me. Why am I drawn to you.”

“Eren,” Levi held Eren close and stroked his cheek, his face was flushed and his cheeks hot. “I love you.”

“I think I love you.” Eren sniffled, he was starting to tear up. “Why? My heart is shattered. Why do I love you?”

Levi smiled. Just hearing that Eren loved him. Or at least, felt something akin to those strong emotions enthralled him. The thought of living with and loving Eren was exactly what Levi had been missing in his dull life that he had not realized. And Levi’s cool and collected distance was what brought Eren comfort in a world that smothered him in lust.

Eren was the one to lean down and initiate the kiss that Levi so lovingly returned. It was everything he dreamed of. Eren’s sweet velvet skin against his, their confessions out in the open. It was heavenly.

That was when he noticed it. Levi pulled away and looked at Eren, who looked back at him confused behind a flushed face. 

“What’s wrong?” Eren asked, concerned. “Did did I do something?”

“Your face is very red.” Levi pointed out as he started feeling Eren over. “Are you hot?”

“No,” Eren answered, and Levi had just noticed that he was shaking. “I’m freezing, actually.”

Oh no. Levi was no medical expert but he knew something was wrong immediately. “Zeke go fetch a doctor.”

“But I’m a prisoner. Supposed to be locked up--”

“Now!” Levi shouted as he pulled Eren close to his chest. At first Eren tried to insist he was fine but he soon collapsed agitans Levi. That was all the encouragement Zeke needed to run out and search for a doctor.

Levi helped Eren lay back in bed, and it wasn’t long at all before Zeke came running back in with the personal doctor Erwin hired to treat Eren’s wounds. Right away when the doctor looked at Eren, he declared Zeke and Levi to go to alert the rest of the medical staff and rush them in, to which they did.

The medical team started fussing about Eren right away. When Levi asked what was going on, the doctor said something about an infection that wasn’t treated properly that had spread.

Oh no. Was Eren going to die? Levi didn’t know, but he prayed to goddesses he didn’t believe in that Eren would make it out alive. Until then, all Levi could do was wait and think over how he and Eren had confessed to each other. How if--when--Eren made it out alive, Levi would pursue a relationship with him. Erwin be damned, Levi was going to be the one to hold Eren’s hand in marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full discloser, I did not like this chapter but I waned to get the next chapter out. I liked parts of it, like Eren standing up to Erwin, Jean's interaction with Eren, and Eren coming to realization that he's falling for Levi and their confession. But I will admit: I do not think I am good at wring character development. I think I did ok with the chemistry between Eren and Levi, but I don't know if my buildup was strong enough or too rushed. Let me know what you all think!


	12. Blessing of the Goddess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm finally back with another chapter! Yay! My exams are done and I passed! Please enjoy what I wrote while crying to lectures to.

_He was running. Running as fast as his swollen legs could carry him. The night was dark and the forest was cold. Tree branches reached out and scratched his face as he ran, but he just kept running._

_Eventually, he tripped over a tree stump and fell face first against the trunk. He could hear the sounds of men running after him, see the glow of their torches. He had to keep moving forward._

_When he tried to get up, the roots from trees wrapped around him and pulled him into the ground. He was ensnared. No. No this couldn’t be how it ended. He still had his baby to care for. He can’t go like this._

_The footsteps and the voices were growing louder and louder and he struggled harder and harder. No matter how he struggled, he would not be let free._

_Suddenly the branches were wrapping around him tighter, to the point of pain. The rough texture pulling the fabric of his clothes apart. Incredibly thick roots wrapped around his legs and up his thighs, threatening to pull his legs apart._

_More panic, and he started struggling even harder. He was screaming now. He had given away his location. Giving up, he bit down on his lip and prepared for the worst._

_But it never came._

_After stillness, he cracked his eyes open. To his amazement, the being standing in front of him was no large and burly soldier. It was a little girl._

_The girl stood there. Silent and still. She held a bucket in her hands and stared down at him where he lay. He tried to sit up to see her better, and found the roots that had previously held him down were now completely gone, allowing him to sit up and slump against the tree._

_“Are you lost? Are you ok?”_

_He slowly rose to his feet and approached the girl. She started to back away so he stopped. He stood still as a statue as he allowed her to watch his every move before he sank to his knees._

_“I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.” The girl seemed to be warming up to him already, as she started to approach him. He smiled. “What’s your name?”_

_She didn’t answer._

_“Are you lost?” He tried._

_She didn’t make a move for quite a while. Eventually, she finally spoke. “Yes.”_

_“That I can help you.” He smiled. “I can take you back home if you’d like.”_

_“You already have.” Before he could question her, the girl had jumped into his arms, and he was now holding her close._

_He was no longer standing in the dark, cold, woods in the middle of the night. Now he stood in a beautiful parlor room, the sun glistening through the window as it rested warmly on him as he laid back on a sofa and held the girl close._

_He looked down at her in his arms. She was awake, nestled into his chest. “Are you ok?”_

_“Of course I am.” She answered. “I am always well in your arms. You are good to me. You have been one of my favorites since before you were born.”_

_He was completely lost. What was she saying?_

_“You have gone through hardship after hardship for me.” She continued. “I am grateful for all that you have blessed me with. So I wish to bless you. My faithful servant. My devout worshipper. Eren Jaeger, you will always carry the blessing of the Goddess Ymir.” ___

__

__***_ _

__

__Eren was out cold for a few hours following treatment of an undiagnosed infection. When he was attacked the other night, some of the stitching was not performed properly and led to an infection. Somehow, by merical of the goddesses, it was caught in time and both Eren and his child were spared._ _

__They were staying on the medical ward of the palace, and Levi found he spent all his free time at his side. Awaiting the moment he would wake up._ _

__Finally, after several hours of agony, Eren opened his eyes and glanced around from side to side._ _

__“Mn, where where am I?” Eren coughed in a scratchy voice._ _

__“The palace's medical ward,” Levi told him as he reached out to hold one of Eren’s hands. “You had an infection.”_ _

__“Hm, not surprised.” Eren looked at Levi. “Why are you here?”_ _

__“To be with you, of course.” Levi told him. He moved closer to the bed and combed a hand though Eren’s long hair. “How do you feel?”_ _

__“Kind of out of it.” Eren admitted. Right after, his eyelids slid shut again and he was out for another few hours._ _

__Eren would wake up several times for no longer than five minutes over the next few days. He was not lucid very long as the degree of illness he suffered mixed with the medications pulled him into an almost coma like state._ _

__Eventually, as he healed and as the drugs wore off, Eren could stand to be awake for longer._ _

__Levi had fallen asleep with his upper half on Eren’s bed. When he roused, he looked up into Eren’s green eyes._ _

__“Morning,” Eren’s bright green eyes appeared to almost glow in the darkness. “Or should I say evening? I’m not sure what time it is, I just know it’s dark.”_ _

__“Not like it really matters,” Levi yawned and sat up, Eren watched him like a hawk. “Are you not tired?”_ _

__“I’ve slept enough lately. I’m not tired.”_ _

__“I suppose that’s fair.” Levi took a closer look at Eren. He was still hooked up to tubes and wires, several think cords were taped to his chest. “Are you uncomfortable?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“I bet.” Levi stood up and went to leave, but his wrist was grabbed by Eren. He looked back, but Eren didn’t speak, so Levi sat down._ _

__Levi glanced down at his distended abdomen, distended and filling out. Levi cautiously reached out and placed a hand on his stomach. Eren’s hand came to rest above his._ _

__“Do you want this child?”_ _

__“Yes.” Eren gripped Levi’s hand tighter. “But Erwin most likely won’t let me. He’d rather fill me with his children.”_ _

__“Shame, I’d give anything to adopt your baby.” Eren looked up at him in surprise, to which Levi returned with a grin. “I’d like to marry you then adopt your child. I would treat them as if they’re my own.”_ _

__Eren was silent for a while. Staring down Levi, gauging to see if he were trustworthy or not. Finally, after a long and agonizing silence, Eren whispered. “Hurry.”_ _

__Levi didn’t need much more convincing. He got up and ran out. As much as he hated the idea of leaving Eren alone and vulnerable again, he knew exactly who he needed to go to: his uncle._ _

__He knew right away where Kenny would be, so he barged right into Uri’s bedroom. It was a small and plainly decorated room. Uri was fast asleep in bed as Kenny sat by a window, sharpening his favorite dagger._ _

__“Shh!” Kenny didn’t want Levi to wake Uri as he barged in. “Rude little brat! Have you no decency? You just barge in anywhere you like, huh?”_ _

__“Kenny I need your help.”_ _

__“Of course you do.” Kenny seemed irritated, though Levi suspected he’d change his tune when he heard Levi out. “What do you want now?”_ _

__“Eren.” Levi admitted. “I am going to adopt his child. As well as marry him.”_ _

__Now Levi had Kenny’s full attention._ _

__“Eren is engaged to Erwin,” Levi started. “But Erwin hurt him when he found out Eren was expecting. So Eren ran, that’s why I was distracted. He was gone and I didn’t know if he was safe. Well he was, until Erwin had MP’s attack and gang rape him._ _

__“Anyways, my point is that I want to get married to Eren. And I’m going to adopt his child, but Erwin is my obstacle. He won’t accept Eren marrying me, and I don’t know what he’ll do to us when he finds out.”_ _

__Kenny was silent for a while. He just looked at Levi. Eventually he spoke. “Wow. You know I thought it was weird when you suddenly wanted to work. Come to find out pretty little Eren was the reason why. And now you’ve grown up more in the past few months than you have in your entire lifetime. Want to adopt a kid, huh? Want to enter the commitment of marriage, huh? Wow. For the first time I can finally say you’ve grown up. You think I’d say no to halting your growth?”_ _

__Levi smiled. He could almost hug Kenny right now, but that was not in their relationship. Either way, whether it was he was finally getting rid of Levi or that he was actually proud of how his nephew had grown, Kenny would be his ally._ _

__“The problem is going against Erwin Smith is something I can’t do.” Kenny admitted. “I hold no real political power. I’m just a bodyguard, I can’t do a thing to Smith.”_ _

__“You can’t, but I can.” Kenny and Levi both turned around to see Uri sitting up in bed watching them. “I am the king, afterall. I better be able to do this for you.”_ _

__“You may be the king, but can you really do anything?” Levi asked. “Do you know how powerful Erwin actually is? How much he’s beloved by the people. By your people. And do you even know what he did?”_ _

__“Sexual assault in the first and second degree as he told his military men to rape Eren.” Uri recited with ease. “Oh yes I am aware. And I’m aware about how incredibly illegal that is.”_ _

__“So why haven’t you arrested him yet?” Levi hissed angrily. “Why hasn’t he been tried?”_ _

__“Runt, you don’t know a damn thing that goes into politics and accusations as big as that against as powerful a people as Smith!”_ _

__“Neither do you, you alcoholic shitbag!”_ _

__“I can wed you two.” Wanting to keep the fighting from his lover and the man's nephew, Uri came out and said it to appease Levi. “If you want to be married to Eren, I can premore the ceremony for you two and keep you both safe from Erwin.”_ _

__“You would do that?” Levi completely forgot about his argument with Kenny._ _

__“You act as if I wouldn’t.” Uri chuckled. “Besides, I had already planned to have everyone who was involved in that little operation to be tried for their crimes.”_ _

__Uri, Levi did hug. He threw himself on the man who was somehow shorter than he in a tight embrace before almost as quickly pulling away and looking into his eyes half crazed. “When? When can you perform the ceremony? Let’s do it as soon as possible!”_ _

__“Calm down!” Now Uri seemed to be on edge, which was a very rare occurrence for him. “We can perform the ceremony soon, but please, give Eren at last another day or two to recover.”_ _

__Levi scowled. He did not want to wait a few more days to finally be wed to Eren._ _

__

__***_ _

__

__It took Eren close to two weeks before he recovered enough to be freed of his tubing and constant surveillance. He could finally go home._ _

__Go home. What a joke. He had no home to return to anymore._ _

__Pretty soon Erwin would show up to replace his dog collar and drag him back to the confining walls of his prison. No matter what he was shackled down._ _

__Either way someone was approaching the room he was about to be discharged from. Instead of Erwin, it was Levi._ _

__“How are you feeling today?”_ _

__“Oh,” Eren started. “I’m better, I guess. Now I have to go back to Erwin.”_ _

__“You don’t want that.” Levi quipped and Eren didn’t respond. He looked away as if he couldn’t face him._ _

__“I,” Eren eventually started to speak. “I am sorry about the other day.”_ _

__“What do you mean?”_ _

__“What I said to you.” Eren raised a hand and looked as if he was going to place it on Levi’s but decided against it. “Before I passed out of that infection. That was highly inappropriate.”_ _

__“Who said I don’t like inappropriate.” Levi did grab Eren’s hand. Eren’s fingers curled around him and Levi admired how perfectly his hand fit in Levi’s. “I liked that. I feel the same way.”_ _

__Levi leaned close as if to initiate a kiss but stopped himself. He would not be the one to initiate. It was going to be on Eren’s turf. He seemed to notice that too as he gave Levi a little smile. This time Eren did initiate the kiss. It was soft and sweet, gentle and short._ _

__Eren broke away when he heard Erwin approaching and looked up at the man._ _

__“Ready to go?” Erwin told him. Eren nodded and stood up, crossing over to him. He didn’t miss the glare Erwin and Levi shot each other. He had destroyed their friendship._ _

__No. Not him. They destroyed their friendship all on their own. Bastards._ _

__Returning back to Erwin’s large house was sickening, but he made it through. And there he stood, right over the spot on the marble flooring where his head was bashed in. That alone filled him with disgust. What was he doing? Going back to Erwin as if the man wasn’t the new epicenter of his hellish life._ _

__Eren stood frozen, staring at his reflection in the marble floor when Erwin seemed to notice. “Eren. Come inside.”_ _

__Hesitantly, Eren made his way over to Erwin. Erwin wrapped an arm around him and led him through the house to his office, where he then instructed Eren to sit on the small sofa adjacent to the desk, which he did. Erwin himself sat down and did some paperwork, pretty much ignoring Eren._ _

__As bored as he was and as much as he didn't want to be there, Eren kept still and quiet at his seat. The seconds felt like hours and Eren felt like he could drift off. He hadn’t slept well since he had awoken from that strange dream he had._ _

__The silence and the stillness was agonising. It felt like he was still at Reiner’s visitation. Cold. Alone. Still. Silent._ _

__Eren closed his eyes. He assumed he must have dozed off as when he opened his eyes again, it was no longer the afternoon sun flooding through the window, but the pale moonlight._ _

__A single candle flickered on Erwin’s desk. Erwin. Where was he? Eren rose to his feet and approached the desk, examining it. He had gotten beaten for being too curious with Reiner’s desk before, but he was struggling to care about a whole lot anymore. He  
reached out and started digging through the doors._ _

__The first things he found were piles of letters. Letters addressed to him. Angered. Eren grabbed the top one and sliced it open, eagerly reading the contents._ _

__

___Beloved Son Eren,_ _ _

___I write to you with a heavy heart today as your mother has not taken well to your moving. All she does is cry and beg for us to return you home. I wish we could. We want you home. I want you home. I understand I may be sending this too early, but please update us soon!_ _ _

___With love, Father and Mother. ____ _

____ _ _

____Eren had never received a letter from his parents. He immediately made to rip them all open and read them, consequences be damned._ _ _ _

_____Eren,_ _ _ _ _

_____It’s been over a month, why won’t you write back to us? You did promise that you would write everyday. Why haven’t you? Where are you? Are you safe? Are you alive? Eren please write to us, your mother and I can’t go on like this.  
Eren,_ _ _ _ _

_____What is going on? Are you alright? Are you alive? Eren love, please dear goddesses be alive! ____ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______That was the last of the letters from his parents. There were letters from Gabi, Falco, and the kids that pretty much said the same things. Letters from Zeke and Colt. There was also a letter from Karina Braun._ _ _ _ _ _

______Knowing it was going to be nothing kind, Eren broke into the letter anyways and read it._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

_______Cheap Whore,_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______There is no way that I can put my hatred for you into words. You are a disgusting, vile creature. You have brought nothing but shame and disgrace upon my family! I hope to whatever goddesses above you spend the rest of your life in chains, being fucked near to death every single day._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______It is only what you deserve. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eren crumpled Karina’s letter. How dare that bitch wish such cruelty upon him. Though he knew she always did. It didn’t matter anyways._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nothing mattered anymore. Not his family, not his friends, not his parents, not Karina. Not Levi who he had confessed love to in a fit of delusions. Not Erwin, who was now towering above him, next to the desk as he sat surrounded by the open letters. Not his baby who he’d gladly give up his life for. Not even himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What the fuck are you doing?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Breaking into your desk for no reason.” Eren didn’t feel alive as he spoke. “I found and read all the letters addressed to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Erwin demanded Eren rise to his feet, and he did. Then he demanded Eren undress, which he did. Then Erwin wanted Eren to lay back on the couch and let Erwin do to him as he pleased, which he did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Erwin shoved his cock as roughly into Eren as he could, and humped him with an equally breakneck and painful pace. Eren never cried, never screamed, never felt a thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There he lay. Cold. Alone. Still. Silent. No heart to care about the love or the pain. No will to ferociously bite back at Erwin like he used to. No strength to fight agints the rape._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He was just _empty. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not at the quality I would like but hey, my exams are done and I have one week off! I plan to write everyday and post a few times in the next week. I am traveling across country to visit family though, so don't expect anything this Saturday or the following Sunday.


	13. It Keeps Bastards Like You Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took longer than I wanted to, but honestly, I had so much fun with the world building!
> 
> TW: Dirty talk, drinking, harassment, rape, murder.

Eren flipped through paperwork over and over. This was the worst part of his job, the boring paperwork. He would spend more time at his desk then he would with his patients. Not like it was really his desk anyways, the entire medical staff all shared only a few desks, usually fighting for space. 

They lived in military barracks, not soldiers but among them treating the sick and wounded. Eren had wanted to be a soldier, but his parents refused to let that happen. So instead from a young age he shadowed his father and learned everything there was to being a nurse. 

By the time Eren was fifteen and had to enlist in the draft, he was placed with the medical squad right away and quickly rose ranks thanks to his prior knowledge and skill. He was often praised as the best nurse in the army. And he was.

Now at only sixteen, Eren was a high ranking military medic. He had to hand it to his parents, he far preferred this. He actually liked his line of work, and was good at it too. He would have made a terrible soldier.

Before he had time to finish his paperwork, his childhood best friend, Armin, interrupted him. 

“Hey you!” Armin smiled and sat on the edge of the desk. “Hard at work as always, I see.”

“And you’re slacking off.” Eren remarked and set his paperwork down. “Funny, aren’t you usually the one telling me not to slack off?”

“How weird things have been since we’ve been in the army.” Armin chuckled, unlike Eren, he was not skilled as either a soldier or a medic, but he had a brilliant mind, so he too quickly rose ranks and was now the mastermind behind almost all their decisions. “Hey you wanna go out for drinks tonight? The nearby ghetto Libro has some pretty good bars from what I hear. Some soldiers and medics are going out tonight. You should come!”

“Love to,” Eren was annoyed at his insistence on going out, and held up his paperwork. “But I’ve already got plans for the night.”

“Boo! You’re no fun anymore!” Armin pouted and got back to his feet. He ripped the papers out of Eren’s hand and stuffed it in the drawer. “You need some fun back in your life! Come on, we’re going!”

“Hey wait! Those have to be filed properly--!” Eren couldn't finish what he was saying as he was dragged from his chair. Armin grabbed his military trench coat from the hook and threw it at him as he dragged Eren out to the wagon everyone was piling up on.

Since there was no way Armin was going to take no for an answer, Eren sighed and threw on the coat. It was early winter, so his coat had fur lining and a fur hood. 

Almost everyone from their division was there, the idea to even go out to an enemy ghetto for drinks was credited to Reiner Braun, a strong soldier with the strength of a bull, but a cockiness that radiated untouchable.

“Arlert, Jaeger, glad you could make it!” Reiner greeted as everyone filed in the wagon. “I was beginning to suspect you were both so prude you’d never come.”

“Of course we are!” Armin laughed. “We all need a little excitement, right Eren?”

“Oh save it.” Eren groaned and got in the wagon, he sat close to the front, his shoulder brushing Reiner’s back. “I should be doing my work.”

“Hm, prude bitch.” Reiner directed at Eren, it wasn’t that he was mean, he was just annoying, and if Eren had to admit, he kind of hated him. “You should spend some time with me, I’d show you a good time if you know what I mean.”

“Oh go get killed, Braun!” Eren hissed back and rolled his eyes. Nope. He _really _hated Reiner. “I’d rather die than spend more time with you than I have to.”__

__“And yet here you are.” Reiner cooed in his ear. “Say, when we get there why don’t you let me buy you a drink, hm?”_ _

__“In your dreams.”_ _

__“Excuse me for trying to make my dreams come true.” Reiner chuckled and when everyone who was going got in, whipped the horses to get them to move._ _

__It was about an hour ride to the ghetto, but only a few minutes of walking. They had to be quiet and sneaky though, as the Marylean government that subjected the Eldian people that lived there. They lived unhappy lives in the ghettos, and the bars were one of the only luxuries the Marylean government even allowed._ _

__They knew that they had to give their prisoners at least one or two good things to keep them complacent enough. Not that it helped. The Eldians in the ghettos usually hated their Marlyaen overlords, and many sympathized with the people of Paradise, and even wished to join them._ _

__Which meant in the ghetto, if they were careful not to get caught, they would be accepted among their fellow Eldian people, the ones who longed for the freedom they had. And they did. In fact, when they were in the bar, everyone cheered, and begged them to be the victors in the war._ _

__Overall it was actually a very fun night. Eren hung around with Armin, they drank wine and cocktails, and socialized with other of their friends and even some new friends they met at the bar. Of course, now that Eren was there, he was glad he came. He enjoyed the luxuries of alcohol when he had the chance._ _

__At sometime during the night, Eren noticed Reiner staring at him, he had a glint in his eye that made Eren groan in annoyance. He grinned and flipped Reiner off before turning away._ _

__“What was that about?” Armin asked._ _

__“Oh it’s just Braun.” Eren rolled his eyes just thinking about it. “That bastard kept staring at me and it was pissing me off.”_ _

__“Yeah, he’s staring at you because he’s in love with you!”_ _

__Eren nearly spit out his drink. “What? Armin you liar!”_ _

__“No, I’m not kidding!” Armin laughed and nudged him on the shoulder. “He so has the hots for you, he’s waiting for you to notice him.”_ _

__“Well he’s going to be waiting for a very long time because it’s not going to happen!” Eren was laughing now. The thought of him and Reiner together annoyed him to no end._ _

__“Oh how come!” Armin questioned him. “Why won’t you give Braun a chance?”_ _

__“I dunno,” Eren was about to take another sip of his drink, but he put his glass down. There was something about Reiner that Eren was weary of. He couldn’t understand why, couldn’t put it into words, but just his being gave off a bad vibe that Eren wanted nothing to do with. “I don’t know why, but I get a bad feeling with him.”_ _

__“Huh? Like what kind of bad feeling?”_ _

__“I don’t know. Can’t explain it. I just…” Eren glanced over his shoulder at Reiner, who was not talking with Bertolt and Marcel. His attention wasn’t on his friends long as he soon locked eyes with Eren again, who in turn faced away again. “I just don’t get a good vibe from him.”_ _

__“Vibe? _Vibe _! Eren you’re drunk!” Armin laughed loudly, his friend was clearly more drunk then he.___ _

____Eren groaned, he didn’t feel like dealing with him anymore. He downed the rest of his drink and was going to get up and go somewhere else when the bartender sat another drink in front of him. “Gentleman over there purchased this for you.”_ _ _ _

____Eren glazed over to where the bartender gestured, sure enough, Reiner raised his drink at him. Eren groaned, he didn’t want to deal with him either. Yet he didn’t deny that he liked the free drink he received, so he got up from where he sat and approached Reiner, who made made a seat for him._ _ _ _

____“Finally decided to join me, huh?” Reiner asked and leaned in close to Eren so they could hear each other a little better._ _ _ _

____“Don’t get any funny ideas, Braun, I still don’t like you.” Eren gave him a sharp look. “Yet I can’t pass up a free drink. So thanks, I guess. You’re out a few bucks now.”_ _ _ _

____Reiner laughed loudly, which irked Eren. “You’ve got spunk, dontcha? Well I kind of like that…”_ _ _ _

____“Oh you do huh?” Eren said sarcastically. “Try to break me down and put out my fire and I promise, I will kill you.”_ _ _ _

____“Don’t doubt it.” Reiner sipped his drink. “I don’t think I’d mind, though. Being killed, that is, but only if it’s you.”_ _ _ _

____“Great!” Eren chuckled. “Give me your handgun and let’s head outside right now.”_ _ _ _

____“You are feisty, huh?” Reiner moved one of his hands to Eren’s leg, to which he immediately slapped away. “You’re pretty cold, too.”_ _ _ _

____“It keeps bastards like you away.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah well, why is it that the more I talk to you, the more I get ensnared?” Reiner tried again, this time slinging an arm over his shoulder. “Your defense mechanism is just making me want you more.”_ _ _ _

____“Too bad I don’t care.” Eren let Reiner’s arm lay around him, he was cold and shivering a bit. Reiner pulled him closer to his warmth and he accepted, laying his head on his shoulder._ _ _ _

____Reiner chuckled and messed with Eren's fluffy hair. It was long enough that it fell over his face and neck, but short enough to be fluffy and messy. “You’re really cute, ya know?”_ _ _ _

____“Shut up.” Eren was slowly warming up as Reiner melted the ice in his body. “You’re just trying to sweet talk me.”_ _ _ _

____“Maybe I am, am I not allowed to?”_ _ _ _

____“Hm, maybe.” Eren played along. “Maybe not, depends on what I’m in the mood for.”_ _ _ _

____“Well are you in the mood for maybe getting out of here?” Reiner whispered. Eren shook his head._ _ _ _

____“I still have a free drink to finish.” Eren sipped his drink. “It’d be a shame to dump, don’t you think?”_ _ _ _

____“After?”_ _ _ _

____“Bite me.”_ _ _ _

____“Ok.” Reiner leaned in and pressed his face down into Eren’s neck, past his coat and shirt, and bit his neck._ _ _ _

____“OW!” Eren yelped and shoved Reiner away. “Braun, what the fuck?”_ _ _ _

____“You said ‘bite me.’” Reiner argued and he pressed his face right back into Eren’s shoulder, only for Eren to yelp again and shove him off. Some people were giving them looks._ _ _ _

____“I didn’t mean it like that!” Eren hissed. “Goddess, what is your problem?”_ _ _ _

____“You’re hot.” Reiner answered bluntly, and it deeply angered Eren._ _ _ _

____For some reason unbeknownst to him, ever since he joined the military, even though he was only fifteen when he started, he had been the object of affection from seemingly everyone. He was constantly asked on dates, given love letters, given gifts to win his affection, harassed by most of the men in the military, and a few of the women._ _ _ _

____One particular woman with long black hair naked Mikasa came to mind. She demanded she be his protector, and when he turned down her affection, she had gone into a rage. She would still ask to be his protector and lover from time to time. He always refused._ _ _ _

____He had refused everyone. At first, it made him feel pretty and beloved, and he had sort of falled for it, trying to be kind and not rude in rejection. Saying he’d need time to think on it, and never getting back to them. Or flirting a little bit to appease them._ _ _ _

____He quickly stopped this behavior, as pretty soon, the advances became aggressive. Hands would grab and grope his ass and groin without his permission. Even slip past his clothes when he wasn’t careful. Men would demand he kiss or make out with them, pursuing him up against walls to trap him, and even stealing some of his things and refusing to give them back until Eren would let them tongue him._ _ _ _

____One particularly scary night happened in the bathhouse. Eren was just trying to bath when a superior officer snuck in after him and grabbed him while he was vulnerable and naked. The way and places he touched Eren burned into his skin and left him sick. Thankfully, a few others also trying to bathe noticed the incident and beat the shit out of that officer. He was soon dishonorably discharged._ _ _ _

____Eren since then, Eren grew a thick skin and an impatience with the advances and the constant unwanted attention. He’d blow everyone off, and would never pretend to be civil about it. Casting away anyone and everyone’s advances. He would soon get labeled a prude, and a good chunk of his harassers would give up and leave him alone. And for that he could not have been more grateful. It was well worth the cruel labels._ _ _ _

____It was strange, Eren didn’t think he was all that good looking, yet the whole world seemed to. He even remembered eavesdropping on his parents worried about his appearance. He had thought they were crazy back then. Now he cursed himself at his foolishness._ _ _ _

____“Fuck off you pervert!” Eren shoved Reiner away and got up from his seat. He decided he would use the restroom then splash some cold water on his face to try and calm down. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. Maybe he just needed to step outside for a bit to get some fresh air._ _ _ _

____It was early morning and the stars and moon above him showed beautifully. Eren smiled at the peacefulness of the late night. There was a slight breeze, it was cold, but refreshing. Just what he was looking for._ _ _ _

____Thoroughly drunk and now enjoying just being alone, Eren slumped against the stonewall of the building. Exhaustion was creeping on him, and he dared to close his eyes to relax._ _ _ _

____There were people around him of course, most going to and leaving the bar, hardly paying him any mind. However, pretty soon Eren could sense somebody stopping and standing near him. He glanced up at one only to be face to face with a Marlayean soldier._ _ _ _

____Ah shit._ _ _ _

____Eren gasped and tried to run back to the safety of his friends, but the Marlayean soldier grabbed his arm and yanked him close._ _ _ _

____“Well well well, what do we have here?” The general pulled Eren in even closer to inspect him. “A devil. No, not just any devil: And Island devil of Paradise!”_ _ _ _

____“Fuck off!” Eren spoke with only vhenom at his enemy as he tried to pull free from his grip, but with no success. “Let go of me!”_ _ _ _

____“Oh not quite yet, little Devil.” The soldier turned Eren around and forced him face first into the brick wall, all with a tight grip on his twisted arm. “I was gonna stop by and bother some of the usual Devils around here, but find you is a real treat.”_ _ _ _

____The soldier’s free hand moved to feel over Eren’s body, circled over his abdomen and down to his thighs, making Eren squirm. “Quit touching me you bastard!”_ _ _ _

____“You’re pretty cute for a Devil.” The soldier remarked as he stared at Eren’s face. “You must be that Succubai type.”_ _ _ _

____“I am no devil now let me go!”_ _ _ _

____“You wanna be stubborn, fine.” The soldier let go of Eren. He pulled away but before Eren could make a mad dash out of there, he continued. “I’ll give you two options: either you let me do to you as I please, or I’ll alert my coworkers on duty tonight. The Marlayean government will be on top of you and your little group in no time. We’ll kill all of you and everyone in that bar. You wouldn’t want innocent people to die for a bad decision you made, would you?”_ _ _ _

____His threat was terrifying, and as much as Eren wanted to believe he was bluffing, they were unarmed in enemy territory, their enemy also happened to be cruel and ruthless. Eren would prefer to avoid as much bloodshed as possible._ _ _ _

____Eren didn’t answer, but he didn’t move either. The soldier took that as answer enough as he pounced on Eren, shoved his back into the wall and wormed a knee between his legs. Eren groaned, it was a strange feeling he didn’t like._ _ _ _

____Being touched in such an intimate way by someone who is not your spouse is a sin. So is sex before marriage. He was becoming impure from all the inappropriate touches, and was now going to commit an unforgivable sin._ _ _ _

____“Wait, slow down…” Eren begged. He had no idea what to expect, but he was sure it wasn’t going to be comfortable. “Please go slow. I’ve um, I’ve never done this before.”_ _ _ _

____“You’re a virgin?” The soldier taunted, laughing. He seemed to enjoy the idea of being the one to erase Eren’s purity. “Are you sure? I would guess differently from that bite mark on your neck.”_ _ _ _

____Eren groaned, he had forgotten that Reiner had bit him earlier. Marked him. Either way the Marlayean soldier didn’t seem to care. His fat hands roamed Eren’s body and slid his pants and underwear down and off of one leg, meanwhile unbuckling his own belt._ _ _ _

____The sight of the man’s penis made Eren gag. He didn’t want this. The soldier lifted Eren’s free leg and used the opportunity to force his erection into Eren’s hole.  
____

___Eren screamed out when he entered, it was painful. Very painful. And he could feel a part of his walls tearing open. He had known sex wasn’t always the most comfortable at times, but that love and passion made up for it. This was not love and passion. This was just pain._ _ _

____The soldier above him pounded him into the wall with a painful thrust of his hips. Eren was groaning and panting in agony as blood leaked out of him where he was connected to the soldier. Pretty soon his pace was picking up and he was panting faster, Eren was praying he was close to finishing._ _ _ _

____Sure enough, with a few more harsh and painful thrusts, the Marlayean soldier groaned lowly as semen filled Eren to the brim. Eren felt he could vomit, the sensation of semen filling his gut was absolutely awful._ _ _ _

____“You did good, pretty little Succubus.” The soldier chuckled darkly in his ear. Before he could pull out, there was a loud bang and blood splashed in Eren’s face as the soldier slumped against him, pinning him to the wall._ _ _ _

____Eren looked over to see Reiner with a terrifying expression, his handgun aimed at the soldiers head, smoke escaping from the barrel. When Eren got over the shock of the man being killed while still inside him, Eren frantically shoved him off and searched for his discarded clothes._ _ _ _

____“Here,” Reiner picked up his pants and underwear and held it out to him. “Do you uh, do you need any help?”_ _ _ _

____Eren was going to refuse, but when he stood up from the wall, and blood and cum fell out of him, he toppled over again, right into Reiner’s arms._ _ _ _

____“Hey! Hey it’s ok, I’ve got ya,” Reiner held Eren close and rubbed his back. He moved as if to help Eren get dressed._ _ _ _

____“Don’t look at me. Not like this.” Eren begged and Reiner looked away as he helped Eren put his pants back on.____

___Once dressed again, Reiner led Eren out of the alley way. “Do you want to go back to the bar and have another drink, or we can sit in the wagon and be alone for a bit. I’ve got some whiskey and vodka.”_ _ _

____“I don’t care.” Eren clung onto Reiner’s arm, he was having trouble walking on account of when he moved, his tears would rub together. “I just want to sit down.”_ _ _ _

____Reiner nodded and led him back to the wagon, Eren laid down on a blanket as Reiner poured him some vodka. Eren gratefully took it. The burn on the way down was calming._ _ _ _

____“Why did you go out by yourself? Why didn’t you come to me?” Reiner seemed offended that Eren had left the safety of his arms to get raped in an alleyway. “I coulda protected you. This never would have happened.”_ _ _ _

____“Stop it, Braun!” Eren felt like he could cry. Between the pain from between his legs, the crushing humility of not being a virgin, and the weight of his sins of having sex outside of marriage, Reiner was the last thing he wanted to deal with. “I do not like you. I do not trust you!”_ _ _ _

____“Why not? I like you! A lot!” Reiner was now hovering over where Eren lay. “Eren, honest to the Walls Eren, I’m in love with you!”_ _ _ _

____“You don’t even know me!”_ _ _ _

____“I know you more than you think.” Reiner moved to lay next to him and placed a hand next to Eren’s head, intently looking down on him. “From the moment we met I’ve been infatuated with you. I’ve been looking out for you, protecting you from afar as I wanted to get to know you._ _ _ _

____“Eren, be my bride. Marry me and I will be your shield to the day I die. I will always protect you, that I promise.”_ _ _ _

____“You’re so full of bullshit!” Eren had a hard time biting that out. He didn’t know why, but he was beginning to fall for Reiner’s sweet lies. His chest was fluttering and his cheeks bright red. He couldn’t say he loved Reiner, yet he believed him. He ignored his red flags for the earnesty in his words. “Besides, I’m not pure anymore.”_ _ _ _

____“Psht!” Reiner was laughing. “That whole purity virginity obsession is complete bullshit! I don’t care if you’ve fucked once or a thousand times prior to me, I want you.”_ _ _ _

____“I committed a sin.” Eren reminded him. His stomach churned when he thought of how disappointed his parents would be to hear that their previously pure son was now tainted and used up. “I will be shunned, I brought dishonor upon my family.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh come on!” ” Reiner yelled. “You can’t seriously believe that religious garbage! You know there’s no such thing as sin, and religion is made up, right?”_ _ _ _

____“How dare you say that!” Eren sat up to look at Reiner. “The Goddesses are real and I am devoted!”_ _ _ _

____Eren clutched a charm he wore of the patron Goddesses, Ymir, mother of the three Goddesses of the Walls. He was baptized in her name, deemed to be close to her holiness at a young age. He believed he carried her blessing with him._ _ _ _

____“I know they're real!” Eren smiled and leaned close to Reiner. “In fact, I even met the Goddess Ymir once.”_ _ _ _

____“Now you’re the one full of bullshit!”_ _ _ _

____“It’s true!” Eren got comfortable as he recited his story. “On my tenth birthday, I was supposed to be gathering firewood for my family. I fell asleep under a tree and had a vivid nightmare. Blood, gore, disaster, old trickents and family heirlooms being destroyed. And worst of all: giants! Giants that were eating normal people with no remorse!_ _ _ _

____“That wasn’t all. There was also a moment of peace and serenity. I was playing with a little girl on a sandy beach below a bright blue sky. She seemed to be about my age, we talked as if we were best friends. I couldn’t understand what we were saying until the very end._ _ _ _

____“She told me: ‘You have been one of my favorites since before you were born.’ Then she hugged me and said ‘Eren Jaeger, you will always carry the blessing of the Goddess Ymir.’ I believe that was her, the Goddess, Ymir. I believe I met her that day, in that dream.”_ _ _ _

____Reiner sat and listened intently to his whole story, intrigued and respectful. He wasn’t religious, everyone knew that, so Eren knew he didn’t believe him, but at least he was respectful as Eren talked his ear off. He stared right into Eren’s green eyes the entire time._ _ _ _

____“I think you’re a God.” Reiner laughed and pounced on Eren. “I think I’d rather worship you as my God.”_ _ _ _

____“Then get on your knees and beg for my blessing!”_ _ _ _

____Reiner broke away and got on his knees, bowing to Eren, begging him all the while for his blessing. This made Eren laugh. He was genuinely happy, having enjoyed Reiner’s company and gotten to know him._ _ _ _

____“Marry me, Eren.” Reiner was now on one knee in front of Eren, and held one of his hands. “I love you. I’m devoted to you. And I don’t care about your _purity _or whatever. I just want you.”___ _ _ _

______Eren didn’t speak back, but he did let Reiner crawl on top of him and press their lips together. He did allow them to lay together, lips locked and sucking on each other's tongues. Hands roaming over the other’s bodies._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can I fuck you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Not until we’re married.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well will you at least suck me off?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ew! Absolutely not!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hand job?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do that yourself.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Come on Eren, work with me here. I’ve gotta cure these blue balls somehow.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bite me.” Eren looked deep into Reiner’s eyes, silently telling him that this time, he was not talking figuratively._ _ _ _ _ _

______It didn’t take more convincing for Riner to lean down into his neck and gently bite and suck over his neck. Eren moaned lowly. It did feel good. He decided to just enjoy the moment and ignore Reiner’s dry humping against his clothed crotch._ _ _ _ _ _

______“By the walls you two! Next time put a hat on the door or something!” Armin laughed at them as he stumbled in drunk. “Lovebirds! Hey everyone! Braun and Jaeger are a thing!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Loud cheering, booing, laughing, and other voices came from around them. Eren groaned in annoyance, but Reiner cheered right along. “Guess who’s engaged!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______More loud cheering and booing. Eren tried to hide his embarrassed face but Reiner picked him up and set him on his shoulder. “To us! Jaeger and Braun!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eren couldn't help but laugh along and enjoy the moment. He had never said yes to an engagement, but he was seriously thinking about it now. He was starting to really like Reiner. And besides, they couldn’t get married until after their draft was finished, so Eren still had time to date and get to know Reiner._ _ _ _ _ _

______Reiner let him down and Eren was the one to initiate the kiss that everyone cheered at. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since a flashback chapter, I wanted one. I know, you're all so eagerly awaiting that Eren/Levi smut, that's probably the main reason you're hear, and I promise it is coming! It will be here soon y'all, stick with me!


	14. Wedding Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's taking me WAY too long to finish chapters now! I used to upload every day or close to everyday, now it's taking me close to three or four days to upload. Oh well, sorry guys! 
> 
> I don't like how the TW's kind of spoil my chapters but I know how important they are!
> 
> TW: Forced marriages, deception, mental breakdowns, sort-of Stockholm Syndrome

Eren was now completely complacent. He wouldn’t talk, look up, or do anything without Erwin’s command. During the day when Erwin had to work, Eren was instructed to stay inside. He could do whatever he pleased, but what was important was that he stayed inside, Which he did. No more escape attempts. Even if Erwin had hired a bodyguard to sit and watch his every move. His reports weren’t much. Eren didn’t do much anymore.

It was almost as if he were a zombie. Erwin would admit, he would like some life back in Eren’s eyes, but that wasn’t going to happen anymore. At least it was better to have him complaint.

That was when Erwin decided now was the perfect time to get married. It would be a simple ceremony. Just an elopement in the courthouse. After Eren had his child and Erwin could put it up for adoption, was when he would have a ceremony. He’d much rather have Eren skinny and not pregnant for the wedding celebration, even though he wasn’t even very big at seven months.

Erwin had picked out a long and elegant wedding gown for Eren to wear. He looked stunning in it, and it fit his thin frame and distended abdomen very well.

“You look lovely, Eren.” Erwin brushed a few loose strands of Eren’s long hair out of his face. Eren never spoke but he nodded. Good enough.

Instead of going to the courthouse, Erwin decided they’d get married in the royal palace. He could show off his prized possession to the royal family. It helped that the king himself agreed to be the one to wed them.

Right in the royal throne room, Erwin with Eren at his side. King Reiss in front of them, with his gray haired servant and his bodyguard Kenny behind him. And of course Levi, his best man and witness. He looked more than displeased at their wedding.

Erwin didn’t care. Levi tried to play it off, but Erwin knew his friend was pining after Eren. He was now clearly upset that Erwin was the one who was going to be wed to Eren, not him. Not that Erwin cared what Levi wanted, or what Eren wanted. It was what he wanted, and that was the famous Gem of the Walls as his spouse. 

“Well, this is it. Are you ready?” The King, Rod, watched them. Everything he needed for a wedding ceremony was in front of him.

“Yes, your majesty. Just get this over with.” Erwin reminded him, so Rod sighed and continued with the ceremony.

“Very well. Do you, Erwin Smith, take Eren Braun to be your bride?”

“I do.” Erwin slipped a golden band onto Eren’s finger and gave the other band to Eren.

“Do you, Eren Braun, take this man, Erwin Smith to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Eren didn’t speak. He didn’t look up either. After a few moments of silence, Erwin nudged him. “Eren, speak you vows.”

Eren emitted a low groan and parted his lips as if to speak. He finally looked up. His eyes darted around to the few people in the room, then down to his hands. Where one finger lay a band and clutched in his palm was the ring he was going to place onto Erwin. 

He looked up at Erwin and with shaky hands, reached out to place the ring on his finger and recite his vows. 

That moment never came. As soon as their skin made contact, a shock broke them apart. A shock from their hands and lightning crashed outside. It was the start of a storm. Eren glanced out the window and watched the sky darken and drops of rainfall on the window. More lightning flashed in his eyes and nearly blinded him.

“The Goddess objects.”

“What?” Erwin moved close to Eren so he could hear what he was saying. As soon as his hand was placed on his shoulder, another shock was sent through them.

“Get off of me!” Eren backed away from Erwin. “I don’t think we should be married. I don’t think the Goddess wishes it.”

“By the walls, Eren!” Erwin groaned. “I thought you outgrew this religious crap years ago!”

“It’s not crap, it’s a message!” Eren looked down at his hand and pulled the ring off, throwing it at Erwin. “I will not marry you!”

“Yes you will--”

“No I won’t!” Eren glanced around and grabbed a vase, chucking it at Erwin. “You don’t own me!”

Erwin managed to dodge the vase, and as Eren made a break for the door, he bolted after him and tackled him to the ground. Eren yelled out as he crashed against the floor, and was pinned down by heavy body weight above him.

“Get off of me!” Eren headbutted Erwin right in the face. “Don’t you ever touch me again!”

Erwin groaned but picked Eren back up and dragged him back over to the altar. “Eren quit making a fuss of this!”

“No! I don’t want to marry you!” Eren looked around to the others in the room, his eyes eventually landing on Levi. “Please! Help me! Don’t make me do this!”

“You know what, this is pointless.” Ewin put his ring on then grabbed Eren’s ring, shoving it back on his finger. “He means ‘I do.’ Now just give us the paperwork to sign so we can be legally married.”

“No! No I don’t want this, why won’t you listen to me!” Eren was frantically trying to break away from Erwin’s grip and glancing between everyone there. “Why won’t any of you say something! Do something! Will you just let me suffer with no other care in the world?”

Rod set the documents down and Erwin grabbed a pen and stuffed it in Eren’s hand, and forced him to sign his documents.

Eren was sobbing now, to his dismay, his signature was on the documents, and he was now legally married to Erwin. Trapped in a new hellish marriage.

“Wonderful.” Rod looked over the paperwork. “I now pronounce you wed, Levi and Eren Akermen.”

With his words the whole world forze. Eren had stopped crying and was in shock, he looked up and in his face, Rod held the marriage license. His shaky signature next to Levi’s. He was married to Levi, not Erwin.

“What? How? Why?” Eren couldn’t believe it. This had to be a cruel joke. Give him false hope then send him crashing back to reality. Eren dared to glance at Erwin, who was furious.

“What the hell, Reiss!” He bit out with pure venom in his voice. “How did you let this happen? What happened to the documents I already signed?”

“I switched them with the ones I signed.” Levi said casually off to the side, smirking. “I figured you’d miss my signature and would just have Eren sign the papers. And you did! And now I have successfully stolen Eren from your grip.”

“You tricked us?”

“Yeah, I did.” Levi turned to Eren and smiled. “I’m sorry I had to do that to you, but in the end, you’re not married to Erwin, and now you’ll never have to be.”

Eren felt like he could explode with joy. He ran over and tackled Levi in a tight hug. The man had saved him from another painful marriage.

“Of course, now you are married to me.” Levi gently pulled away after a few seconds and looked into Eren’s eyes. “And I would like to adopt your child when they’re born.”

All Eren could do was nod. He was at a loss for words. He still couldn’t say he truly loved Levi, yet he was falling for him. And if Levi adopted his baby, that would only make him love him faster.

“Damn Runt, you really have grown up.” Kenny chuckled from behind them, catching their attention. “I think Eren was the best thing to have happened to you.”

“I agree.” Levi said cooly, making Eren’s cheeks flush red. “Why don’t we go celebrate.”

Everyone agreed. Everyone but Erwin, who was still enraged at how he had been tricked to lose Eren. He glared back at Levi. “Levi you bastard. You will pay for this. You both will.”

“Ok, you're done.” Before he could say or do much more, Kenny took a fierce grip on his arm and forced him out.

Erwin was gone from Eren’s sight and his mind. For now anyways.

***

The Reiss family held a small feist for them, the majority of which Eren ate. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the dust settled and he could finally relax from his previous situation. The food was delicious, too. Levi seemed content to just sit back, sip his wine, and watch him stuff his face.

“Are you hungry?” Eren glanced at Levi, a bit of rice still on his lip, which made Levi chuckle and wipe it away.

“I’m fine, you just enjoy it.” Eren smiled at his words and softly kissed his hand.

“So, welcome to the family.” Kenny was also sitting with them, as well as Uri to his other side. “What are you going to do now?”

“Oh,” Eren thought it over, he was really clueless as to what he was going to do next. “I’m not sure, really. My first marriage was unhappy, and I was close to another loveless relationship. I guess now that I have the time and freedom, I’ll focus on my baby.”

Eren looked at Levi as if for approval he did not bother to give. Eren was free, he knew that. Levi wasn’t going to chain him down, but he was going to love him.  


It wasn’t much of a party they had, as Levi promised they would celebrate after their baby was born. Dinner with Levi and his family was more than enough to make Eren content.

In reality, he was just content not to be married to Erwin. So far, Levi was good to him. Not saying it would stay that way, as Reiner had turned cruel very soon after their wedding. However now Eren was determined to make his marriage a loving one, a happy one. He’d do anything to make Levi happy, after all, it was Levi who saved him. Who saved his baby.

Soon Levi and his uncle had started up a conversation that they were lost in. Eren leaned into Levi’s side and curled into his warmth. He could feel Levi’s arm wrap around him and hold him close, it was a good feeling.

The night lingered on, and soon enough, Eren found himself in a new suit. Levi’s. His room in the palace was enormous, beautiful, and meticulously clean. Eren wandered around, admiring all the furniture and the decorations. It was nice, if a bit overwhelming.

“Eren,” Levi called to him, and right away Eren’s attention focused back on his husband as he approached Levi. “I, well, I only have one bed here, but if you want, I could sleep on the couch.”

“No, it’s fine.” Eren smiled and reassured him. “You do whatever you want, ok?”

“Well, what do you want?”

Eren shrugged. “Whatever you do.”

“Uh-huh,” Levi sighed and reached out to stoke Eren’s cheek, His skin was soft and warm, and he right away gripped Levi’s hand in turn. “I mean it Eren, what do you want and we’ll do that.”

Eren was silent for a few moments before he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Levi’s. “I told you, I want what you want. I want you.”

Levi didn’t fight him. Eren wrapped his arms around his neck as he deeply kissed Levi, tongue gliding across his lips, asking for entry. Levi parted his lips and let Eren explore his mouth with his tongue.

He was slow and gentle, and pretty soon Levi’s head was filled with lust as he ignored his convictions to be careful for Eren. He led him over to his bedroom, pushing him down on the mattress.

Eren fell back against the mattress and pulled Levi down with him. His long hair fell elegantly over the sheets. Levi couldn’t help himself, his hands were on Eren’s hips and his face pressed into the soft skin on his neck.

The little gasps and moans in pleasure Eren let out were heavenly. Levi felt his cock fill out just at how erotic Eren was benith him. Eren seemed to notice too, as he reached out and gripped Levi’s clothes dick, rubbing him through his pants.

“Fuck--!” Levi groaned and tightly gripped Eren’s thigh, causing him to yelp out in pain, he let go right away. “Shit! Sorry,”

“It’s ok, keep going.” Eren was now unbuttoning Levi’s suit vest and shirt, Levi took that as an invitation to unzip the gown.

It wasn’t long before their clothes were discarded and forgotten. Eren was gasping and moaning, clawing at the sheets and a pillow as Levi worked his tongue between his legs. It was clear to him that it’s been far far too long since someone had pleasured Eren as he was doing right then. Eren seemed to love it, writhing in pleasure the whole time.

After Eren came, it was Levi’s turn to be pushed down with Eren crawling on top of him. As much as Levi enjoyed it, Eren was moving fast. Too fast to make sure he was even linking what they were doing.

“Wait,” Levi sat up and gently pushed Eren’s face away from his groin. Eren looked up at him confused. “You’re uh, you’re moving fast. Are you are you ok? With this? With what we’re doing?”

“Of course I am.” Eren’s confusion melted into a small smile as he went in to kiss Levi’s lips. “We’re married now, it’s not a sin.”

Levi was slightly taken aback by Eren’s complete mood changes, but his concerns were forgotten when Eren settled himself down onto Levi’s cock. He groaned lowly, hands back to roaming Eren’s exposed skin wherever he could.

Eren held onto his shoulders for stability as he moved up and down Levi’s cock, meaning all the while. Levi was more than content to let Eren do to him as he pleased.  


He looked so lovely on top, skin glistening with sweat, strands of long, silky hair stuck to his face and back. The lust in his eyes as he touched Levi.

The adrenaline, the excitement, Eren. It was all enough to push Levi over the edge, clawing at Eren’s soft skin when he came. When the high of his orgasm cooled down, he pulled Eren back down onto the bed and curled up to his chest. He was so warm, and he smelled so sweet.

“I love you,” Levi mumbled into Eren’s neck. He could feel Eren giggle and say something back to him, but he never registered what he said.

***

When Levi woke up, Eren was nestled into his side with a sheet wrapped around them. He reached out to gently pet Eren’s hair and to his surprise, Eren looked right up at him, eyes wide and shimmering.

“You’re awake!” Eren planted light kisses all over Levi’s face and neck. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. I was going to cook breakfast, but I didn’t know what you like, so I decided to wait until you woke up and you could tell me. I should warn you, I’m not exactly the best cook, though.”

Levi’s mind was foggy as Eren rambled on, why was he acting like this? Not that Levi minded his loving attitude, something just didn’t seem right about it.

“Sure hun, whatever you like.”

Eren got up right away, still holding the bedsheet to his naked body as he ran to the small kitchen in Levi’s suite. Levi didn’t have a whole lot of foods to cook from, but Eren made due with the eggs and vegetables he did have.

Pretty soon, the sweet aroma of breakfast flooded the room, rousing Levi from bed and dragging him to his small kitchen. Eren set down a plate with an omelette on the table where Levi soon sat. Eren sat in the chair next to him, watching him anxiously.

Levi took a bite of the omelette Eren prepared for him and was amazed. It was good, very good, delicious! Levi was soon stuffing his face until his breakfast was finished. He glanced over at Eren, who was still eyeing him intently.

“Did did you like it? I’m not exactly the best cook. Reiner always hated my cooking.” Eren was fidgeting with the bedsheet, his eyes downcast.

“Eren, it’s wonderful.” Levi dropped his fork and reached around to hold Eren’s shaking hands in his. “I’m not Reiner, and I love your cooking. You’re fine! You can relax, I promise.”

Eren smiled and kissed Levi, yet his hands were still trembling. He wasn’t relaxing, and Levi wasn’t sure how to help. Levi sighed and rubbed his back, glancing at his first plate, he broke away and reached to clean it up.

“No!” Eren took the dishes from him. “I should clean this up, I’m the one who made a mess in the kitchen anyways.”

“Eren, you don’t have to--” Levi was cut off by Eren going back into the kitchen and starting to clean up. However his hands were still shaking too hard, and he dropped the glass plate and knocked over some other glass containers, glass shattering over the floor.

“Oh Goddesses, I’m so sorry!” Eren searched around for a broom and a dustpan, going to clean up, but Levi didn’t want him to get cut up from the broken glass.

“I can clean that up.” Levi grabbed the broom and dustpan from Eren. He almost missed Eren’s frightened gasp and the way he scrambled into a corner as far away from Levi as he could. Levi watched him dumbfounded. “Eren? Are you ok?”

Levi approached Eren, the closer he got, the more Eren trembled and whimpered. Levi stopped and backed away. He was scaring him. Towering over him in a threatening composure. Eren was acting as if he was anticipating a beating.

Levi dropped to his knees a meter from Eren. “Eren, I’m so sorry. I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

Eren slowly started to uncurl himself and look over at Levi, was he looking for comfort and reassurance, or was he gauging Levi’s rage and likeliness to beat him. Levi kept still, kept calm, waited for Eren to approach him.

Slowly, Eren crawled out from his corner and into Levi’s arms. Right away he started crying, sobbing into Levi;s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I love you, please don’t hurt me!”

“Shh, I promise I won’t hurt you.” Levi gently rubbed Eren’s back in an attempt to comfort him. What was he going to do now? Eren needed help that he didn’t know how to provide. How was he going to get Eren the help? What was he going to do?

“I love you too Eren. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done! We finally get what we all came here for! Well, sort of. Now Eren needs some therapy!


	15. Zeke Jaeger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I have no rhyme or reason to my chapter names. Whatever I like just seems to stick. 
> 
> Anyways I had a lot of fun writing this chapter centered around one of my favorite characters! Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> TW: Honestly not a whole lot in this chapter, mostly just talking about the past shit that happened. So for proper TW's: check the tags, as always.

By the time Erwin and Eren had left, Levi right away went down to the cellar where Zeke was being kept. He used the keys he stole to unlock the door and walk in on the tall monkey-looking man.

“What do you want?” Zeke breathed out smoke from past his lips, then took another drag of his cigarette. “Erwin take Eren away again?”

“What should we do?” No point in dancing around the truth, might as well get to the center of their conversation. “How do we get Eren outta this?”

“Hell if I know.” Zeke sighed. “Erwin is smart. No matter what we do he’s going to find a way to blindside us wherever possible to get Eren. Hell, you try to marry him and he’d probably forge the documents and trick you into signing Eren to be legally married to him or something.”

“That’s it!” Levi declared right away, almost smiling. “That’s perfect! I can sign the documents then replace them when Erwin goes to actually get married. Zeke you’re a genius!”

“Really?” Zeke gave him an uneasy look. “Because both of my ex wives would beg to differ.”

“Whatever. Regardless, that’s a brilliant idea.” Levi shook his head. “I can ask the king to go along with it too, I know he’d love to get Eren out of that situation as much as I.”

“I don’t like your plan.”

“Why?” Levi glared at Zeke. “This was your idea!”

“No it’s not!” Zeke dropped his cigarette and stood up, towering over the shorter man. “I was spitballing something that Erwin would be likely to pull off and you decided that you wanted to go with that.”

“Well it was your idea then,” Levi stood his ground and stared down Zeke, he may have been much shorter than he, but he was strong in other ways. “And I want to go through with it.”

“I don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to see Eren married off again!” Zeke finally admitted and he backed down from Levi, knowing he lost. “It’s just that, well, his last marriage was beyond unhappy and I just don’t want to see him hurt like that again.”

“And who’s saying I’m going to hurt Eren!” Levi scoffed, he was almost offended. “And well what about you! You lived close by, you knew how Braun treated him, you could have intervened earlier so why didn’t you?”

“Because I had my own shit to deal with!”

“Oh really? You had your own troubles that were far worse than an abusive spouse?”

“Hey don’t you invalidate my trauma!” Zeke growled then recited his story. “I knew Reiner from day one, and from day one I knew two things about him: he was a piece of shit, and he was after Eren. But Eren was always so headstrong, I thought I didn’t have to worry because every time Reiner tried coming onto him, Eren would shut him down right away. I thought he was fine, and knew how to avoid the bad apples!

“Then the night in Libro came. I was out on a mission at the time, but I heard the story when I got back. A group of them snuck out of base and into enemy territory: the Libro ghetto where the subjugated Eldians that lived in Marley were kept. Supposedly, something happened because when they came back, Eren and Reiner were a couple.

“I asked Eren what happened and why he chose Reiner of all people, but he never gave me a straight answer. I think Reiner did something to him and blackmailed him, but I could never be sure. I tried to break them up constantly, but it never worked. Hell, I even tried to kill Reiner indirectly by sending him out on a doomed mission. He wasn’t killed, but he was fatally wounded. He would have died, but guess who the medic was on duty that night to treat him.

“Eren did a wonderful job, truly the best medic the army had ever seen. Reiner was saved from the brink of death and started drinking more to fight the chronic pain that came from his injuries. Two years later, their draft ended and they got married, that was when the problems started. 

“I could tell right away something was off, but Eren wouldn’t say a word. I didn’t press him harder as I was going through my own marriages and divorces. Hell, I think it was the night of my second wedding when I first truly noticed something was wrong.”

There was silence between them now. Zeke hung his head in shame. Levi was the first to speak. “So what you’re saying is: this is all your fault.”

“Yup.”

“Everything you did--literally everything--lead to Eren’s horrible marriage?”

“Goddesses, you don’t have to be so crass about it!” Zeke shook his head. “I feel enough guilt without you bringing it to the forefront of my mind!”

“Do you?” Levi’s snide remark earned more annoyance from Zeke, not that he cared what the monkey man thought of him. “Well whatever. You got any better ideas.”

“Kill Erwin!”

“How? He’s one of the most powerful men in the country! You should know, you worked directly under him!”

“I don’t know! Maybe you or your uncle could do it! You’re both strong enough!” Zeke rubbed his face and lit another cigarette. “Else I say we try to arrest him for what he did to Eren. I mean, we have the other soldiers' confessions. The problem is he’d easily be able to escape conviction then pin it back to us.”

“You’re right. That’s why our first idea worked the best.”

“I don’t want you marrying Eren!”

“Well too bad! If I’m married to him, then Erwin can’t weasel his way in. This is our best option.”

More silence befell them. Zeke casually finished his cigarette and towered over Levi again.

“Fine.” He bit out. “I give you my blessing for Eren’s hand in marriage only to keep him away from Erwin. I’m warning you, if I notice one thing slightly off with Eren and he is in any distress from you, I am chopping your dick off!”

Levi snorted. He’d like to see Zeke try, but he didn’t blame him for wanting to learn from his past mistakes and wanting to protect his baby brother.

“Very well, I give you my word I will never lay my hand on Eren.” Levi held out his hands and the two shook on it. “If I ever do you have every right to kill me.”

“Good.”

It didn’t take a long discussion with Rod and Uri Reiss for a plan to be set whenever Erwin actually went through with the wedding. Levi signed the papers ahead of time and Rod had Erwin sign the papers beforehand, then replaced them during the ceremony.  
At the end of the day, their scheme had worked.

***

Panting, moaning, sweating, yelling, hair pulling, orgasms, pleasure, pain. The sex was phenominal. Levi had never felt so satisfied in his life than he was with Eren. Eren on the other hand, did everything Levi asked. He sucked his dick, rode his cock, let Levi eat him out, split him open, and do whatever he wanted.

Eren was drop dead gorgeous, and did everything that Levi asked. He kept him pleasured and satisfied. Gave him the best orgasms he ever had, and not once complained or showed signs of discomfort.

Levi would frequently wonder if Eren felt ok performing the lewd acts Levi asked of him, but every time he asked, Eren would only smile and remind him that they were married and that he loved Levi very much.

The sex was weonderful, and so was their homelife. Eren was still clearly recovering from trauma, and Levi sent for doctors to come help him recover, yet despite all of that, Eren was the best partner he could ever hope for.

He would cook the most amazing meals Levi had ever tasted, he was so skilled in the kitchen, yet he always talked about how bad the food he prepared was. Levi suspected his late husband had a hand in his self confidence.

His cleaning was also up to Levi’s standard. Levi was very particular about cleanliness, and had previously taken pleasure in cleaning. Yet Eren amazed him at how well he kept his suite clean. Not a speck of dust was ever found, and Levi made sure to praise his new spouse for his efforts.

Levi had never been happier in his life. He had a beautiful spouse, a baby on the way, a comfortable life with the one he loved. Everything was perfect. The only thing that kept Levi awake at night, that kept him unsatisfied, was just how perfect it was with Eren. 

He suspected issues rising from the blue to ruin his perfect life. And Erwin. Erwin and his threat never left his mind. He had wanted to hurt them both when he learned how Levi had tricked him into losing Eren. That kept him nervous, anxious, and Eren seemed to pick up on it right away.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Eren asked as he laid against Levi’s chest and stared into his infinite silver eyes.

“Hm? Oh, nothing.” Levi gently kissed Eren’s lips, but he knew his spouse didn’t buy his flimsy excuse, so he decided to change the subject. “How are things going with your doctors?”

Eren looked down and wrapped his arms around his abdomen, he was over eight months along, and was close to the due date. He was also seeing a mental doctor for his trauma. Levi had requested them the morning after their marriage, when Eren had broken down.

“I’m fine.” Eren assured Levi, though he didn’t sound very confident. “I’m just big and uncomfortable.”

“I see,” Levi nodded and ran his hand over Eren’s abdomen. He could feel the baby kicking beneath the skin and organs. “Are you excited?”

“Very.” Eren smiled and leaned into Levi’s touch. “I um, I I have one request.”

“Anything, Eren.”

“I,” Eren flushed, he looked pained as he asked. “I want to see my parents, before I give birth. It’s been a long time since I communicated with them, and I really miss them.”

Levi thought back to when he had first met Eren. His parents were at his side the entire time, the love they felt for their youngest son was evident. They were the ones to object at Eren’s moving away, fight his ex-mother in law when she harassed him, and protect him at his side whenever they could.

“Hm, I don’t think you should be traveling right now,.” Levi told Eren and he seemed to sadden a bit until Levi continued. “But I can send for them to come here to be with you.”

Eren was so happy, he tightly clung to Levi and had gifted him with the best blowjob of his entire life that night. Levi was positive that orgasm alone sent shockwaves into his next life.

Zeke was also back in the picture. Once his charges were dropped, Eren was there when he was released. The two immediately fell into each other's arms.

“I’m so happy you’re ok.” Zeke ran a hand though Eren’s hair.

“I’m so happy you’re alive!”

“Course I am.” Zeke pulled away to smile at his brother. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, I,” Eren looked away.” I guess I’m just worried about what Erwin is capable of.”

“Well you don’t have to be.” Zeke rubbed his band and walked out of the cellar basement with him. “Smith can’t hurt me. He’s tried, but after my divorces, I’m pretty sure there is no one on earth besides Yelena who can hurt me. Well, maybe Levi. That midget you married freaks me the fuck out!”

Eren laughed and Zeke felt more relaxed. Eren was definitely… Different. He seemed to have more light in his eye, but he also seemed even more on edge. Perhaps it was fear of Erwin and what he was going to do next. Or something else.

“Hey Eren, level with me for a sec.” Zeke stopped and looked intently at Eren. “So, I’m glad our scheme to keep you from marrying Erwin worked and all. And I am sorry we couldn’t alert you so it was, well, a surprise marriage to someone you didn’t agree to--”

“I would have ended up with Levi anyways. Do not pretend that you didn’t know that.” Eren reminded him. “And besides, I understand why you couldn’t tell me. I’m just glad it happened how it did and all worked out well with no one hurt in the end.”

Eren’s shy smile seemed genuine enough, but Zeke was still anxious. This _definitely _was not Eren.__

__Eren was a feisty, spunky, hot head with a fiery passion to set the world on fire. He answered to no one and made sure everyone knew that. Even locked in an abusive relationship with Reiner, he may have lost the means of escape, but he never lost his fire. Reiner would both bitch about it constantly and claim to absolutely adore it._ _

__Even with Erwin demanding his subservience, Eren never gave it to him. At the funeral, Zeke could see in Eren’s eyes the determination to manipulate the man and getting what he wanted. When the beatings started, he ran. And he was almost successful. Even after being captured and enduring one of the worst nights of his life, he still fired venom back at Erwin._ _

__But this, this was not Eren. This was a shell of what Eren had once been. Usually a boiling storm, now simmered down to an obedient and subservient housewife that the Eren he knew would never stoop to. Why was this all that was left of him? It was so out of character, it made Zeke’s stomach churn. Looks like he’s going to kill that midget._ _

__“Eren,” Zeke started and caught his brother’s attention. “How um. How is Levi? Is he good to you?”_ _

__“Hm?” Eren seemed to be a bit confused at what he was asking. “Oh yes, Levi is wonderful to me. Why do you ask?”_ _

__“Because you don’t seem like yourself.”_ _

__“What do you mean?” Eren half laughed. “I’m absolutely fine. Better than fine. I’m great! Can’t you see that? See how happy I am with Levi?”_ _

__“No,” Zeke admitted and watched Eren closely. “You’re not acting fine. You’re not yourself anymore.”_ _

__“How dare you say that!” Eren was now genuinely offended, the spark of his old passion and temper returning. “What are you implying? That my husband and I don’t love each other? You’re wrong! We love each other very much!’_ _

__Zeke shook his head, bits of Eren were still there, tucked away but coming back to the surface with ease. That comforted him a little, but he couldn’t completely let go because Eren was still so submissive compared to how he used to be._ _

__He didn’t seem to even like Levi when they first met, and he only confessed a type of love in a fit of delirium with a raging fever brought on by an infection. Now he was declaring undying love for him only a few days after having a surprise marriage thrown onto him?_ _

__What the hell was going on?_ _

__“Eren is Levi hurting you in any way?”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“Eren--”_ _

__“I’m done talking about this, brother!” Eren stormed away and left Zeke in the dust, confused and contemplating what his next moves will be._ _

__Going to Levi was a start. After exiting the cellar, Zeke made his way over to the office of the king’s personal bodyguard. The perks of having worked in the palace before, he knew the layout mostly well._ _

__When he walked in, sure enough, Levi was behind the desk staring at some paperwork. He looked up at Zeke and made his annoyance clear with a disgusted facial expression._ _

__“What do you want now, Monkey?”_ _

__“What the fuck are you doing to Eren!”_ _

__“Not a damn thing.” Levi was telling the truth, it was up to Zeke if he believed him or not. “Right away his personality shifted on a dime. He immediately started acting like a beaten housewife living in constant fear of the consequences for the smallest mistakes.”_ _

__“This is your fault!”_ _

__“Eat shit.” Levi threw down his paperwork. “I have already sent for mental health doctors to see him everyday and help with his recovery. They told me his current state is a result of all the trauma. A defense mechanism. He thinks if he can be the perfect spouse, he will have earned not to get beatings. He’s jumpy too, very on edge. I suggest you stay out of our business, and give Eren some space to work with the doctors and recover.”_ _

__“Hm. This sounds exactly like what an abuser would say.”_ _

__“You want to see the patient summaries for their visits?” Levi reached into Kenny’s desk, down to his cabinet and pulled out the medical paperwork on Eren, throwin it to Zeke. “If you’re so worried about that being forged, talk to the doctors who signed it. In other news, I sent for your parents, Eren wants to see them.”_ _

__Zeke looked through the paperwork and read what they had to say. It seemed legit enough, he decided not to press it further. For now. What really got to him now was learning that Grisha and Carla were going to visit._ _

__Zeke wasn’t exactly the favorite child, and it was made pretty clear to anyone who saw it. Having to be near his father and the bitch he left mother for was not exactly Zeke’s favorite thing, but he would always put up with them and their scorn for Eren._ _

__“Great. Dad and what's-her-face are coming by to remind me of how much of a disappointment I am. I can’t wait.”_ _

__Levi raised a brow at his statement. “Huh? Don’t get along with your parents?”_ _

__“Being who cursed me to exist in this world, and bitch he dumped the other evildoer who forced me into existence without my consent, for.”_ _

__“Wow, I take it you hate your parents almost as much as you hate life.” Levi was close to laughing, Zeke’s next words didn’t help._ _

__“Life is a curse, and existence is a prison! I need a drink!”_ _

__“For someone who hates both parents and your step mother, you seem to really care about the other woman’s child.”_ _

__“Eren is innocent. He has done nothing wrong.” Zeke told Levi. He may hate Carla and Grisha, but he would always love Eren unconditionally. Eren who loved him ever since he was a child and has always loved him throughout his bad life decisions. Eren who was always there for Zeke. More than Zeke was there for him. “As much as I hate them, they gave me a loving brother to always care for. I could never hate Eren.”_ _

__Levi was quiet, fascinated at the Jaeger family drama that was unfolding before him. The divorced and remarried parents, the trainwreck eldest son, and the youngest son who couldn't catch a break in the cruel world he was born into._ _

__“Fascinating.” Levi shook his head. “I can’t wait to see more.”_ _

__“What?” Zeke shot Levi a strange look._ _

__“Nothing. Never mind.” Levi cleaned up the paperwork he had taken out and stored it away again. “You know, since you don’t really have anywhere to stay and you don’t seem interested in heading home, why don’t you stay with Eren and I for the time being?”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nekk1 this is for you! Since you were wondering about our mans Zeke. I don't know how to tag.


	16. Is Any of This Real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is real? What isn't real?
> 
> TW: Hints of past abuse, hints of non-con drugging, mentions of part traumatic events, hints of possible delusions, hints of possible hallucinations, mentions of past suicide.

Eren stared blankly at the ceiling fan going round and round and round…

“Eren.” Eren glanced over at the doctor who sat in the chair next to the couch Eren was currently lounding on. “You went silent on me. Tell me, what happened after Reiner rejected your request for a divorce?”

“I told my parents the truth of what had been going on.” Eren laid back and listened to the doctors pen scratch against his notepad. “They were immediately ready to help me, but Reiner would never let me rest. I had forgotten about his pistol, and he used that to pressure me in that moment to not seek a divorce. I was locked away in that house for a few months after that.”

“You speak of your old home as if it were a prison.”

“Never a home, only a prison.” Eren shifted onto his side, facing the couch back, he couldn’t get comfortable as of late and nothing he tried ever helped relieve the pressure. “All I have ever been in were prisons. My childhood home, the military barracks, Reiner’s house, Erwin’s house, the palace prison.”

“Do you think of where you live now as a prison?”

Eren thought about it for a while, mulled it over. Did he find himself in a new prison? No. No he didn’t. He was there for his own safety, not because he was forced there for someone’s pleasure. Levi was very good to him, even if he was asking for more than what Eren felt he could provide.

“No.” Eren answered plainly. “This place isn’t a prison. I don’t think,”

“You seem unsure.”

“I’m unsure about a lot of things these days.” Eren shifted again, laying on the side facing the doctor, who was still scribbling at his notes.  


“What do you think makes you so unsure about things?”

“I don’t know.” Eren shrugged. “I guess it’s because I’m thinking of things I shouldn’t be.”

“What do you mean things you shouldn’t be thinking of?”

Eren’s head was starting to hurt, he was hearing his heartbeat in his ear and he knew for sure he was focusing on things he definitely wasn’t supposed to be.  


“I just shouldn't, can we drop the topic?” Eren held his hands over his ears. “It’s giving me a headache.”

The doctor was now on his knees next to Eren, trying to instruct him to breath and to relax him, but it wasn’t working. Eren was overwhelmed by the pain in his head and the uncomfortable pain that ached in his body, but as soon as it started, it stopped.

Eren breathed out a sigh in relief and stayed slumped against the sofa for a few moments. The doctor was trying to get his attention, but he paid him no mind. His eyes slid closed and all he wanted was to focus on absolutely nothing.

His wish was never granted as a sharp nock on the front door of Levi’s fancy suite alerted him. He ought to be a good husband and be doing everything he should be to make Levi’s home suitable, presentable.

Eren slowly rose for the couch, on account of how lethargic he had been, and approached the door. When he opened it, he felt his heart sink so fast he could have passed out right then and there. His parents stood outside, waiting patiently for him to allow them entry.

There was silence between them. Eren felt frozen, wasn’t it just yesterday that he had asked Levi to see his parents? Or, was it a few days ago? No. It had been nearly two weeks, right? Eren was mumbling to himself, trying to unscramble the messed up timeline in his head.

“Eren.” Carla’s voice broke his thought and he looked over at her. “Eren, honey, are you alright?”

Both of his parents were looking at Eren with a concerned expression, like they had before. Had they? He knew they had but he couldn’t recall when. 

“Mother, Father,” Eren had to snap out of his swirling thoughts and greet his parents like the good son he was. Good son? Or troubled bitch? Where had he heard that before? “I'm so happy you both could make it. I haven’t seen you in seemingly forever. I know I haven’t written in a while but…”

His words died on his lips, the unbelievably upset expressions on his parents faces halted his train of thought. Well, what thoughts he had left. He was slowly backing away and into the apartment suite.

His foot hit the back of a chair and he nearly jumped half a meter in the air. The world was dark around him, the air cold, and his heart racing. He was scared. Terrified. Why? Another wave of terrible pain coursed through him.

“Darling, you’re glowing.” The room was warm and bright again, and the pain was gone. Carla was smiling warmly at him, her hand on his abdomen. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us! Though, I suppose I don’t blame you. Wouldn’t want to give that bitch Karina more reasons to throw temper tantrums.”

Eren laughed at her joke with her, he was feeling better already, his head clearing up. The threatening aurora around them evaporated, and Eren wondered if it was ever even there to begin with, or if he just made it up. He probably just made it up.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice.” Eren felt his eyes watering as he looked into the faces of his loving parents. “I’m so glad I could see you again.”

“We wouldn’t pass up on seeing you for the world.” Grisha was now the one talking, his arms wrapped tightly around Eren’s waist, head resting on his son’s shoulder. Eren relaxed into the embrace, it just felt so good to be with his family again.

His family who always loved and protected him. Cared for him deeply, and spoiled their favorite child. Their pretty Eren, the crown jewel of their family. He was loved.

Or, was he? Next to warm memories of his loving family, flashes of dark and frightening images danced in his vision. Faces yelling, unkind words being spat at him, hands grabbing him. Pain all around him.

Was this real? Was any of this real?

Eren had stumbled back again and was now pressed into a corner. His parents were shouting something at him. Chills ran down his spine and another wave of pain hit him like a brick. He had no idea what he said or did this time to offend them, all he could do was cry out apologies between ragged breaths.

He heard his parents mumble something quieter this time, but he couldn’t make out what they said because his head was pounding too loudly. He reached up to hold his head in his hands and grip his hair, but soon flinched when a hand pulled one of his away and placed a few small, white capsules in his hand.

His medication. He used to be on heavy medication as a child. It was to help with his insomnia, nightmares, and violent mood swings. However he stopped taking them as he got older, thinking he just outgrew his childhood fits. Now here they were again, placed right back into his palm and he was told to take them.

He didn’t want to take them, though. He would always feel groggy and out of touch with reality when he did take them, but when he didn’t take them, a whole new set of problems were thrust upon him.

His parents were pressuring him to consume the medication, but he just shook his head no and set the small handful of pills down on the table. Pills. If it wasn’t pills, it was drawn up in a syringe and injected into him. Or put into his food and drink to consume.

Images of Reiner handing him a glass of wine at their wedding party four years ago played on repeat in his head. It wasn’t just that one time. There were other times where he took a bite of or sip of something and his brain completely fogged over with little to no memory of what happened next.

He never liked when that happened. Usually that was when he woke up in strange places he was unfamiliar with. The hotel room after his wedding night, a desolate and cold cabin floor in the middle of the woods, the basement a few times, other soldiers' tents or bunkers, questionable restroom floors.

Why was this coming back to him now?

And there was still something he was forgetting, what was it?

“Eren… Eren…! Eren!” The voices of his parents calling out to him were muffled, but htet cleared up fast. The wave of pain that had hit Eren had also disappeared, and he was now standing upright next to the table.

“Hm?” Eren’s eyes reflected an innocent curiosity of what had just happened, no memory lingering. “What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Fear and panic was about to build in him again, but his parents stumbled over their words to try and assure him that nothing was the matter, Even if their expressions said differently.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Eren repeated, his breath threatening to become ragged again, body tensing up in apprehension. “Why do you look at me as if I am some freak of nature!”

“Honey, we don’t think of you like that--”

“LIAR!” Carla’s words were cut off by Eren, lost and forgotten memories of a past he wasn’t sure were nonexistent or not came back to him. “You’ve always hated me! Both of you! You tried to kill me that day, the cabin in the woods.”

“Oh goddesses Eren, you’re misremembering things again!” Grisha cut in. “We never tried to kill you! It was those kidnapers! I’m surprised you even remember that, I thought the medications helped.”

“What?” Eren was taken aback. Oh that’s right, there were three men that day. Kidnapers. Attempting to sell him on the black market. Why? Why him of all people? He might have heard the answer once before, but he can’t remember it. “Oh, maybe it was something else.”

Eren was feeling lightheaded agin, sweaty and ragged breathing, more pain hit him, but this time, it was intense and debilitating. He bit through his lip to keep from screaming. His parents were at his side again, bombarding him with more questions he couldn’t answer.

This time, the pain didn’t fade quickly like it had prior, it was longer lasting, but eventually over. When it was, Eren composed himself again and combed a hand through his hair.

“I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine.” He mumbled over and over. There was a stillness that followed afterwards. A moment of tranquility before all hell broke loose.

***

“So I was thinking,” Zeke was carrying a bag of groceries as he walked with Levi back to his apartment suite. “You’re probably going to need a babysitter here soon, right? So, what if I stay around for a bit longer and help out with the new baby?”

“You’re just looking for an excuse to stay by Eren’s side longer.” It had been about two weeks since he invited Zeke to live with them, and there was really nothing to complain about. The man would check on Eren here and there, drink his booze, but mostly leave them alone. “Either that or you want to stay living somewhere you don’t have to pay rent.”

“Hey, if my ex wives didn’t own absolutely everything I had down to my testicles, it would be a different story.” They both knew the truths, yet they were both benefiting from each other, despite the rocky not-really-friendship they had. “Besides you like having me around! So dose Eren.”

“I will admit, you are a fun pet. Now sit boy.”

Zeke gasped offendedly. “Is that all you think of me? I thought there was something more between us!”

“The only thing between us is an imaginary brick wall that maybe if I wish for enough, it’ll come true.”

“And Eren.”

Silence again, they had nothing else to talk about as they approached Levi’s apartment. Eren’s visit with the doctor should be over by now. Levi hoped it was helping. When he last talked to him, the doctor said something about how large chunks of Eren’s memory were gone and he was trying to resurface them.

Whether or not that was a smart idea wasn’t up to him, he just wanted Eren to heal so he could see the vibrant life behind his eyes again. He was certain Zeke felt the same way.

As soon as they approached the door, something was wrong. Loud voices muffled by the door alerted them. Who the hell was in his apartment?

Levi stuffed the groceries he was carrying in Zeke’s arms and barged in, searching for the source of the noise. He found his answer quickly, it made his blood run cold.

The Jaeger family were there, they were arguing about something, Eren meanwhile looked completely dazed and in pain. He was sitting at the table with his fists in his hair as his parents argued, and tried to argue with him.

They all seemed to quiet down pretty quickly when they noticed Levi and Zeke. Another awkward slice settled as Zeke and Grisha exchanged harsh looks. Carla was looking between Levi and Eren, who hadn’t seemed to notice them yet.

“Mister Akerman…” She started. “Thank you again for inviting us.”

“Why are you here?” Grisha cut right to the chase, his focus still on Zeke.

“Because I was also invited, Dad.” Zeke spat out with just as much animosity.

“You invited him too?” Grisha’s attention was now on Levi, as if he had committed a crime by inviting his eldest son. “Why?”

“Why not?” Levi didn’t care what the man thought, he was going to do what he wanted. Yet he couldn’t deny the entertainment that came with the family drama. “He was around and Eren is comfortable with him nearby. So why not?”

Eren. Shit. He forgot about him. Eren was still more or less in the same position, looking uncomfortable still. Levi slowly approached him. “Eren?” He called out.

Eren looked up right away and jumped up to greet him. “Levi! I I didn’t see you there!” He walked over and pulled Levi into a loving embrace and kissed him. “How was your day? I uh, I didn’t really get much done.”

“Did you talk to your doctor?” Eren nodded. The doctor had left earlier when his parents came by. He hadn't even notice him leaving.

“Doctor? What is Eren seeing a doctor for?” Grihsa asked and turned his attention from his eldest to youngest. “Why didn’t you alert me sooner? I would have come earlier. You should’ve told me, I know your medical history after all.”

“I’m sorry Father, at the time it just wasn’t--”

“He’s seeing a doctor to work through some mental health things. Not that of the body.” Levi cut in now, he rested his head on his spouse’s shoulder.

“You _what? _” Both of Eren’s parents blurted out, causing Eren to jump. Zeke on the other hand had erupted into laughter.__

__“Oh shit this is getting good!” Zeke had to hold the wall to stand up. “Better be careful or your secret is gonna get out!”_ _

__“Zeke I swear to the Goddesses, you speak another word and I will kill you.”_ _

__“Go ahead and try, _Dad! _Wouldn’t be the first time!”___ _

____“That was your mother!”_ _ _ _

____“No, that was your fault.” Zeke reminded him. “You were the reason mom hung herself!”_ _ _ _

____“She was a sick woman, that was not my fault!”_ _ _ _

____The two could have argued forever, but they were cut off by Eren screaming them to shut up. He was panting and diaphoretic, clearly in a lot of pain._ _ _ _

____“The both of you just shut the fuck up!” Eren demanged, his grip on the chair next to him was turning his knuckles white. “Why is it that everytime you two are together, you fight the entire time! Enough family drama already! Can’t we call just be happy for five fucking minuites?”_ _ _ _

____He was starting to breathe normally again as the pain subsided. That was when the realization hit Levi._ _ _ _

____“Uh, Eren?”_ _ _ _

____Eren turned around to look at him. “Hm?”_ _ _ _

____“How long have you been having contractions?”_ _ _ _

____“Huh? What are you talking about? I haven’t--” Eren ate his own words as he thought back to the past hour. Few hours? Few minutes? He didn’t even know._ _ _ _

____“Ah shit.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was another fucked-up one. So, what're everyone's thoughts? Did everything really happen? Was it all in Eren's head? What's true about the past and what isn't? What's being hidden away? 
> 
> Who knows.


	17. The Death of Eren Jaeger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBH this took so long because for the first part of the chapter, I had no idea what to write. So the first part kind of sucks, but the second part is a lot better because I had a vision with that!
> 
> TW: Mentions of past everything, drugging, confrontation of trauma, major character death.
> 
> EDIT: Now that the next chapter is out, I changed the name of the chapter to what I was really planning on it being called. I just didn't want to start out with that for fear of losing readers.

Eren’s screams echoed through the small sized apartment. He was in a lot of pain, and requesting medications to help. Grisha had something that he was continuously giving him every few hours, though Levi wasn’t sure what it was. 

He wanted to just throw them out, since both of Eren’s parents were clearly hiding something unpleasant and as much as Levi wanted to know, it was only hurting Eren. He decided he’d just ask Zeke later, as the man already admitted to knowing their “secret.”

To make matters worse, there was no doctor around for Eren, only his doctor father, who was adamant he was the only one who was able to treat Eren.

It also didn’t help that Zeke and him were still going on with their constant arguments.

“That’s probably enough sedatives, dad!” Zeke shouted and tried to rip a vial from Grisha’s hands.

“This is all I have on hand!” Grisha tried to fight him off. “You want to go get an epidural within an hour, be my guest!”

“Oh come on! You have to have something more than that crap!”

“Zeke I swear to the goddesses--”

“By the Walls you two,” Now Carla was joining their fight. “Eren was right! Can’t we all just get along for once?”

“Easy for you to say, bitch!” Zeke’s anger quickly switched to her, and anger for her he had an abundance of. “You’re half of the problem with this family!”

“You claim to hate me so much, yet you're obsessed with my son!” The woman shot back, Levi could see right away where Eren;s fire came from.

“Eren is different! Leave him out of this!”

“I am right here!” Eren was shoved into bed when the realization of labor hit everyone, and he was still in a lot of pain. “You all talk of me as if I am just some object! Right in front of me!”

“Sweetie, you’re not an object!” Carla was back at his side and held his arm out as Grisha pushed a needle into his vein. “We don’t talk of you as such. You’re just, mishearing things again.”

“I seem to do that a lot, huh?” Eren frowned. He was becoming more and more upset with his parents the more sealed away memories were released. “I used to do that a lot too. Like when I ‘misheard’ how much profit I’d make you if you sold me around for a bit.”

The Jaeger’s froze and Zeke snorted.

“Honey, you misheard that--”

“Bullshit!”

“What the actual fuck is going on.” Levi gawked between the four of them. The more they talked, the more they incriminated themselves. Terrifying and perverted images of the abuse Eren could have suffered at the hands of his selfish and greedy family flashed in Levi’s mind.

“Ok.” Levi shook his head as if to clear his mind. “Clearly none of you can get along, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“NO!” The Jaeger family shouted in unison. Levi huffed. The day he snapped, they were the first to go.

“Ok, then I would like to have a nice talk with you all outside!” Levi stood up from the side of the bed, but Eren reached out and grabbed his arm in a tight grip, making him look back at his love.

“No.” Eren begged. “Don’t go. Please. Don’t leave me alone.”

The innocent and pleading look in Eren’s eyes halted Levi in his tracts, and he laid back down at Eren’s side, pulling his husband into his arms.

“Just for you.” Levi brushed some of Eren’s long locks away from his sweaty forehead. “How are you holding up?”

“M’okay.” Eren said, trying to keep his composure, even though Levi could see clear as day when the pain came with the contractions. “I’m fine. Just stay with me, Levi.”

Levi nodded. They had been at this for a few hours now, it was taking a while and from the looks of things, it was going to take a long while.

“If you need anything, let me know.” Levi told Eren.

“I just need you.” It was Eren’s turn to reach a hand up to Levi’s face and caress his cheek. “I just need you to stay by my side.”

“As if I’d rather be anywhere else.” Eren giggled at Levi’s comment, and they could hear Grisha and Zeke off to the side, scoffing at the sappiness of the scene in front of them. Levi shot a glare at them.

Before more words of disdain could be shared, Eren threw his head back and monad in pain with another contraction. It was going to be a long few days, and Eren’s family was just going to make it worse.

Levi placed a cool washcloth on Eren’s forehead, which soothed him a bit. Grisha drew up more medication in his syringe and gave it to Eren. His arm was starting to bruise bad with each dose.

After the medication was given, and Eren was laying back in bed with his eyes closed sleepily, Levi used the opportunity. He broke away from Eren and shoved Zeke and Grisha out of the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

“Alright you two,” Levi started with a menacing tone. “Work out whatever the fuck you need to. Today is not about you, it’s about Eren, and if you can’t get along then you’re both getting kicked out.”

“Absolutely not, I’m Eren’s doctor.” Grisha hissed at him.

“Oh goddesses.” Zeek rolled his eyes. “Levi, if I were you, I’d send for literally everyone else in this palace but my dad!”

“Zeke, you’re just jealous.”

“And you’re just a spineless coward who’s obsessed with his youngest son.”

“And you wonder why I hate you.”

“Ok ladies,” Levi cut in. “As much as I love watching your girl fights, I seriously need you two to get it together. For Eren, for his baby.”

“I’m not working with him.” Zeke said plainly.

“Perfect! Get out.” Levi was done dealing with Zeke. “Either get out, or put your pride and your past aside and just be there for Eren!”

There was a silence now, Zeke seemed to have given up, and Grisha didn’t want to push his luck, so he kept quiet as well. 

“Great! The girls have finally decided to halt the cat fighting for two seconds.” Levi walked back into the bedroom. Carla was at Eren’s side, her hand on his shoulder. Eren faced away from her, waiting for Levi.

Eren sat up when Levi returned to his side. “Why’d you leave me?”

“Only for a few moments.” Levi assured him with a peck on the cheek. “How are you holding up?”

“You keep asking me that.” Eren chuckled and laid down on his back. “I’m fine. I’m just sick of this.”

“I don’t blame you.” Levi sat on the side of the bed next to him. He kept a close eye on Zeke and Grisha.

Zeke took a seat in the bedside chair and said nothing, Grisha was giving Eren more medications. Levi furrowed his brow. He didn’t know a lot about medications, but the amount Eren had been given in such a short time seemed excessive.

“Are you sure that’s a smart thing to do?” Levi questioned.

“I assure you Mister Akerman, it’s fine.” Levi was still weary of his answer, but Eren wasn’t complaining, so he assumed it was fine.

He didn’t think a whole lot more of it, as Eren was very clingy, and very cute. Levi chuckled and brushed some hair out of his face when Eren demanded to cuddle into his side. Eren clinked lazily at him and didn’t say much.

For now, they were stuck in the torture of waiting for Eren to dilate and have the baby. The monotony of the waiting and Eren’s discomfort as contractions came and went were so far the worst part.

Pretty soon, Eren will have the baby and Levi will be a step father until he could officially go through with adopting them. He had to admit, he was a bit nervous at the thought of being a parent. He knew nothing about parenting, and he was pretty sure Kenny knew even less.

Either way, he was married to Eren now, and as great as the sex was and how much he wanted to just spend every waking hour of the day in bed with Eren, they were going to have a baby to care for. Levi hoped he would adjust well.

What was eating at his mind as much as he didn’t want to admit it, was the thought of the adopting falling through due to a legal document switch-up like he used to trick Erwin. Erwin was smart, and it wouldn’t be past him to give Levi a taste of his own medicine. Not to mention, they haven’t heard form Erwin in a while, and it was making Levi nervous as to what he had planned next. He decided he’d be careful and talk to Rod and Uri about the adoption in private so nothing could fall though.

Levi decided he’d worry about what came next once the baby was born. Right now he needed to be there for Eren. His attention turned back to his husband, and immediately he recognised something was wrong.

Eren was staring off to the side, eyes half lidded and unfocused. The usual captivating green color in his eyes completely gone and replaced with a foggy gray spreading over his eyes. He had the eyes of death.

“Eren.” Levi stat up and called to him, gently shaking his should. The sudden change in behaviour had alerted the Jaeger family, who were now watching them. “Eren hey, are you ok? Talk to me Eren. Wake up.”

Eren never so much as twitched. 

Panic started to settle in Levi and the Jaeger’s. They were all on top of Eren now, pulling, shaking, screaming, do anything to rouse him. Nothing worked. Eren’s blank eyes taunted them with their unmoving stare.

Desperation.

Levi had never felt so desperate for anything in his life as he did right now, willing for Eren to show any signs of life, willing him to live.

Levi was practically on top of Eren now, both hands collapsed tightly onto his shoulders and shaking his upper half as roughly as he could.

“Eren!”

“Eren!”

“EREN!”

***

Eren hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep. When he woke up, he wasn’t in Levi’s bed surrounded by his family as they waited for the baby to come. No. He was on a beach. No, not a beach. A desert. A desert with nothing but endless sand and a starry dark blue sky above him.

Eren sat up and looked around more. Looking for anything, anything at all. That was when he noticed he was laying right in front of a large glowing white tree. It was a strange sight. There were no leaves, only branches.

Eren stood up and started to walk closer to it. The tree had a strange pull, and as if Eren were in a trance, he advanced closer to the tree. Right as he was about to reach out and place is hand on the glowing trunk, he was scared as pair of arm wrapped around his waist from behind.

“Hello, my love. Long time no see.”

Eren froze. He knew the arms around him. Knew the hold he was in. Knew the voice that whispered in his ear.

“Reiner.”

Reiner spun Eren around and looked down at his widow. There was only a moment of stillness between them before their lips crashed together in a passionate kiss of long lost lovers. Lips gliding together, tongs slipping past teeth into the next hot cavern. A thin sting of saliva connecting their mouths when they parted.

“Oh goddess I love you Eren.”

“You never showed me love.” The high of their moment was dead to Eren before it even started. “You only showed me pain and cruelty.”

“You were a disobedient spouse.” Reiner reminded him.

“Do you remember when there was a time when you claimed you used to like my feisty personality?” Eren asked. “Because I remember it clear as day. Back in the military, you used to claim that you just loved it. It was all a lie. As soon as we were married, you did everything you could to destroy me.”

Reiner was silent. He had nothing else to say as he knew Eren was right. Eren was always right.

“What hasn’t changed is my love for you.” Reiner leaned back down to kiss Eren, but Eren just turned his face away.

“Well that has changed for me.” Emotions Eren had completely forgotten about and buried away were resurfacing. “I do not hold any love for you anymore Reiner. And I never will again.”

“How could you say something like that?”

“How could I not?” Eren yelled out. His eyes were blown wide and threatened to tear up. “After everything you did to me throughout our marriage. The drugs, the beatings, the raping, the islation, the breaking of my spirit, the killing of our first baby!”

“Speaking of baby, you were hiding something from me, weren’t you.”

“I was preventing another stillbirth.” Eren ripped away from Reiner and backed away from him. He didn’t have to answer to the dead man who ruined his life. 

“You owe me an explanation.”

“I owe you nothing.” Eren held his ground, stood tall as he faced his biggest fears. “I owe you nothing, but you owe me so so much.”

“I don’t owe you shit!” Reiner was starting to get angry. Balling his fists up and puffing out his chest like he did before beating Eren. Yet Eren wasn’t scared, not anymore. “Did you kill me?”

“You died of cardiac arrest.”

“Did you. Kill me.”

“You died of cardiac arrest.”

Reiner swung at Eren but his hand stopped inches from his face. Confused and in a panic, Reiner looked around for the source of what stopped him, but he never found it. Instead, his arm turned to sand, then his whole body.

Rener gave Eren one last pleading look as he faded into dust. “Forgive me.”

When there was only the sand in front of him, Eren felt the weight of his past and the weight of his sins disappear with the sand. It was a light, and liberating feeling.

Eren glanced back at the tree. “Goddess Ymir, hear my prayers.”

“BOO!”

Eren gasped and jumped back as another bodie spooked him from behind. When his eyes locked with the warm honey that was Sasha Brous, he started laughing. Of course Sasha would spook him like that.

“Sasha!” Eren laughed and embraced his old friend, who was also laughing. “Oh Goddess, I’ve missed you!”

“Ah, I missed you too!” Sasha tightly hugged him and they exchanged kisses on the cheek. “I’m doing great, actually!”

“But you’re dead.” Eren broke away, his mood mournful.

“Dead shmed!” Sasha waved it off. “We all die one day and I did. So what! Eren I’m happy, don’t worry about me.”

“But I will.” Eren felt morose all over again. “Sasha, I killed you. I took you away from Niccolo and he hasn’t forgiven me. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be!” Sasha grabbed his arms and smiled her warm and friendly smile at him. “Eren I keep telling you: I’m fine, Niccolo will be fine. I knew what I was doing when I got between you and the bullet. I wanted you and your baby to live. I never once regretted my decision, now it’s time for you to forgive yourself.”

Sasha knew exactly how to comfort him. Eren refused to believe he was dreaming or misremembering this moment. Sasha was a kind and gentle soul, and she held no hatred in her heart for anything, especially not him.

“Hey Eren?”

“Yes?”

Sasha grinned widely. “If you really wanted to make it up to me, then will you name your daughter after me?”

Eren laughed and shook his head. “Of course I will Sasha. I will name her Sasha Steak.”

Now Sasha was the one laughing, laughing so hard she almost feel over, having to hold onto him for stability.

“Oh Eren, you kill me!” Sasha stood up and immediately regretted her words. “Not like that! What I mean is uhh--”

“It’s fine.” Eren reassured her. “Thank you for giving me closure.”

“Anytime, old pal!”

Sasha was gone soon after. She did not turn into Sand like Reiner had, instead she walked past Eren and right into the glowing tree, never to be seen again.

Eren felt even lighter now. He had stood up to Reiner, gotten Sasha’s forgiveness, and even found out he was going to have a baby girl. A light breeze picked up and played with his hair, making it dance around him. The smell of the breeze was like that of the ocean, it was wonderful and warm.

Eren was alerted when he heard walking in the sand behind him again. He looked over and was looking down at the little girl with the blond bangs and the bucket she carried. The one from his dreams since he was a child. He knew right away who she was.

“Goddess Ymir. You have answered my prayers.”

“I haven’t done a thing.” Ymir answered. “You did that all yourself.”

Ymir set her bucket down and sat on the sand, Eren sat down next to her and watched her stare off into the starry sky.

“Beautiful here, isn’t it?” She asked. Eren nodded his head and she snorted. “Well you’re wrong. It can be pretty, sure, but this is all there is here. This boring sand and this old tree. This place is pretty boring, if you ask me.”

“Then what will you do about it?”

“Two thousand years you have asked me that. And in all of two thousand years I have never come up with an answer.”

“You should do whatever you want.” Eren smiled. “You are the goddess.”

“Nah, I’m not some old great goddess.” Ymir picked up some sand and threw it forward. “But that doesn’t really matter much, dose it?”

She chuckled a bit and looked Eren straight on, so he could see under her bangs to her eyes. “Eren, I’m here to give you a choice.”

“A choice?”

“Uh-huh.” Ymir pointed to the tree. “Go into that and you will be at peace for all eternity, but you will die. You’re dying right now, that’s why you’re here.

“If you do return back to live, you will still have to face many hardships that are part of the curse of life.”

“Like what?”

“I cannot tell you. Just know you still have fighting to do if you want to keep moving forward.”

This was it, Eren looked up at the glowing tree and debated on his decision. Die right here and rest in peace, or return to a life of pain and hardship.

He thought of every tragedy that has befallen him already in his short life. His horrible marriage, his miscariage, being raped nemours times, forced into marriages, kidnapped, beaten, sold, drugged, the list was endless. He suffered a cruel life.

Yet there was beauty in his life. The daughter he’s about to bing into the world, the tender moments with Reiner, good memories, when his family was loving, his friends, his new husband.

It was a cruel, yet beautiful world. And Eren stood up to face the glowing tree, making up his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all probably so pissed at this cliffhanger. If you think you're gonna drop because Eren's "dead" just just hold on till the next chapter, I promise you'll like it. Please. I beg of you just wait until the next chapter!


	18. I Will Never Forgive Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so so much fun, I hope y'all enjoy it too. I promise, just stick with this one to the very end and the question from last chapter will be answered!
> 
> TW: Mentions of past abuse and past rape, disturbing focuses on virginity, lots of sex in this chapter (including a new couple I'm adding because of this), creepy people/situations, unhealthy relationships, affairs/cheating, and Floch. Just... Just Floch. Him alone is a trigger.

The sun was rising fast on the battlefield between the warring countries of Paradise and Marley. As the sun rose and 7 AM neared, the night shift prepared for the shift change and were ready for bed for a few hours before being called back on duty.

Eren yawned as he packed up his supplies, it had been a busy night. From moment one, he was elbow deep in blood and guts, doing everything he could to save the lives of his wounded comrades. Now his twelve hours were over for a short time and he could rest easy.

Well, rest easy as much as Reiner would let him. No sooner had Eren crawled into his bunk that Reiner had crawled in and locked the door behind him, jumping into bed with Eren.

“Hey you!” Reiner was now on top of him, kissing at his neck and pulling his shorts off. “Miss me?”

“Mn,” Eren groaned as Reiner fell onto him, still in his military uniform, as he unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out, giving it a few strokes. “Reiner I just got off shift.”

“Yeah I did too!” Reiner waisted no time pushing his erection into Eren and started humping him like a jack rabbit. “I’m not tired yet. I want to spend some time with my beautiful fiancée first.”

Eren moaned lowly, sex still wasn’t his favorite thing, defiantly something he was still getting used to, but he didn’t want to crush Reiner and tell him how much he really didn’t enjoy it. He kept his promise that he wouldn’t just fuck Eren once and abandon him, he truly wanted Eren and only Eren like he said.

“Reiner, we should use protection sometime.” Eren gasped when Reiner hit that one sweet spot that actually gave him a shock of pleasure. Too bad Reiner didn’t hit it often. “I don’ wanna be dishonorably discharged for being pregnant.”

“Get pregnant we’ll just get you an abortion.” Reiner panted out as his hips bumped into Eren’s perineum with each thrust. “Besides, you know I can’t feel a thing in those damn condoms.”

“Excuses, excuses.” Eren breathed out. He knew Reiner was just making up excuses because he simply didn’t like condoms. He’d always say he’ll pull out, but he rarely actually did, leaving Eren to pray to the goddesses as he bathed and tries to wash himself out. “And you know I could never do something like get an abortion and kill life.”

“Eren you really need to dump this religious shit.” Reiner’s thrusts were getting faster and harder as he neared his climax. He sloppily hit Eren’s sweet spot a few more times, earning some pleasured moans from the one beneath him.

The sounds of Eren’s moaning pushed Reiner over the edge as he ejaculated, quivering and clinging to Eren. Eren meanwhile got a buildup to no pay off, causing him to get frustrated. It didn’t help that the strange and forgin feeling of cum in his gut made him even more uncomfortable.

“Did you cum?” Reiner asked and Eren smiled shyly and nodded. He wanted to just be done so he could go clean himself off and get to bed before his next shift. He also really didn’t feel like dealing with Reiner’s half-assed attempts to get him off that usually took too long and never finished properly. “Great. I’m gonna head to bed too. See you in a few hours, honey.”

“By darling.” Eren gave Reiner a quick kiss before he unlocked the door and left. Once he was gone Eren groaned and got up from the bed, heading to the bathhouse to try and wash out the cum in an attempt to avoid pregnancy.

He had hoped he would be alone, and thankfully, he was. Eren breathed out a sigh of relief and grabbed some clean water to wash off with. It was cold, Eren didn’t feel like heating it up. He only needed it clean off the cum from his dripping hole and call it good, He didn’t even bother removing his shirt. The cold water also helped to kill the erection he got from the few moments of fleeting pleasure that was soon forgotten. 

It didn’t take long to clean himself off the best he could, but it was still waisted time that kept him from peaceful sleep. He was going to be either tired during his next shift, or hungry if he decided to sleep through lunch.

Eren sighed as he watched the white water slowly thin out until it was completely clear. He was so lost in his own tired and swimming thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed someone else enter and sneak up right behind him.

“Hey there Emerald.” Eren yelped out when the words were whispered in his ear, he grabbed the half-filled bucket of water next to him and spached it on his intruder.  


“Hey! I didn’t mean to scare ya! Why you gotta splash me with cold water?”

Eren groaned internally when he realized who was with him: it was fucking Floch Forster. Floch was probably the absolute worst soldier among them, yet he thought he was the best. Overly confident and completely full of himself. It didn’t help that he was the only soldier to survive a doomed mission once and ever since, declared he was the best of the best and blessed by the goddesses for his amazing battle skills. Battle skills of a wet pickle with the most clear and easy sniper shot out in the open with a giant red target, yet somehow he still misses. 

It also didn’t help that since day one he had confessed his attraction to Eren, yet no matter how much Eren would shut him down, he never took the hint and left him alone. Eren never liked him from day one, his personality was garbage and he wasn’t physically appealing to Eren. It was entirely the hair. The goddamned awful fucking hair with the wort tuft of fluff at the very top of his bangs. That hair offended him almost for than Floch himself did.

“What do you want, Forster?” Eren was tired, cold, hungry, and leaking cum from bad sex. His patients with Floch was much thinner than normal.

“Oh come on! I keep telling you to just call me Floch, Eren!” Floch leaned uncomfortably close to Eren, stealing glances at his naked lower half. “We’re on first name terms you know.”

“I really wish we weren’t.” Eren noticed his eyes wandering right away and covered himself with a towel. “I’m just finishing up with a quick bath after my shift, and you please just leave me alone?”

“Oh come on! I wanna talk!” Floch attempted to sling an arm around Eren, but got a harsh slap to the hand when he tried. “You know I switched to night shift so we could have the same schedule!”

“Great. More time dealing with you. That’s exactly what I want.”

“I know, right!” Eren’s sarcasm had clearly gone right over Floch’s horrendous hair. Simple minded. “I think we should go out for dinner sometime.”

“I think I’d rather die then be caught in public with you.”

“You don’t mean that!” Floch teased and Eren seriously debated choking him to death with his own dog tags, but he refrained because he knew Floch would like that.  


“C’me on, it’ll be fun! Just you and me, some sweet wine, good food, I’ll fuck your brains out.”

“Oh my goddess I hate you.”

“Look, we can either go out and I’ll treat you like a princess, or we can fit in a quick fuck right here, right now.” Floch reached down and went to touch Eren between the legs, but Eren’s hand snapped up and held his chicken bone arm in a death grip.

“Touch me and you die.” Eren warned, venom leaking from his voice. Why the hell Floch couldn’t get the hint was beyond him. Must be hard living with a brain the size of a walnut. No, walnut was too big for Floch. More like the size of a pea. 

Floch was at least smart enough not to push Eren further. He ripped his arm away from Eren’s death grip. “We’ll chat later, okay?”

“How about never.”

“Love you!” Floch got up and quickly ran out. Eren debating grabbing Floch’s handgun from his holster and shooting him. No, he’d get in trouble for that, even if everyone secretly hoped he was the next to go.

Eren sighed, dried off, and dressed himself. He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep. As he made his way back to the bunker he shared with a few other medics, he was stopped from reaching peace yet again by another soldier crossing his path. It was Mikasa.

“Eren.” A deep blush spread over her cheeks as she spoke his name abd pronounced the hard N in his name as a soft H. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. How’ve you been.”

“I’m tired, Mikasa.” Eren answered bluntly. He really liked Mikasa, but it became very clear very fast that she wanted something more that he didn’t want. It sucked to be so distant from his good friend that he made so fast, but he could never love her as she did him. He would have only broken her heart if he played along. “How was your latest mission?”

“Fine.” Mikasa admitted. “I thought of you the entire time.”

“You shouldn’t think of me like that, Mikasa.” Eren told her. “I don’t feel that way about you.”

“Come on! Give me a chance and I can change your mind--!”

“No!” Eren shouted out, more forceful than he intended. “No, Mikasa! I already have to deal with Forster’s unwanted advances, I really don’t feel like dealing with more when all I’m trying to do is go to bed for a few hours before my shift!”

“You’ve been super tired lately, and sleeping a lot. Are you ill?” Mikasa questioned. Her expression darkened when he mentioned Floch. “Oh goddess, him again? He’s like that one percent of germs that hand sanitizer can’t kill. No mater what anyone dose, he won’t die! Want me to just kill him for you?”

Eren laughed at her jokes, and she chuckled too. They really did click, and they became fast friends when Eren had saved her from the brink of death after she was fatally wounded. Now if only she could just accept that they were better as friends and leave him alone, things would be perfect between them.

“Hell yes! Get him, Mikasa! Just make it look like an accident or something. I’m pretty sure no one would bat an eye if Floch ‘accidently’ shot himself from his own stupidity.”

“I could walk in the mess hall right now, pull my handgun and shoot him in the face and no one would bat an eye.” Mikasa joked as her and Eren laughed more. “Hell, I might even get promoted!”

“Mikasa Akerman! Best solder around! Not because she’s the most talented soldier but because she finally got rid of the fucking pest in the military!” Eren jokingly announced. Once their laughter quieted down and it was back to silence between them. “I’m gonna get to bed. You should too, we only have a few hours of sleep before the next shift.”

“Sleep well, Eren.”

“You too.”

By the time Eren had finally gotten Reiner’s horny needs fulfilled for the time being, a quick bath, put up with Floch, and ran into Mikasa, he had already waisted two and a half hours of valuable sleeping time. Knowing that he was going to need some help if he actually wanted to feel rested, Eren reached in his medicine bag that his father had carefully made for him since he was a child. He took out two of his sleeping pills and downed them without any water. 

He tried to avoid his sleeping medications when he could, as they would always make him so groggy and out of it when he woke up. Sometimes he’d even end up puking. Yet it was the only way his stress induced body was going to get any rest. So he decided he’d deal with the consequences later, right now he just needed to sleep.

As soon as his head hit the pillow again, he was out cold for a few hours. He only stirred when halfway through his night, a large body crawled into his tiny bottom bunk bed with him. Eren groaned lowly, he knew exactly who it was, broad chest and front pressed into his skinny backside. His hand reached behind his head and he stroked the long, messy beard.

“How was your mission, brother?” Eren yawned as Zeke grabbed his hand and kissed his palm a few times before letting him go.

“Sucked. Same as always.” Zeke answered bluntly. For being as high-ranking as a soldier as he was, he hated work. Zeke held the War Chief spot, directly under Mike Zacheres, who was Commander Ewin smith’s number two. Next to Commander Smith and maybe Armin himself, Zeke was the best strategist of the army, and he held one of the longest service time in all of Paradise’s military. “Missions suck, I hate them same as always. I worry constantly if I’m ever gonna make it back home to you and Pieck.”

“Well then go lay in bed with your wife, not your brother! I want to sleep.” Eren whined. Though he knew Zeke was not going to go to bed with his wife, Pieck, who was the leader of the supply unit, tonight. He was going to lay with Yelena, the weapons expert and his mistress of a few years now. Eren had discovered their affair when he got up to use the toilet one night and passed Yelena’s quarters, door wide open and Yelena between his legs, sucking him off. Zeke’s high pitched scream and the height he jumped when he noticed that Eren had discovered them nearly woke the whole military. Ever since, he begged Eren to keep his mouth shut, which he did. Thought he knew his brother well. Knew how careless Zeke could get. It wouldn’t be long before Pieck would discover his affair and divorce him. It was going to be a shame when it happened, Eren liked his sister in law very much. “Or go lay with Yelena. Whatever, I don’t care.”

“SHH!” Zeke hissed in his ear. “Keep your mouth shut! I don’t need anyone finding out then it spreading back to Pieck!”

“Wow, for once you’re careful.” Eren snorted. “Maybe next time, when you’re getting a blowjob from your mistress, you could at least close the door.”

“You little shit.”

“I’m the monster you made and I’m coming for you.” Eren chuckled and reached back to peck Zeke on the nose, something they used to do as children that Zeke absolutely adored.

“You cute little shit! I envy the lucky bastard you chose!”

“Creepy!” Eren teased.

“Speaking of which.” Zeke’s tone darkened a bit, and Eren’s heart sank. “I heard a rumor going around about that actually. Eren, are you engaged to Reiner Braun?”

Eren’s blood ran cold. He was wide awake now. He couldn’t tell the truth to Zeke. Even if he was the best brother he could ever have, how could Eren explain that his virginity was stolen, Riner killed the bastard, and now was entitled to him as he was probably the only one would accept Eren as he was, impure and tainted. His parents had raised him devoutly religious, and ever since right before he reached puberty, his parents drilled into him the importance of saving his virtue until marriage. Already he had broken that promise. And the last thing he wanted, was for Zeke to absentmindedly blurt it out to their father. The goddess only knows what the man would do to Eren if he found out about his sons sin.

“We went out to the Libro ghetto one night for some drinks.” Eren started, careful for what he said. He was underaged and shouldn’t have been drinking, either, but he wasn’t as worried about that. Mother and father allowed him sips of alcohol here and there, they just wanted him to drink in careful and controlled settings. Not to mention Zeke himself was a raging alcoholic. “And I dunno, he bought me a drink and we just sort of hit it off I guess.”  


He wasn’t completely lying, just leaving out details that Zeke didn’t need to know.

“Yeah, un-huh, not buying it.” Zeke said bluntly. “Reiner Braun is a piece of shit. You know this! You were always good about rejecting him! What happened that suddenly changed your mind?”

“I’m telling the truth, big brother!” Eren bit out. He was feeling shameful. Only a few hours ago Eren had sinned and had sex outside of marriage. He was struggling with the guilt and living with himself. Eren pushed Zeke right out of his bed. “Zeke get the fuck out of here and let me sleep! Weather or not I marry Reiner is my business, not yours, now piss off and go get your brains blown out by Yelena like you always do!”

To his amazement, Zeke left without another word, and Eren could let the lingering drugs in his system pull him back to sleep. Blissfully ignorant of what his brother planned to do.

Eren was woken up again by rough hands shaking him awake. He groaned and looked up at Reiner, who had a sullen look upon his face. “Eren.” He was calling out.

“Mn, yeah?” Eren rubbed his eye and yawed as he tried to come back to reality. Reiner pulled him from his laying position to sitting up, startling Eren.

“Eren wake up. I uh, I have something to tell you.” Reiner looked pale and nervous, and Eren wanted him intently, patiently waiting for what he had to say. “Eren, I’m being deployed on a mission. Just me, and it’s a dangerous one too. Undercover in a Marley camp. I’ll be gone for a while. I came to say goodbye.”

Eren was stunned. Already? Why him? Eren was stunned, all he could do was nod dumbfoundedly and say his goodbye’s with Reiner, giving him a deep and loving kiss as he embarked on his mission. 

“Wait, Reiner.” Before Reiner could leave for his deployment, Eren stopped him. He pulled off the pendant of the Goddess Ymir that he wore around his neck and gave it to Reiner. “Ymir is my patron Goddess, she has given me her blessing, and now I want you to have it. I know you’re not religious, but,” Reiner looked like he was about to tear up as he accepted the gift graciously, proudly placing it on his neck. “Stay safe, Reiner.”

“I will carry your blessing with me to he day I die.” Reiner promised, giving Eren a few more quick and loving kisses. “Noting in the heavens and earth can bing me to my grave but you. Only you, Eren. It always has been, and always will be.”

With that, the couple said their goodbyes. Eren could rest easy knowing that Reiner was caring the blessing that was gifted to him. He would come back home safe as the goddess protects him. In the meanwhile, Eren would pray for his safe return everyday.

***

Reiner was gone on a doomed mission all because Zeke was not going to sit back and let the epitome of human garbage wed his precious Eren! It angered Zeke because Eren couldn’t do any worse than Reiner. Well, he takes that back. Eren could do worse than Reiner in the form of Floch Forster. Zeke had already tired to get Floch killed on a doomed mission as well, but like a parasite he just came back, completely unharmed and somehow stupider than before.

He prayed to the Goddesses that Reiner gets his ass blown away and he won’t have to worry about that blond fucks disgusting STD ridden dick in perfect, pure little Eren. The thought of them having sex alone made Zeke want to puke, piss, and shit pure blood.

Yelena seemed to notice his bruiting mood when she stopped riding his cock and called out to him. “War Chief! Hey! Earth to Zeke Jaeger! I can’t ride you if your dick is soft, what’s killing your libido? Did your dad write to you again?”

“Babydoll, you know I throw away letters from that fucker.” Zeke pulled Yelena off him and set her down on his chest. Their lips locked and they snogged for a short while, Zeke’s large hands getting their fill of Yelena’s breasts and ass as she gently teased his groin with her knee. When they broke away Zeke spoke his mind. “It’s my brother, Eren.”

“Of course it is.” Yelena relaxed and ran her hand over his broad chest. “It’s always about darling little Eren. I swear, you and your whole damn family talk of him as if he is the most prized treasure in the world.”

“That’s because he is!” Zeke told her. “Anyways, have you heard the rumors? The ones about how Eren is engaged to Reiner Braun?” Yelena nodded. “Well that pissed me off! Eren can do so so much better than Reiner I-Stick-My-Dick-In-Anything-That-Moves Braun!”

Yelena burst out laughing. She always loved Zeke’s jokes, he’d get her mood up whenever she was down. “You’re right, Braun is probably the epicenter of every STD there is!”

“Exactly!” Zeke said excitedly, no one on this earth ever understood Zeke like either Yelena and Eren. He truly did love the blond woman he lay in bed with, too bad he got married young and in a rush to his childhood crush so he could experience sex sinless and guilt free. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Pieck, she just didn’t get him like Yelena did, and they had been growing distant as of late. “See, you get it!” Zeke pushed Yelena aside and sat up, hunched over. “Braun sucks and he’s only getting married to Eren over my dead body. That’s why I sent him on a doomed mission. I totally sent him out in hopes he gets his ass blown to so many pieces that no one will be able to put him back together again.”

“You cheeky bastard!” Yelena laughed and Zeke chuckled with her. He lit up a cigarette and took a drag. Yelena ran a hand over his back muscles, oh how she adored them. “I want you to leave your wife.”

Zeke glanced back at her. “Ok.” He agreed right away.

“Leave her and marry me.” Yelena ordered.

“Ok.” Zeke was scum. He had a perfectly beautiful wife that was devoted to him and loved him dearly. Yet she was not who Zeke wanted to be anywhere near, it was Yelena. It had been Yelena since the first day they met at boot camp when she whopped his ass in hand-to-hand combat. It was always going to be her, as he was always going to be the one she wanted. 

It wasn’t leaving behind his wife for another woman that truly ate Zeke up, it was how much he had exactly turned into his father. How many times had he mirrored Grisha with the way he’d rather be at Yelena’s side, as he would with the woman Carla? Had Grisha been in the same position as he? Naked in bed with the other woman asking him to leave his wife for her, and agreeing right away. He supposed he couldn’t hate Grisha anymore for his actions, as he was doing the exact same, but he could still hate him for doing what he did while he had a young son with the first woman. That was the real motivating reason Zeke had gotten sterilized so young. He was a bastard who had an affair, but at least he wasn’t about to thrust his divorce on an innocent kid.

“I have you wrapped around my little finger!” Yelena giggled as she pulled Zeke down to lovingly shower him in kisses. “You’ve become your father.”

“No,” Zeke said triumphantly. “I’m better than Grisha. I don’t have kids involved to ruin their lives with my bad decisions. I can sleep easy at night knowing my bad decisions are only ruining my life.”

Yelena laughed and pulled him into more kisses. “Ruin my life and wreck my pussy.”

“Do you even have to ask?”

The two giggled happily as they returned to their love making. Reiner Braun and Eren’s future marriage far from their minds as the indulged in their sinful orgasms.

***

Even with the blessing of the Goddess Ymir and the blessing of Eren, Reiner came back to the barricades, rushed in by the paramedics to Eren and Eren alone, nearly blown to pieces. Eren was shocked to see how badly Reiner had been hurt, but he hand no time to cry over his wounds. His job was to treat, not mourn. 

He would never mourn.

Like clockwork, Eren stopped the bleeding, stitched up his wounds, and kept Reiner from the brink of death. Once Reiner was stable, Eren was covered in blood, but he still refused to leave Reiner’s side. He would spend all his free hour awake at Reiner’s side, holding his hand and praying to the goddess that he would live.

It wasn’t too long that Zeke had noticed Eren and went to confront him. Eren knew he was upset Eren wasn’t hiding that he had fallen pretty hard and fast for Reiner. He also knew Zeke disliked Reiner, and wanted to see him with someone better, but was there really better for him? 

There was Mikasa, who was a wonderful friend but who he felt no romantic or sexual attraction for at all. Armin who was his childhood best friend, and even though the blond had confessed attraction in the past, was shut down by Eren. There was Floch, which just… No. And of course, the plethora of other gross soldiers who would hit on Eren, or make him exceedingly uncomfortable with their gross sexual comments about his body and would even pull out their dicks to masturbate as they watched him. Long story short: Reiner was the best he could do. 

Not like Zeke had much room to speak either, he had just made his affair public and filed for divorce with Pieck. Supposedly now he was going to marry Yelena. It made Eren think about how much Zeke proclaimed to hate their father for his affair from Dina Jaeger with his mother, and how Grisha had divorced Dina to be with Carla. It was almost exactly the same to Eren with the acceptation of two thing. One, Zeke never had any children and expressed no interest in them. He must be dedicated to the condom. Two, there was something else that Zeke and Grisha argued about frequently, but Eren wasn’t sure what it was. Or rather, he used to know but it’s best for him to forget, so he did.

“I know you hate Reiner,” Eren didn’t look up at Zeke, his focus was on Reiner. He would remain by Reiner’s side till the day he died. “But I tell you, he is a good man.”  


“Bullshit!” Zeke screamed out, Eren was worried he was going to wake Reiner up and offend him. “Reiner Braun is a piece of shit, Eren. And you’re so fucking beautiful, you can do so much better than him!”

“Oh really?” Eren sneered. “Like the men who like to masturbate right in front of me when I’m just trying to go about my life? Or how about the creeps who constantly try to rape and molest me? Or goddesses forbid… Floch?”

“Oh goddess no don’t make me think of him more than I have to.” Zeke groaned when he thought of that little parasite Floch. He unreasonably hated him. It was the hair. That hideous hair that was a sexual being repellent. “Ok, ok, fine, I admit, there’s not a lot of options here in the military. So get out of the military! Live a little bit, travel, meet new people and fall in love with someone who is going to treat you good! Because Reiner won’t I promise you that.”

“You don’t know a thing, big brother.”

“Yes, I do Eren.” Zeke sat in a chair next to him and pulled Eren to look up at him. “Eren, if you marry Reiner, you are going to regret it. He is only going to bring you pain and misery. Please, please, for the love of the goddesses please Eren, don’t do this. Don’t settle for Reiner.”

There was a long silence between them. Eren loved and respected his brother, but he didn’t believe a word he said.

“I’m sorry big brother, I can’t honor your wish.” Eren grabbed Zeke’s face in his hands and gave him light and gentle kisses upon his face. “I promise I’m making the right decision. I won’t regret this. You’ll see.”

And with that, Zeke left Eren alone.

Eren did regret is decision. He regretted it every night he spent in Reiner’s prison as his personal sex slave. He should have listened to Zeke, but his head and his heart were clouded with rose tinted glasses and he couldn’t see the error of his ways. And for that, he paid everyday.

Why was he thinking about this now?

Oh that’s right. It’s because he died.

So why.

Why did Eren open his eyes, back in Levi’s apartment suite, with his entire family hovering around him, screaming in a frenzy. The world was silent to him, yet he could recognize the shouting faces of everyone. There was lots of blood over the sheets, too. And in his fathers arms, being placed back into Eren’s, was his newborn daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I enjoyed this one? So, too much Floch slander or not enough? I had so much fun writing it. It's longer than most of mine but IDC, I love it! I hope you all enjoyed it too! :3 <3


	19. Mountains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I can get any darker, yet somehow I just do! Wow, ok. So this is a tough chapter. Enjoy...?
> 
> TW: Hits of past abuse, past kidnapping, hints of past sexual abuse.

The quiet of the night was interrupted by Sasha’s crying, not that it was surprising, she did every night at around the same hour. Eren stirred first and mumbled a tired “You’re turn.” and gently smacked Levi on the chest to get him moving.

Levi groaned and shifted out of bed. “I’m going, I’m going.” He went right over to Sasha’s crib and picked her up, shushing her back into an easy sleep. Right away in his arms, Sasha calmed down. Apparently she just wanted to be held.

Parenting took some getting used to for Levi. Never before has he liked kids or even wanted any, but Sasha was different. She was Eren’s daughter, but most importantly, she was his daughter.

The adoption went smoothly, he and Eren both signed a few papers in front of the king and officially legalized it. Even if the entire time Levi was eating himself up with nervousness thinking about Erwin using his own trick against him to steal Sasha away.

After only three months of being a parent, Levi felt like he had become an entirely new person. He was helping with feeding, changing diapers, up all hours of the night taking turns with Eren whenever Sasha cried. Hell, he was even now best friends with Zeke, who still crashed on their couch with no where to go. What a weird thing domestication has done to Levi.

Speaking of his new bother in law, Levi could hear Zeke fumble around in the kitchen for something. Levi went to go investigate and found Zeke in only his socks and underwear, eating a slice of the chocolate cake Carla made in celebration of Sasha’s birth. The two stared at each other in total silence for a long while. Zeke looked like a kid who had just been caught well, eating dessert when he wasn’t supposed to be.

“Sexy.” Levi finally said in a deadpan voice. “I can’t imagine why your ex wives let you go.”

“Well it was all my fault, can’t keep my dick in my pants.” Zeke went back to eating the cake as if it were nothing. “I’m a cheating bastard, just like Grisha was. Speaking of which, when are they going back home?”

After Sasha was born, Eren’s parents insisted on staying with them to help with the transition, but Levi was having absolutely none of that. Grisha had almost killed Eren with an overdose of sedatives and set them all into a panic that involved a lot of screaming, a lot of unearthed secrets, and most importantly, they had to cut Sasha out. Leaving Eren with some pretty nasty scars over his abdomen.

Amazingly, right after Sasha was born, Eren came back to life again. Healthy as could be, as if nothing ever happened. He declared their baby’s name be Sasha right away, and Levi had no objections to it. Sasha was the perfect name for her.

She looked exactly like Eren too, not a speck of the other man in her. A little tuft of chestnut brown hair on her head, Eren’s cute little nose, and his wide emerald eyes. It was like she was an exact copy of him, and Levi loved her form the minute he met her.

“Hey, Levi!” Zeke called out to him, Levi snapped back to attention, he had just realized he lost himself staring down at his daughter, sleeping in his arms. “Anyways, when are we getting rid of my old man and his wife?”

“I don’t know, when are we getting rid of you?”

“Oh hush up, you like having me around!”

“Not when I have to look at you near naked in my kitchen!”

Zeke laughed and stuffed his mouth with cake. Now if only his mouth would stay closed. Levi shook his head at the man and walked back to the bedroom. Levi laid Sasha back down in her crib and went over the bed. Eren was fast asleep again, and he would bolt right up at the slightest disturbance of the sheets. Levi decided he wanted to let Eren sleep undisturbed for a bit longer, so he want back out. 

Zeke had put away the cake and was now lounging on the couch, beer in hand. “Bit early in the morning for beer, isn’t it?”

“It’s five o’clock somewhere. And right now, five AM counts.” Zeke laughed and took a swig of his beer. “So why aren’t you back in bed?”

“I didn’t want to disturb Eren, he gets so jumpy.” Levi took the liberty of sitting in an armchair and reaching for one of the books on the coffee table. “Has he always been so skittish?”

“Eh, it will come in phases.” Zeke talked about Eren’s deteriorating mental health like it was as common as the weather. “Sometimes, most of the time, he was headstrong and held his own. He’s always been stubborn and determined, but it was so cute to watch him as a little kid be so passionate about what he loved and hated.

“Yet there was always something, ah, a little wrong. It started when he was about nine or ten I think. He would at random have fits of extreme terror and panic, and absolutely nothing in heavens and earth could calm him down. During those moments he’d be delirious, hysterical. Shout nonsense, proclaimed he saw the future and that he was going to die a painful death at a young age. Just, scary stuff for a kid to be saying. 

“Our old man didn’t know what to do aside from tie him down for days on end, so he started Eren on a bunch of medications. Some worked, some didn’t. Some had him in mood swings that changed every five minutes, some made him a zombie. Uncaring and emotionless.”

“As much as I want to say I can’t picture Eren like that, I can.” Levi thought back to their “wedding day” and how eren walked in with Erwin like he wasn’t even there.  


“He seems ok for the most part. Is there a pattern to his dissociation?”

“Hm,” Zeke thought back. “It got better with age, but certain things still triggered it.”

“Like what?”

“Probably Reiner.” Zeke said bluntly. More silence hung between them. Zeke was talking about something meaningless now that he never cared for. Instead he opted to stare out the window. Dark clear night. So peaceful, no wind, no moon.

Levi felt sleep pull at him again, when he glanced over at Zeke, the man was out cold, still sitting up, half empty beer in one hand and jaw slack. How the hell did he trick two women into marrying him. He could see why he was divorced.

Levi was about to grab a pillow to prop under his head and sleep in the chair when a tentative hand graced his. He glanced up and saw Eren looking down at him with a worried expression.

“Darling are you ok?” Eren asked. “You never came back to bed, you have me worried. Did did I--”

“Eren you did nothing wrong.” Levi held Eren’s hand in his and gently kissed his palm. Eren was always so worried that one little mistake was going to drive Levi away. “I just didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”

“Wake me whenever you like.” Eren sat in Levi’s lap and pressed their lips together in a deep and tantalizing kiss. His lips were always so soft and so sweet. Eren quickly broke away. “Do you want…?”

He trailed off as he sluffed off the top of his night robe, exposing olive skin in the darkness to Levi. He was mesmerizing. As much as Levi ached to touch that perfect body, Eren was in no shape for such acts at the moment.

“You’re breathtaking as always.” Levi whispered as he pulled Eren’s robe back on. “But I don’t want to right now.”

Eren gasped and pulled away from him, giving him a terrified expression. “Do you not love me anymore? Do you not find me beautiful? Am I ugly? Do you not want me?”

“Huh?” Levi blinked and shook his head. “No, absolutely not. Eren, you’re the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! You are still healing, I do not want to open sutures and cause another infection.”

Eren was starting to panic, but Levi’s assuring words did bring him some comfort, and he allowed himself to relax and fold right into Levi’s lap.

Levi sighed in relief when Eren calmed down. They were tired, they needed sleep.

“Eren, I’m going to pick you up and bring you back to bed now, ok?”

Eren gave a small nod and Levi picked him up bridal style and carried him back to their large bed. He laid Eren down and curled up right next to him. It wasn’t long he could feel Eren’s arms and legs wrap around him and cling to him as he was pulled back into sleep.

***

Mountains.

Beautiful mountains that span across the woodland areas of Paradise. The mountains weren’t extremely tall or part of a long range, but they were grand in their own rights. It was a mountain village where they were headed.

Father had some patients to visit in the mountain villages in the area and he wanted Eren to accompany him. Eren saw right threw him though, he was training him to be a doctor or a nurse or whatever medic would keep Eren safe on the battlefield when he was deployed to his draft. Not that Eren really cared, what he wanted was to be a soldier, but it would never work. He was built lean and skinny, he’d never make a good soldier. Or at least, that’s what his parents told him.

The sun was high in the sky and beaming down on Eren in a warm blanket that tempted him into sleep. When he laid down on the cart seat though, he earned a quick smack on the hip from his father to rouse him.

“Eren now is not the time to be sleeping.” Grisha scolded him.

“Why?” Eren bit back, pouting a little. He was up late into the night and had to get up early to travel, so he was very tired. “It’s not like we’re actually with your patients yet!”

“Eren don’t talk back.” Eren groaned and slumped forward, trying to stay awake was proving to be a difficult task. Then again, a spanking and a lecture was not something he felt like dealing with.

“So who’re we seeing today anyways?” Eren asked innocently, this made Grisha far more content as he patted his young sons head.

“A lot of times in far out villages like these, they don’t have a local doctor or nurse.” Grisha told him. “And that means they have to travel quite a long way for medical treatment. Even so much as a check-up. That’s what we’re here to do today. Do some check-ups on some locals, make sure everything is ok. If someone needs medical care for something, we’ll look at it, ok?”

“Yeah I guess.” Eren shrugged. “Not like I’ll be doing much anyways.”

“No,” Grisha started. “But I want you to watch. I want you nearby. It will help with your studies here soon.”

“I don’t know if I want to be a doctor.” Eren said, he fell silent when he received another stern glance from his father.

“I want you to be in the medical squad when you are drafted.” He told Eren. “There is no way you are going to be a soldier. Absolutely not. And I am a doctor, why not give you valuable training for when your draft comes.”

Eren sighed and looked away, back at the mountain range. He wasn’t sure if he’d make a good medic or not. He wasn’t exactly smart, like Armin, or skilled like Zeke. Either way, it seemed as if a future as a medic was being thrust upon him, because as of late he would accompany his father when he had medical visits.

The cart came to a stop and Eren immediately jumped down to explore the area. A new pace that was very beautiful, surrounded by mountains and woods, Eren wanted to run around and explore it all day. Yet his childhood fantasies were tosses aside when Grisha grabbed one of his hands and pulled him after him.

There was no use in fighting it or causing a temper tantrum, so Eren just held his fathers hand and followed him to the town square and to the building that was lent to them for the day to visit patents individually. The space was small, and Eren sat on a stool and watched silently the entire time. Truth be told, he was very bored.

At some point, Eren asked to use the toilet, and when he was allowed to, he took his time just being able to stand and breath the fresh air. He was so bored in that stuffy small room. It also didn’t help that all of his fathers patents were fairly healthy blank faces of boring.

On his way back to the small building where he would be forced to spend more hours sitting silently and fighting for his life to stay awake, Eren noticed a wild rabbit. The animal just sat there and watched him for a few moments before bouncing off. Eren thought it was really cute, and that he wanted to pet its fur. Around where the rabbit was, there were some small purple flowers. Eren couldn’t say why, but something about those flowers seemed so familiar yet so distant. Eren decided he wanted to look at them more, and reached out to pick them.

That was when something crashed down on the nape of his neck with an intense pain and he gasped as his world went black.

When Eren came to, his head and neck hurt and he had a hard time concentrating on his surroundings. He wanted to moan in pain, but something about his situation kept him from so much as making a speak.

When his vision came back well enough to look at his surroundings, Eren noticed he was in a near empty and abandoned cabin. He was on the floor with his hands tied behind his back, and there were three large adult men talking quietly amongst themselves off to the side.

“Sick freaks in the capital go for the young and pretty ones.” Eren heard one of them say, it was the first clear thing he heard. “Something like that could go for a fortune.”

“Really? Fortune?” A different man had broken away from the group and strode over to Eren, kicking him harshly in the side and rolling him on his back. Eren’s eyes were half lidded, but he could feel the strangers gaze upon him. “Yeah he’s cute and all, but I wouldn’t go for him myself.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re not selling to you, dipshit!” The first man had said angrily. Eren was clueless as to why he was so angry, as to why the three of them were so upset at all.

Eren knew vaguely about how bad people would hurt others and treat them like property, his parents had told him many horror stories. Stories of gruesome murders, of people being stolen away from family and loved ones to be forced to preform disgusting acts, of people being hurt in unimaginable ways, and what scared Eren the most, of a type of hurting that surrounded adult acts in intimate areas.

He knew about bad people, so why? Why was he targeted and attacked? What was going to happen to him? What were his kidnappers talking about? Would he ever be free or safe again? What was going to happen to his family? Was his father angry at him?

Tears prickled at Eren’s eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He wasn’t about to cry yet, he wasn’t a baby anymore. Even if a young child. Eren sucked on his lip and slurped some iron tasting blood into his mouth. His lip must have split and he didn’t even know it. The man above him noticed he was awake.

“Morning kid,” He knelt down and ran a hand though Eren’s hair forcing his head back so he could look at him better. “How’d you sleep?”

Eren didn’t respond. He didn’t think it was smart to say anything to such scary adults. Thankfully the man above him didn’t press him too much as he soon backed away.

“Tch, whatever.” He stepped away from Eren, leaving him to lay there, on his back and staring blankly at the empty ceiling above him. “As long as you promise he’ll go for a good price.”

Eren wanted to ask what they were talking about, it made no sense to him. He had so many questions that he would probably never get the answer to. In that moment, he regretted being so bored. He would gladly take a hundred spankings for falling asleep during a clinical visit than whatever he was in right now.

“Why?” A quiet voice got the attention of the three men there. “Why are you doing this. I’m just some kid, why me?”

None of them answered his questions, instead they asked him one. “Are you a virgin?”

“What dose that mean?” Eren asked. Virgin? He never heard that word before. None of the men answered his questions.

“He’ll go for a good price.” Back to talking about prices and what Eren will be sold for. His head was swimming, what was going on?

Eren was hoisted up onto one of the mans shoulders and carried out to another wagon where he was dumped. His back hurt from hitting the hard wood, and it was a cold rain out.

The ride to wherever the were heading was a blur. Eren kept dozing off, only to wake up and be lucid for a few moments, only to be out again. It went on for seemingly hours, and his surroundings changed too. Back of a wagon, a dark room, a room that was far too bright and Eren couldn’t see a thing except for the shapes of human heads and shoulders right before him. Then it was back to a dark room, another man talking to one of the three who had taken Eren.

Then there was… No. No. He couldn’t think of that. Not now, not ever. He had sealed it away for a reason, so why, why was it coming back to him now? Everything happened so fast it was terrifying.

The next thing he knew, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, and fell out of bed, sheets wrapped around him. There was the distant screaming of a baby nearby.

Sasha.

He had woken Sasha up.

Who was Sasha? It didn’t matter, he was terrified. He could still feel unwanted hands and gazes and other things on him. Where was he right now? Who was he? Was he the broken adult who couldn’t keep his head on straight, or was he the scared, lost child, stolen away from his parents into a scary place surrounded by scary people? 

He couldn’t say.

All he knew right then, in that moment, was the man above him calling his name. He reached out to touch Eren only for him to scream back at him.

“Don’t touch me!” Eren felt his throat say, yet the words were so foreign on his lips. Who was he talking to? Where was he? Why was he there? Nothing was right, and time blended together.

The only thing he knew for certain, were his cries at the searing hot, visceral pain that threatened to burn off his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, is anyone still here? Every few chapters or so, I find a way to just keep making things worse. I am so, so sorry for this.


	20. Curse of the Blessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I apologize because HOO-BOY this chapter gets dark! I am so SO sorry for how I just keep making things worse.
> 
> So, this is a lot. I mean, a lot. And there's a lot of TW's I can add, but to be honest, I don't want to because it will spoil the sheer sock value of the chapter. Please, let me know what you think of this IF you want to. 
> 
> TW: Implied/referenced part abuse, implied/referenced sexual assault, religious trauma. Dark family secrets reviled, I really don't want to spoil this, so just be careful going in.

It was a bright morning, and the sun shone through the windows. Carla was making a breakfast, while Zeke, Grisha, and Levi sat around in a mostly awkward silence.

Eren sat away from them. He sat in a chair by the window, staring out at the scenery, Sasha nestled in his arms. Eren hadn’t spoken a word, or even looked at anyone all morning.

In the middle of the night, Levi awoke to him screaming like he was dying and he fell out of bed. When Levi tried to calm him down, he screamed for him not to touch him. Levi was at a complete loss of what to do, or how to help Eren. He didn’t know, and Zeke was none the wiser. So he figured that touching Eren was not the thing to do. He grabbed baby Sasha and comforted her as he stayed a distance away from Eren and watched him cry himself to sleep on the floor.

When Eren did get up, he cared for Sasha but didn’t speak a word or go near anyone else. Zeke and Levi had to inform his parents of that when they came over for breakfast.

“Breakfast is ready.” Carla prepared and handed plates to everyone, but Eren paid no attention to her. Even when the woman would approach her son and talk to him, he never so much as acknowledged her exitance. She gave up quickly and everyone but Eren sat at the table to eat their breakfast.

There was an uncomfortable silence that hung between them, there only being clanks of silverware on dishes and the like. The silence alone was deafening, even Sasha made no noises.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity in hell, Carla got too uncomfortable and went over to Eren. She touched his shoulder, which was a big mistake as it only caused him to jump away from her in temporary panic.

“Eren, love, what’s wrong?” Carla pleaded. “You’re not acting like yourself!”

“What the hell am I ‘supposed’ to act like?” Eren growled back, his long hair shielding his face and hiding his glare. “What is ‘normal’? What is ‘myself’? Who even am I?”

Cara was stumbling over what to say next when Eren looked up fully at them. A far out, but wild look in his eyes as his gaze penetrated their souls.

“What happened in the mountains?” His voice was but a whisper.

“What?” Carla asked quietly, her mind stumbling to figure out what he was talking about. “What do you mean? What mountains?”

“The mountain village I accompanied Father to when I was about nine or ten!” Eren had gotten up from his seat and faced them now, Sasha had sensed his distress and started crying. Eren focused his attention on calming her down. “Just tell me what happened? I can’t remember a whole lot, but it’s coming back in pieces.”

Carla threw a worried glance to her husband, who just kept his head down and said nothing. Eren looked between them but soon grew impatient, yet he never spoke a word. Instead he strode over to Levi and placed Sasha into his arms. Levi was going to question him, but Eren had grabbed his coat and walked out the door before he could say anything.

Levi expected him to roam around the castle for a bit, as he would sometimes do when he was stir crazy. He preferred to be alone during those times, and Levi let him be. Welcoming him home when he returned, which was usually no more than a few hours.

Around the castle, Eren did not go. He left the palace and walked into town. It was convenient that the royal palace was in the center of the capital city, so they could walk to and fro in a matter of only minutes.

Eren wandered around town, he was trembling under his coat, constant shivers up his spine as he felt like all the eyes in the world were on him. Watching him. Stalking him. Waiting for an opportunity to pounce.

Phantom hands would ghost his skin and nearly make him fall over in pain. Even nonexistent touches his mind created were so painful. It wasn’t just the feeling of the unwanted eyes and touches, there was also something else. Something creeping into his vision.

Sometimes, it was a blur as it darted fast at his side, spooking him. Other times, he would see dark figures in front of him, eying him. They would follow him wherever he went. 

It was probably just his mind playing tricks on him, but every now and then Eren saw people too. Reiner always looming above him when Eren was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be. Erwin around every corner, waiting to take him prisoner again. The Marlayean soldier form the Libro ghetto would corner him in the halls and threaten to kill innocent lives if he did not obey. The MP who caught him in the woods and passed around through the military, would surrounded him and whisper in his ear _Emerald._ And other people he couldn’t recognize completely would follow him around, making their presence known.

Levi had caught him screaming at them one night, Eren was convinced he was going to be sent back to the Asylum, where Reiner would sometimes stick him when he went through his episodes. Usually, he had preferred to beat him into submission, but there were a few times where Eren tried to end his life, and the thought of Eren escaping into death angered Reiner beyond all belief.

At first, Eren had thought of it as an escape. Once Reiner had left and Eren was alone with the doctors and nurses, he begged them for their help, recounting all the stories of Reiner’s abuse and how much he had been hurt and was scared. They only ever thought he was crazy, and they treated him with sedation.

And sedation left him vulnerable and unable to fight back any potential attackers. He would be awake, but in a foggy state and hardly able to move when the evils of the darkness wrapped around his body, forcing their way into him and all around him. Enveloping him, engulfing him, drowning him whole.

A gentle hand that only just barely graced his shoulder made Eren yelp out and jump back, looking at the offenced in a crazed stare. It was a member of the Military Police. No, not just any MP. Nile Dok, the commander of the Military Police.

“Commander Dok.” Eren was sweating as neverending chills crawled up his spine. “What ah, what brings you here today?”

“Work. I work here.” Nile sounded almost annoyed, as he gestured to where they were. The Military Police headquarters that were outside of the palace. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“I need to look at something.” Eren’s intentions came back to mind as he looked up at Nile and straightened up a bit. He tried to look confidant and assertive, but he knew he just looked like a wreck. “I have something I need, and I came here to find it.”

“Something you need, huh?” Nile asked almost condescending. “What is it?”

“Records.” Eren answered. “I need to see some records. Files. Old news reports.”

“Why?”

Eren didn’t want to explain himself, it was none of Nile’s business. “I want to see the records from the year 884. Preferably any news that came from a mountain village near Shiganshina.”

Nile gave him a strange look, as he had no idea what he was thinking. “No.”

“Why not? These records are open to the public.” Eren hissed, he needed to know, damnit.

“What exactly are you looking for?”

“None of your business, now please, just let me look at the records!” Eren’s voice raised loud enough to alert some pedestrians and earn some strange stares. Nile looked around defeated and sighed.

“Very well, come with me.” Nile led Eren inside the building and over to the records library. “Ask the librarian, they know how everything is organized and where it all is.”

“Thank you.” Eren smiled and went over to the librarian to ask just that, it wasn’t long when he was directed to the area that possibly housed the secrets he’d been looking for.

He grabbed around at the preserved newspapers and articles, looked at old tabloids, paged though record books. He spent hours searching, but wasn’t finding much of anything.

Eren had no idea what he was thinking combing through the Military Polices old records as if he had any chance of finding out his past. He had all but given up, when a loose paper fell to the floor. Eren glanced down. He had thought he scanned through everything but that page looked unfamiliar, so he picked it up and scanned it over.

Then read it again. And again. And again. Again Again.

Now frantic, Eren searched around to where the clues lead him. Several aisles down were two books, one fat old and dusty and the other thin but also covered in dust. In there were the missing peaces. The news article, the two books, this was what told him the truth.

And somehow, the truth was so much worse than he expected.

***

Carla had broken down into sobs, a complete mess when Eren left so abruptly. They didn’t know what to expect, and it sounded like he brought up a topic that they outright refused to think about. Grisha was also besides himself with worry.

Levi did his best to calm their nerves, to try and get them to relax. He told them Eren did this often and that he was just roaming the castle and would be back in a about an hour or two.

Then two hours passed. Then three. Four.

“We have to go looking for him!” Carla insisted. “What if--!”

She cut herself off and shook her head, pacing around the apartment. She was in complete distress and nothing her husband or Levi would say could calm her.  


Levi didn’t deny that he was feeling anxious as well. Had Eren left the castle? If so, where did he go? Did Erwin find him and snatch him away? Just thinking about that made Levi’s heart beat so loud he could hear it.

Maybe Carla was right, maybe they should go looking for Eren.

Levi decided if there was anyone who would be able to protect Eren or even calm him down, it was him. Sasha was currently fast asleep in Zeke’s arms, and as much as it worried Levi how drunk the man was and if he was going to drop her or forget her somewhere, the man was steady and reliable for the moment.

Levi got up and grabbed his coat, heading to the door, the threw it open and almost fell over. Eren was on the other side and jumped back at the sudden harshness of the swing.

“Oh Goddesses, Eren!” Levi almost laughed, he went to embrace Eren, but stopped when he noticed how jumpy he was. “I’m so thankful you’re ok. We were really worried about you.”

“I’m fine, Levi.” There was a somber seriousness in his voice that gave Levi chills. He waked right past him and into the apartment. That was when Levi had noticed what he was carrying.

“Eren!” Carla ran over to do what Levi had wanted, but she also stopped when she noticed the seriousness of is stern expression. “Sweetie what’s wrong.”

“This.” Eren answered cooly as he dropped a couple books and an old news paper down onto the kitchen table. “You know what this is?”

Carla and Grisha looked mortified, Zeke watching from the side also seemed to be on edge.

“This,” Eren stated. “Is an old news article from 844, the year I was kidnapped when I went with Father to look at patients in a mountain village. Young son of a Shiganshina doctor disappeared, a search party was sent out. Soon after, evidence of a breaking in a nearby cabin with bloodstains and a scarf that belonged to the boy ruled the disappearance as a kidnapping.”

The entire room was encased in an excruciating silence as Eren sat at the kitchen table and casually flipped through the old newspaper.

“Turns out, and here’s the real shocking part,” Eren bitterly laughed. “The Cult of the One True Goddess had ordered that a human being who looked like this be brought to them.” 

Eren held up the newspaper page. A picture took up the entire page. It was a beautiful sketch of a beautiful person. Not just any person: Eren. It was so obviously him, fluffy silky hair with bags that graced over enormous shining eyes. Perfectly sculpted face, cheekbones, nose. It was unmistakably a beautiful piece of art of Eren.

“Look familiar?” Eren asked darkly. “Supposedly the cult, which was an off branch of the Church of Ymir, our church, had declared that the human in this picture was a blessing to the Subjects of Ymir from the goddess herself. Gifted with eternal beauty and the most luxurious of bodies, the Cult was eager to get their hands on this _gift_. Anyone who can get ahold of this blessing, will in turn also be blessed, as it could be shared to all Subjects of Ymir.

“And one day, the cult found it. Human traffickers had stolen a child who fit the description of the Cult’s Gift to a tee. The Cult was ecstatic as they could now share their precious Gift with all the members of their church.”

Eren finished sharing his findings, and the tense silence was back. Grisha nad Carla looked like they were about to die on the spot, Zeke didn't seem phased at all, more curious to what his family were going to do,

Levi, on the other hand, was shaken to his core. He remembered hearing about that cult and their weird obsession with someone who was supposed to be the pinnacle of the ethereal. He remembered hearing about how the cult was busted and collapsed soon after, but he never got the details. Now, laying in two old books that surrounded the cult and their “Gift” with an old newspaper article about a kidnapped child that corresponded with when the cult had gotten extremely active before being disbanded.

This was surreal. And Eren looked _pissed._

“So were you ever going to tell me anything?” Eren asked.

“No.” Grisha was the first to speak. He finally decided to sit down at the table and reached for Eren’s hands. To his surprise, Eren let his him. “The Cult ring was busted by an undercover MP, and they returned you home to us. When you came back, you weren’t there. Not a speak of your old, fiery personality remained. It was like you were dead. Never spoke, barely moved around, barely ate, noting. The worst part was the look in your eyes. Spaced out and lifeless. My son had been returned to me dead that day.

“I can’t fathom the unspeakable horrors you endured, but they ate at you. Most of the time, you were numb and lifeless. At night you would scream and cry, thrash around and hurt yourself. We didn’t know what to do. Nothing worked and nothing helped you.

“Finally, some experimental drugs came onto the market. Drugs that were supposed to cause severe hallucinations and delusions, and memory loss. It was selfish, oh Goddess Ymir forgive us it was selfish, but when we gave it to you, you sprang back to life.

“Within a years time, Eren had been brought back to us and back to life. You were your old, fiery, snarky, happy self again. Granted, it took an expensive supply of strong medications and dealing with some side effects, but you were back. And that was all that mattered. The best part was that, when we would wean you off the drugs, the side effects became less and less, but the memories never came back and you were still yourself. It got so good, to the point where when you went off on your draft, I gave you the meds, but you reported back that you hardly took any.

“Of course, you being sent away during war was frightening. Away from home with strangers surrounding you. We prayed everyday that you would never be attacked again. And then you returned home and announced your engagement to Braun. He seemed like a nice man on the outside, and we were so relieved that you found a good husband to always protect and love you. Of course, we were wrong, and we didn’t find out until Reiner had arrived at our door, screaming and demanding help. When when went to your house, the sight of you unconscious on the snowy porch surrounded by blood and amniotic fluid was the thing of nightmares. That was when we suspected Reiner’s cruelty. It was only made worse when he pulled a gun on you and forced you back into bed after that whole ordeal.”

As Grisha recounted his story, Carla couldn't take it, and Zeke held her close and let her women sob into his shoulder. Eren was also whimpering, practically laying in Grisha’s lap. Levi meanwhile was hurling into the kitchen sink. Just the thought of everything his beloved had endured made him sick to his stomach. And to make it worse, Eren’s parents didn’t even know what Eren suffered at the hands of Erwin and his crew. There was probably more they were still ignorant of.

“Do you understand why now?” Grisha pleaded with Eren. “Why we kept it all a secret, hidden away. Why we wanted to keep you from the truth. The memories were too painful to bear for you before, and when you had recovered after they were repressed, you were happy again. We just want you to be happy. Please believe that.”

“Yes, Father,” Eren whimpered and sniveled, allowing Grisha to wipe his face with a napkin. “M’srorry. Sorry I ever doubted you, ever rebelled, broke away from you that day in the mountains.”

“Shh,” Grisha hushed and brushed some of the long strands of hair that were stuck to his face aside. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. Please believe that.”

Eren began to relax, slowly. He was tired. Exhausted. All the new information that had been thrust upon him at once was a lot to take in, and he was clearly struggling to cope.

When all had quieted down, the sound of Levi gagging into the sink alerted him, and right away Eren sprang up and rushed to his husbands aid.

“Darling, are you alright?” Eren asked in a panic as he felt Levi’s forehead. He grabbed a rag and got it wet with cold water, carefully placing it to Levi’s face. “Levi? Love, are you ok?”

Levi reached up and held Eren's hand where he was trying to cool Levi’s face. Eren looked surprised when he did this, and pulled the cloth away, using it to wash up Eren’s tear-stained cheeks.

“You ask if I’m ok yet you’ve endured hell on earth.” Levi sighed. “What did a runt like me ever do to deserve an angel like you.”

Eren giggled cutely. “Guess I’m just worried about my beloved.”

“I could say the same.”

The air was still and warm between them, Eren’s tear soaked face was tinting pink as he couldn’t suppress the smile paying on his lips.

“I love you.” Eren breathed out.

“I love you too.” Eren was the one to initiate the kiss, he locked his lips in deep and passionate expression.

The mood had lightened up. Sasha was awake again and crying in her crib, asking for Eren to come to her rescue, and he did.

Levi smiled after him. What a changed man he had become. Only nine ten months prior, he had been a selfish, cruse, crass, little weevil. Now he was happily married to the most wonderful person he;d ever met in his life, and they had a beautiful baby girl together. He only hoped he would change for the better as he grew with Eren.

Levi was lost in thought smiling as he watched Eren care for Sasha when Grisha approached him, pulling him off to the side.

“Levi,” The man started. “I can’t thank you enough for being so good to Eren. I see it in his eyes. Reiner had drained life from him, you’re giving it back. The way he dotes on and adores you tells me that you’re good to him.”

“Well I try to be.” Levi said, not exactly sure if he really was good for Eren, as when they first met he was obsessed with his body and looks. Selfish reasons that the cult had taken advantage of him for. “I’ll admit, my first intentions for him were, impure.”

He glanced at Eren, who met his gaze and gave him a shy smile, pink tinging his face.

“I love him.” Levi felt his own face heat up. “I love him so much. I lusted after him at first, now I just love him. He has given me everything shown me a kind of life I never imagined.”

Levi looked up at his father in law. The man had a tired but warm expression. Something that said: “I know, but I forgive you because you’ve changed and you’re what my child needs.”

“What’re you two talking about?” Eren asked in that cute half seductive half innocent voice that always brought a smile to Levi’s face.

“You.” He answered, and Eren giggled.

“Liar.” Eren couldn't hide his smile.

“It’s true!” Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist and pulled him close. Eren laid his head on his shoulder. Baby Sasha between them, and Eren’s parents and brother close by.

Was this what love was?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so that was a roller coaster. To whoever's left, I hope you enjoyed. Hey, at least this chapter dose have a pretty sweet ending! We all need a bit of levity. Even me, who loves pure angsts.
> 
> Uh, if you're pissed or super sad and want to read something a bit lighter, might I direct you (self advertise) to my other fic that I am working on Trip of a Lifetime. Eren/Levi smut and not nearly as depressing! 
> 
> I mean, I wish y'all the best. If you enjoyed, I'm really happy. If not, whatever. Either way I am finishing this fic! I will not let it die! Love y'all, have a great night! <3


	21. Veil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I'm honestly scared of just how dark I can get. For all two of you left reading this, you know the drill.
> 
> TW: References of past abuse, abuse, kidnapping, rape.

As much as they wanted, Levi couldn’t stay home with Eren and Sasha forever, he had to return to work eventually. Once Sasha was twelve weeks old, Levi went back to work and left Eren and Sasha behind.

Things were begging to look up for all of them. Levi was working and making great money, Eren would stay home with Sasha, and when she was old enough, talked about going back to work as well. The rest of the Jaeger family had long since left. Now that his parents knew that Eren and Sasha were safe, the traveled back home. And Zeke received a letter from his second ex wife asking to meet up with her. They haven’t seen Zeke since.

Now that it was just the three of them, every second they could they were together. The would stay at home and lay in bed all day, or they would travel out and Levi would take Eren to the fancy restaurants in the capitol city.

The only thing that had ever bothered Levi was that Eren had gotten into a habit of covering his face when he ventured outside. He would shroud his beauty using a mask, several veils, scarfs, and sometimes his hood. 

Eren started off wearing a thin veil that covered the lower half of his face. And he looked radiant in it, black fabric flowing in the wind and the thin material teasing what lay beneath, while shining eyes, velvet skin, and long silky hair were still were visible. One day Levi made a comment about how no fabric could ever hide his beauty, and that terrified him. 

The coverings progressed. Soon there was a second vail draping over his head that would lay just down around his face around his cheekbones, covering his eyes with more lace. Then an opaque face mask was added underneath. A scarf around his neck. Another, thicker mourning veil draped over his head that went down to his soldiers, covered by his coat with a hood.

He looked like he was in mourning, a black veiled bride. A _widow_. Face completely covered, forbidding anyone and everyone. The only thing that you could get a glimpse of was his long hair and the shape of his jaw and nose. And if one looked very close and hard, fluttering eyes underneath the expensive material.

And Levi hated it.

He understood the reasoning as to why. His face attracted unwanted attention, terrified him. Not to mention, there were whisperings of cult activity in the area, quickly spreading though the capitol. Eren had no proof if the cult was the one that was after him or not, either way, they would never see his face if he would help it.

Still, Levi loved Eren’s face, how could he not? He had put up with Eren continually adding and layering his face coverings. He would put up with being in public while Eren wore layers upon layers making them stand out in an unflattering way. He would even put up with Eren beginning to refused to wear clothing that accentuated his shape, preferring to be in ugly baggy shirts and pants instead of the elegant gowns that brought out his hourglass waist. What he wouldn't put up with was when he returned home from work one day to find Eren wearing the longer outer veil that shrouded his whole face.

“Levi,” Eren greeted him when he walked though the door. Levi could vaguely make out his face underneath the black lace, but he wanted to see his husbands face clearly. “How was your day?”

“Take that thing _off!”_ Rage laced Levi’s voice as he ripped the veil from off Eren’s head, startling him. “I put up with this damn thing in public because it makes you feel safe, I don’t want to come home to be greeted by it!”

The anger in Levi’s voice was scaring Eren, he was shaking, tears starting to well up in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I promise. I just like wearing it! It makes me feel safe.”

“Don’t I make you feel safe?” Levi barked back, he was in such a rage from his own selfish reasons he wasn’t paying much attention Eren’s reactions. “I’m going to set this thing on fire.”

“Please, no--” Eren begged, he ran around Levi and tightly hugged him, he wanted to appease him, make him happy. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

“Then don’t wear this shit in our home!” Levi sighed heavily. “You’re safe here. Very safe. Do you not realize that?”

Eren couldn’t speak, little whimpers he was trying to bite back were all the noise he made. Fed up, Levi ripped the veil in half a few times, dumping the shredded pieces. Eren sadly watched as something that brought him comfort and safety ruined something else that gave him comfort and safety.

“I know you’re scared,” Levi’s voice was softer as he thumbed Eren’s cheek. “But you’re safe. I promise you, as long as I am alive, no one will ever hurt you again, ever rape you again, nothing else will ever happen. I promise.”

Eren still was sad, and had a terrible fright from Levi’s sudden anger, but he nodded along. Levi had been good to him and Sasha, and they loved each other very much. Eren was also a difficult person going through a phase that needed to be stopped. He could understand Levi’s frustration. Nevertheless, he never stopped trembling the whole night.

Later that night in bed, when Sasha was laid down in her crib, Levi was reading a book in bed as he sipped some wine. Eren lay next to him and watched him carefully.

Slowly, Eren rolled onto his side to face Levi. Then he scooched cloer. Snaked a hand around Levi’s waist. Kissed at his neck. Let a hand brush over his groin--

“What are you doing?” Levi snapped and gave Eren a stern expression.

“I I I thought that that you wanted some, um,” Eren was fumbling over his words in his nervousness. “That you wanted some release. That you wanted,”

Eren trailed off and pulled off his nightclothes, tossing them aside before crawling onto Levi’s lap. Face nestled in his husbands broad shoulder.

“Honestly,” Levi could feel his cock pulsing in his pants, but he still shoved Eren over anyways. “You still need time to heal. Six months. Six months until it’s safe to have sex again.”

“I could still suck you.” Eren offered. “Or I could use my hands. Or pose for you in any way while you get off. Anything you wish.”

“I wish for you to just go to sleep!” Levi barked back. He was beyond frustrated. Sure, he was pent up and craving sex with Eren. Between everything that had been revealed with his family, and his fear of being hurt, and his skittish nature that night sex was probably the last thing he needed right then. And Levi wasn’t going to exacerbate it. He slammed his book shut and threw it on the floor somewhere. “I’m going to sleep. Good night.”

As Levi blew out the candles, he was completely ignorant to the sobs Eren was chewing his hand until it bled to hold back.

***

Levi would be home soon. He would be home, and Eren would be everything he ever wanted. After how harsh Levi was last night, Eren was determined to make it up to him. He never slept, only thought about how to fix the situation. And he knew how.

He bathed, washed and brushed his hair, and even put on a little makeup. Not something he’s done in a very long time, but a little eye makeup, foundation, and lipstick never hurt anyone. Eren was determined to show Levi how beautiful he was. How deserving of love he was.

Eren had pulled out a beautiful long and flowing gown Levi had bought him as a present, but he had yet to wear as it was so shapely. It looked black at first sight, but in the right light it shown an elegant iridescent green. Getting into it was also a struggle on account of how much weight he was gaining as of late. He pulled at the stings of the corset until he could barely breath, trying to be as beautiful as possible for Levi. 

He was going to make up for last night. And then Levi would forgive him, and go back to the wonderful and loving husband he knew him to be. He would be worthy of Levi’s love again soon. Eren couldn't wait for Levi to come home, to see him as he was and completely melt. He couldn’t wait to make love to him again, to show him how truly devoted he was. He couldn’t--

The front door to the apartment opened and Eren jumped up. Excitedly, he ran over to the door to greet Levi. “Levi! You’re home early! I did something for you--”  


His words died on his lips.

It wasn’t Levi standing in the doorframe. It was Erwin Smith.

“Eren,” Erwin started. “It’s been a while. How are you? You’re looking well.”

Eren was petrified in fear. Oh Goddesses, he hadn’t seen Erwin in months. He had completely forgotten about him. Seeing him was terrifying, he felt sickly just looking at him. And he knew what was coming next, he only prayed to the goddesses that Erwin would get his sick fill in soon and leave him to die alone.

“Eren,” Erwin stepped forward. “You are so damn beautiful. Look at you, elegant green dress, makeup, hair all smoothed out and pretty. Levi sure is a lucky man to have you.”

“Just get it over with.” Eren breathed out. “Please, just rape me and be done with it. Do it and go.”

“Well you’re certainly in a hurry to get this show on the road.” Erwin chuckled. “Not quite yet. I actually have a little present I want you to see first.”

Erwin stepped off to the side and directly behind him stood no other than Karina Braun. She had a smug look on her face and she walked in and locked the door behind her.

“What a slut you are.” She remarked. “So, Commander Smith here tells me that you’ve kept a dirty little secret from me.”

“No.” Eren looked between them and ultimately up at Erwin. “Do whatever you want to me but leave my child out of this.”

“Where are they?” Karina asked in a silky sweet voice. “Where is my grand baby?”

“You will not get your hands on her.” Eren warned. “She is no longer legally Reiner’s child. My husband Levi adopted her.”

“I have a granddaughter? How sweet.” Karina let herself in and searched around for Sasha’s nursery.

“No!” Eren tried to bolt after her, but Erwin grabbed his arm in a forceful grip and held him in one spot. That didn’t keep him from thrashing around and screaming. “Don’t you dare touch my baby you bitch! You have no rights to her!”

Karina soon walked out with baby Sash in her arms. With all the commotion, Sasha had woken up and started screaming. Eren lunged for her, trying to grab her, but Erwin and Karina held them both out of arms reach.

“Give me back my daughter you motherfucking bitch!” Eren was kicking now, doing everything he could to break from Erwin’s grip, and the man was struggling to hold him down. “Get your filthy hands off Sasha!”

“Sasha? Is that her name?” Karina asked and looked down at her. “Hm, I hate it. She should have a family name. Oh! I know! Karina! How cute is that?”

 _”NO!”_ Eren screamed, and Sasha was now crying even harder, despite Karina’s attempts to rock her back to sleep.

“Little Karina Junior, how sweet she’s named after Grandma!” Karina cooed. “Thank you so much, Commander Smith. Without you I would never never met my beautiful granddaughter.”

“You’re very welcome, Lady Karina--”

“Karina you fucking bitch, I will kill you!” Karina gave Eren a harsh look as he screamed at her.

“May I, Commander Smith?”

“But of course,” Karina smiled at the go-ahead and grabbed a fistful of Eren’s long hair, dragging him to the ground, where Erwin used his large boot to hold him down.

“You little Succubus devil!” The horrid woman hissed as she brought her down boot to stomp down on Eren’s head. “I’ve hated you from the moment I saw your pretty little face. A thing like you has the whole world ensnared. Well you deserve everything you get! I hope you get torn limb from limb as you’re fucked to death.”

Eren couldn’t cry or bother to be hurt by her words. Right now, she had his baby and he would not let her get away with it. So for once in his life, Eren spoke his mind as his eyes shot daggers into Karina’s soul.

“You know Karina, I’ve always tried not to hate you.” Eren panted. “You make that so hard. You were mean, you were always trying to hurt me, I don’t know a single good thing about you and I’m convinced there isn’t one. I hate you just as much as you hate me, but I forgive you.”

There was a change in the air. Karina had flinched and her composure broken. Even Erwin seemed at loss.

“I forgive you. I forgive you for all the hell you’ve put me though in five years I’ve known you. I don’t care. I can still dislike you, but I forgive you. You hate me because I stole your son. Well I never meant to, and I never waned to marry Reiner either. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I do not wish the fate I suffered in my short life upon anyone, not even you. So please.” Eren looked up at Karina with pleading eyes. “Please. Give me my daughter back, and I promise you will stay in her life. Do not do this. One last time, I ask of you not as you ex in-law, but as family. Please, just let me have my baby.”

There was a tense silence between them, and Eren could tell in Karina’s facial expression that she was starting to crack. Or at least he thought. Instead she just laughed, bellowed at the top of her lungs.

“Oh my fucking goddesses!” She laughed. “You forgive me? Oh what a joke! What an absolute riot! Ah, well you know what, pretty little whore? I don’t forgive you. I hope you rot to death soaked in cum and shame like you deserve. I hope you’re rapped so badly your insides will never be able to heal! I hope a lot of things, and most of them, are ways you can suffer.

“I will admit, though, you were good at one thing. And that was being a cum slut for Reiner and a breeder bitch for my baby granddaughter, Karina!

“I’m going to take my leave now, Karina wants to go home to her family. Her real family. Thank you again Commander Smith. It was an honor that you helped me unite with my granddaughter.”

“You know it was my pleasure, Lady Karina.”

And with that, Karina left, taking Sasha with her along with Eren’s heart.

Now it was just Eren, soul shattered once again and Erwin still holding onto him. He couldn't even find the energy to cry anymore, there was no point. There was no reason to go on living anymore.

It was mere seconds after Karina was gone that Eren’s stockings and underwear were torn apart, and a cock shoved into his backside with a painful force. There was no point in kicking, screaming, crying, fighting, anything.

Erwin grunted above him, mumbling something about his beauty, but Eren couldn't find it in himself to care. Sasha was gone. Stolen away to probably never be seen again. Eren couldn’t find any effort to care about the searing pain that tore in his backside when his heart hurt so much.

Dizzy. Swirling. That was what Eren’s world was in that moment. He almost giggled, as it felt like he was drunk. Was he dying? He didn’t care anymore. Levi was angry with him, Sasha was gone, and Erwin was inside him.

Erwin came and Eren squeaked when the fmaillar feeling of cum filled his gut. Even though he wasn’t moving, Erwin held him down, forced him to stay on his back. He never even removed his limp cock.

“Conceive, please,” Eren heard Erwin whisper above him in prayer. “Goddesses please, let us conceive.”

Eren said his own prayers. Prayers that Sasha, wherever she would end up, would live a very long and happy life. Prayers that Levi wouldn’t mourn him too much, and that he would move on fast to find the next pretty little thing, Prayers that Erwin was baron. Prayers that Karina ran in front of a fucking carriage. Prayers his parents and brother would let him go and forget about him. Prayers for all his of his friends and family to move on with their lives as if Eren never existed. Oh how happy everyone would be if that were the case.

Before Eren slipped away into unconsciousness, he felt Erwin pick him up bridal style, no doubt in hopes that semen would stay and fertilize.  


Eren felt like he was floating, spinning, in a calm bliss as unconsciousness veiled his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, there is probably no one left reading this. Which is sad, I really hoped this would be enjoyed but man, I get so fucking dark... I'm so sorry to y'all for putting up with me, but hey, at least I'm good about posting damn intense fanfic.


	22. Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, at this point I might as well embrace the dark shit that I'm good at bringing. So here's dark shit!
> 
> TW: Abuse, past child abuse, implied/referenced past child rape, cult activity.

Work was hellish all day, Levi was replaying the previous nights events in his head. Shit, he had been to forceful with Eren. He shouldn’t have gotten angry with him over something so simple, shouldn’t have been so mean when talking to him, so cruel when rejecting sex.

Levi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, he couldn’t focus on work, all he could focus on was how Eren was feeling right then.

“Hey runt,” Levi glanced up at Kenny when the man called to him. “You’re distracted. What’s on your mind.”

“Eren and I got into a fight last night.” Levi didn’t feel like dancing around the topic. Not that Kenny would be mulch help, but he could at least know what was going on. “It was stupid. Over something so trivial, but I really hurt him. He was so sad, and I guess I’m just filled with regret.”

“Then you should go talk to him.” Levi looked up at Kenny when he spoke. “Just go home a bit early, talk to him, and everything will be fine.”

“You’re letting me leave work early?”

“Go before I change my mind, runt.”

Levi didn’t need to be told twice, got up, thanked his uncle and walked out. He was going to head right up, but he needed to make it up to Eren somehow. So instead of heading right home, very early on a work day, he ventured into town to pick up an apology present for Eren.

Flowers, for sure, but that wasn’t enough. He needed something else. Chocolate? No, Eren wasn’t much of fan of food to begin with, and it was hard to get him to eat most days. He wouldn’t want something to eat.

Wine or liquor? He wasn’t much of a drinker either, and had even begged Levi to reduce his drinking when they were married. Levi did per his request, but he still needed some here and there. It made sense why he didn’t like alcohol, as he was informed that Eren’s first marriage was plagued with alcohol abuse.

Deciding what else to get and being completely stumped, Levi passed by a jewelry store. It caught his eye immediately. The centerpiece behind the glass was an enormous emerald necklace. The gem was half the size of his hand, and the bright green reminded Levi of Eren’s emerald eyes. He had to get it. It was a small fortune, but it was very worth it. The necklace would be so beautiful on Eren.

Finally with everything he needed, Levi rushed back to the palace and back home to his suite. He threw open the door, expected to be greeted by his magnificent Eren holding their baby girl.

No one was there.

The apartment was completely empty. No Eren, and no Sasha. Levi walked around and called out to them, but he got no answers.

Levi was trying not to panic, but when he looked around, the layers Eren wore anytime he ventured out the front door were still there, laying in a pile. Maybe he dumped them so he could make Levi happy, right?

No Eren, no Sasha. He was so hard on Eren the previous night, he was beginning to think that Eren had ran away and left him. Levi decided he would not hunt Eren down if chose to leave him, that was something Erwin would do.

That was when he noticed it. Off to the side and kicked away, where some of Eren’s stockings and underwear, but they were incomplete and ripped up to shreds. What? Why? 

Maybe it was a fluke, maybe Eren had accidentally ripped them in a haste or something. Either way, a crushing sadness enveloped Levi as he thought about how Eren had left him.

It didn’t seem right, lately, Eren was doing absolutely everything he could to appease him. To be an obedient housewife. Maybe their argument the previous night caused him to snap. Who’s to say.

Levi didn’t feel good just sitting in his empty apartment when he should have been working, but was granted time off for his family. His family were gone, might as well return to work.

It wasn’t long before Kenny was looking up at them from their shared desk in shock and confusion.

“What the hell happened?” He asked. “I gave you time off to work it out with Eren, why aren’t you?”

“Eren left me.”

Kenny fell silent, he didn’t want to press it. “Ah shit, Levi, m’sorry bout that.”

“It was all my fault.” At Levi’s words, Kenny stood up and crossed over to him, patting his back. He didn’t know what else to say or how to help.

Their somber silence was quickly broken, though, as Uri ran into the office screaming their names. When the two men looked over at him they were shocked, Kenny instantly enraged.

Uri looked horrible, like he was just in a fight and got his ass kicked, bad. His lip was split, nose was bleeding, he was sprouting a black eye, and there were dark handprints around his neck.

Kenny flew into a rage onsite and rushed to his side, pulling him in a tight hug. “Who did this? Who was the fucker that did this!”

“I’m fine, I’m fine! Really Kenny, I’m ok!” Uri seemed to be in a great mood for someone who was just pulverized. His bloody nose made him pronounce some syllables with a B sound. “I prombis! This is good!”

“I’m going to kill whoever did this to you, now who was it?” Kenny demanded in an overprotective rage. Uri grinned.

“Erwin Smith.” He was a bit hard to understand, but Levi caught it right away. “I was walking around when I saw Erwin waking out of the palace carrying Eren. He was unconscious and didn’t look too good, but when I confronted Erwin, he got angry and tried to beat me up.”

It was Erwin. Erwin had come back for his revenge and had stolen Eren away again, and in his wake, had run into Uri and tried to beat him into submission. 

The fact that Uri was the true king of the walls was a well guarded secret that only few knew. The few who lived in the palace. None of the commanders knew, they all suspected Rod to be the king. Uri was often overlooked for how plane he preferred to dress, usually he was regarded as a servant. A role in which he had no issues playing. So the fact that Erwin had in actuality assaulted the king. That alone was a crime worthy of execution.

“So Eren didn’t leave!” Levi had a moment of relief but it was dashed away quickly when he remembered Erwin had stolen Eren. “A baby. Was there a baby with them.”

“Sadly, no.” Uri told him as he tried to wipe blood away from his face. “I didn’t see baby Sasha and I don’t know what happened to her. I’m sorry.”

Levi felt emotional, his baby was in danger. And with the cult activity increasing, and Sasha being the spitting image of Eren, Levi was terrified for his baby. 

The question was, who to go after first? Sasha, who could end up in the hands of the cult but they still had no idea what happened to her. Or Eren, who was an adult and they knew where he was.

“We need to find Sasha first.” Levi decided.

“You know what,” Uri said. “I’ll ask around to the palace guards about activity. There has to be someone in the palace who saw a baby being taken out. I believe Sasha is the only baby living here right now. There’s no way that was missed. In the meantime, Kenny, you write up a warrant for arrest for Erwin. Get him on charges of kidnaping, rape, abuse of authority, and assaulting of a member of the royal family.”

“No, I want to go kill him right now!” Kenny barked back. He reached out and placed a hand on Uri’s cheek, thumbing over his black eye. “Seeing what he did to you pisses me off.”

“Wanted dead or alive.” Uri nuzzled his hand and turned back to Levi. “You and I will go question the guards.”

Levi was almost amazed that Uri came up with a plan to let Erwin assault him, get him on charges of that, and how to find Sasha so fast and effectively. Then again, Uri was known to be a brilliant strategist and politician, Levi shouldn’t have been so surprised that he knew exactly what to do.

The three of them broke up and went about to go do what they needed to for Eren and Sasha.

***

The year was 844, Erwin was a new recruit to the Scouting Regiment, with full determination to rise up the ranks quickly. He had his goal set on commander. The power and money he would get with such a high position would be astronomical.

He had graduated in the top ten, and could have gone into the Military Police if he wanted, but chose against it because he knew how the civilians thought of the Military Police verses what they thought of the scouts.

Neither were particularly liked or respected, but the people held a fear and distrust when it came to the Military Police, and a mild respect for the scouts. So even though it would be a pay cut and take longer to where he needed to go, he would have a better reputation as the benevolent and loved Scout verses an untrustworthy MP.

His best friend, Nile Dok, had joined the Military Police. He had the exact same ambitions as Erwin did, he just didn’t mind what the poor people thought of him so long as the wealthy elite praised him.

One day, Nile came to Erwin with an exciting opportunity to aid them in their goals. Erwin was convinced pretty easily, more easily than he would have liked to admit.

“Alright, so they say this blessing will grant you whatever you truly desire.” Nile lead him through the alleyways to what looked like an abandoned building, down to the underground, where they were greeted by members of this “religion” and granted access to their activities. “This blessing comes straight from Ymir herself, for the Eldian people! Lucky we found it, eh?”

“Lucky indeed.” Erwin wasn’t real sure what to make of this, going to an underground abandoned building for a cult meeting. Now there, they were given masks to put on over their eyes. “Nile, this is sketchy.”

Nile never answered him, instead the doors flew open and he and Erwin entered the room. There were no furniture or decorations, just people wandering about and conversing, almost as if it were a high society party.

“Welcome, brothers.” A man whose face they could not see as it was obstructed by the mask, but who they could tell was very tall and had smooth chestnut brown hair, approached them. “Is this your first time attending a meeting for the Church of the One True Goddess?”

“Yes.” Nile answered excitedly. “We’re poor Eldians in need. We’re here to receive the Blessing our Goddess Ymir has gifted us.”

“Right this way,” The man who greeted them led them through the room, Erwin could recognize that most people there were wearing layers of white formal robes. Those who weren’t, like he and Nile, were the clear outsiders. “This is out blessing.”

Erwin looked at where the man had directed. Facing away from them, also clad in long white robes, the only difference being that the layers were thicker and longer, and climbed all the way up the neck to the base of the chin, was a child.

Erwin was taken aback. A _child_! That seemed disgusting, even for a bastard like him. He looked to be no more than nine or ten. Erwin was debating if he made a horribly bad decision, and was about to hightail it out of there, but then the boy turned around.

He wore a somber and mature expression for his age, and held himself like an adult. He had messy, fluffy brown hair that laid elegantly on high cheekbones disguised under full cheeks. However it was the eyes. Radiant, enormous emerald green eyes looked up at him. 

If not for his size and height, one could almost mistake him for an adult. The man who greeted them, introduced them.

“Gentlemen, this is Eren.” He said, gesturing towards the boy. Then he gestured back towards them. “Eren, these men wish for your blessing.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, gentlemen.” Eren gave a short bow before standing back up straight. “Who can I bless first?”

Nile was clearly giddy, eager for his gift, so Eren took him by the hand and led him away into a side room. They were gone for about an hour.

When Nile came back, he laughed happily and pat Erwin on the back. “Go get it big shot!” And pushed Erwin into the little room.

There was a small cot sitting on the floor, and Eren sat on his knees on it. While ceremonial robes still intact and perfect. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as Erwin had thought.

“What is your wish?” Eren asked innocently.

“I wish to be the commander of the Survey Corps.” Erwin told him. “I want to be rich and celebrated. Well off, and untouchable. I want the best life possible.”

Eren nodded and waved him over, which he did. Eren told him to sit, which he did. There was a silence between them. Eren looked a bit scared, but he reached out and grabbed Erwin’s face, pulling him down and leaning up to--

Erwin gasped and shoved Eren away when he realized what was happening. Eren blinked a few times, but overall didn’t seem too phased.

“If you want the blessing, this is how it is.” Eren told him in a calm voice. “This is how the blessing is received. If you’re not comfortable with it at first, then let’s take some time to sit and talk.”

“Is this really what you want?” Erwin asked. “You realize that you’re not acting your age, right? That these things you’re doing are very wrong, right?”

“Sir, this is what I have to do.” Eren said in a small voice. “I have no other choice. This is my only purpose in life, and it’s all I’ll ever be useful for. It’s ok, I’m used to it now.”

Eren laid down on the cot and urged Erwin to crawl on top of him, which he did. It felt strange, it felt _wrong_ to be doing what he was about to be doing. Eren nodded and gave him the go ahead.

Erwin slowly began to push up the robe with one hand and reach down to his own pants with the other.

That was when all hell broke lose.

The door flew open and the man who had introduce them was storming in, gun in hand and murder in his eyes as his mask was long gone. The doors around flew open, and by some miracle or miracles Erwin dogged them. The place was in a panic. Bullets flying everywhere as the Military Police stormed the place. Nile yelling at him to duck and get out as fast as he can.

Erwin glanced back one last time to see Eren. The undercover MP was sitting on the ground talking to him calmly. He had not time to linger on what they discussed, as he and Nile made haste making their escape. And somehow, by some miracle of the Goddesses, they did.

Panting and slump agents the walls of some random back alleys, Erwin confronted Nile.

“Nile, what the fuck was that?” He panted angrily. “Holy hell! What the absolute fuck was that! That was a cult that raped a kid! Do you have any idea how wrong that is!”

“Oh shut up!” Nile groaned. “You act as if you didn’t take the blessing yourself! So don’t pretend to sit on a high and mighty throne!”

“I didn’t!” Erwin yelled. “I never got to it! We were busted!”

“But were you going to?”

“That’s not the point, Nile!” Erwin hissed. He sighed and rubbed his face. Fuck. He was actually going to do it. Actually wanted to do it. That Eren was something else, and he couldn’t stop thinking about him. “Who who was that guy anyways? The one who did the bust.”

“Huh? Oh, him.” Nile thought about it. “He’s a senior member of the Military Police, an undercover agent who’s really good at it. Nicknamed The Owl, his real name is, what was it again? Oh that’s right! Eren Kruger. Exceptionally skilled at undercover missions and tasked with most of them. I’m amazed he isn’t retired yet, he’s in his fifties.” 

“And you didn’t recognize a member of your own branch how?”

“One, I never met him before!” Nile barked right back. “Two, he was wearing a mask!”

“Oh my goddess Nile, you sick fuck, you’ve killed us all.”

“You act as if you’re not a sick fuck yourself!”

And he was right. Erwin was every bit the sick fuck he was, and he had planned to use Eren to get his blessing. The cult was busted and Eren was stolen from him, but never forgotten.

And Erwin had found him again, five years later, among the military medics. Right away, as soon as he saw that unmistakable face, Erwin was driven crazy with lust. Eren had grown into an outstanding adult, the only problem being that he married right out of the draft.

Erwin never stood a chance. How could he? He was obsessed with someone who was completely out of reach. Who he first met in exceedingly illegal circumstances. Now, his wishes were fulfilled.

Lying above, and still balls deep in a now twenty-two year old Eren, and praying that they conceived a child. His goals of being rich, loved, and commander all came true, but there was still one wish that never did. And it was his desire to be wed to the beautiful blessing Eren.

He had escaped into Levi’s clutches, and had given birth to Reiner Braun’s child. Erwin still got his way. He had contacted Karina Braun with the news, and sure enough, she took Eren’s baby away for herself.

“I will give you all the children you desire.” Erwin promised as he kissed a completely crazed and out of touch Eren. Not that he minded.

Cleaning himself up and preparing to leave, Erwin picked Eren up bridal style and carried him out. He expected no troubles, but when someone screamed his name from behind, Erwin turned to investigate.

“Hey! Erwin Smith, what are you doing?” It was a servant of the royal family, Erwin recognized him right away. Tiny body, short stature, gray hair. “From what I know, that man is married, and not to you! So put him down and get out!”

“Oh really? Someone like _you_ is threatening me.” Erwin dropped Eren to the floor in a heap and advanced on the servant. “I think it’s time you know your place.”

In one swift motion, Erwin had grabbed his neck in a tight grip in one hand, and was pummeling the face in the other. He didn’t care how badly he pulverized one puny servant. Finally, in his last act of malice, he rammed his knee between the servants legs, earning a loud yelp.

“You little bitch, say anything and I swear to the goddesses I will punish you in ever way imaginable.”

"I won’t!” The servant was sobbing, begging. “Please, don’t hurt me! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I swear I will not breath a word to anyone!”

Erwin was skeptical. He did not trust people, yet this servant was sobbing underneath his hands clearly terrified for his life as to what he could do.

“Breath a word and you're dead.” Erwin warned, the servant nodded fiercely and Erwin dropped him and let him go. 

He didn’t care about what one lousy servant would say, probably never be believed anyways.

Erwin picked Eren up and made his way out. He was going to forced Eren to carry his children, as that was the true gift that Erwin had asked for as he worshipped the body of the blessing that Ymir had sent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm evil and dark as shit. Anyways, I can promise this withought spoilers: Eren will eventually be happy! I promise! Anyways, hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment if you're interested for more. :)


End file.
